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My GF broke up with me, please help?

 
 
Reply Thu 21 Mar, 2013 10:24 pm
My gf broke up with me a week ago because in the past 3 months I didn't spend a lot of time for her. A week before we break up, I asked her for forgiveness, amd I promise her I can be a better bf and spend more time caring for her, but she still broke up with me. She said we are not match in term of personality. I am so sad right now. What should I do? let go? or keep trying to win her back?

It has been a week, I love her so much. I know there are other better girl out there, but I just can't forget her. She is the best girl to me.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,163 • Replies: 7
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 22 Mar, 2013 04:12 am
@johnnxiv,
It takes a while for breakups to heal. You can't expect to feel all better in just one week.

Understand that you did what you could. Now, learn from the experience. You don't need to be in someone's face all the time, but this particular woman thought you were inattentive. So recognize that that might be an issue (but also keep in mind that this is a balancing act, like many things are, and not everyone likes the same levels of contact and connection).

My experience has been that it's usually a bad idea to go after someone after a breakup. It is not impossible to reconcile, but the power dynamic tends to change, and often not for the best for either party.

So be broken up, and mourn your lost relationship a bit, but try not to wallow in that. Spend time by yourself, or with friends, or doing good things. Surely there were people in your life who you saw less of when you were dating this gal, so make sure to reconnect with them. And the time will pass, and you will get up one day and you'll feel better.
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claudene
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Mar, 2013 07:08 am
@johnnxiv,
Sounds like she opened her mind. Don't look like a sorry please take me back fool. Not sexy or cool?! Be a man and get another girl, there is plenty fishes in the sea.
Good luck!
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amy37
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Mar, 2013 01:14 pm
@johnnxiv,
Whether you put in the effort to chase her and get her back, or you decide to move on, the important thing is that you've learned your lesson. You need to give your woman time and attention.
johnnxiv
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Mar, 2013 08:39 pm
@amy37,
I am so depressed right now, she is my first gf. I love her so much. I didn't know how to take good care of a gf. I was focusing on school too much. She left me, and find someone else.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Mar, 2013 08:43 pm
@johnnxiv,
Oh, stop it. Love is a product of care, not infatuation, and care from both people.

Pull up your socks and move along.
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Eva
 
  2  
Reply Sat 23 Mar, 2013 10:27 pm
@johnnxiv,
She was your first girlfriend? Oh, no wonder you're taking this so hard! You've never been through this before!

Go back and read what jespah wrote. She is right. Your feelings are normal. Don't take it so hard, and don't beat yourself up. Different people want different amounts of attention. You two weren't compatible in this area, that's all.

She was your first girlfriend, but she won't be your last. What you are feeling now will pass in time. Meanwhile, focus on things you enjoy. You will get past this, I promise. The first break-up is always the hardest.
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sprantil
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 Mar, 2013 10:55 pm
@johnnxiv,
Well, a week after a breakup is still fairly recent. I'm sorry you are hurt by her but pleading and asking her for forgiveness is only going to push her away further and only makes you look desperate. The best thing to do right now would be to end all communication with her and act like you are not bothered by the break up. Don't talk and ask about her to her friends either.Have you ever heard of absence makes the heart grow fonder? If you completely act like you have no interest in her, overtime she will begin to analyze the relationship and maybe, even regret breaking up with you. I would say don't contact her for about a month. Even if she calls and texts you don't respond. This I guarantee you will worry her. After a month, give her a buzz and ask how she's doing, you know just small talk. If you guys rekindle the relationship then good for you, but if it's really over then it's over. I know it's tough and i dealt with difficult breakups from boyfriends. But look at it this way, every breakup, no matter how hard it is, is just another step closer to finding the right one that's meant to be with you. Smile
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