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How to express this idea?

 
 
Reply Sun 21 Mar, 2004 06:28 am
One of my friends ask me to polish his draft of self-introduction. One of the sentences reads like this:

the reason I choose to explore life science can cast back to my childhood.

The idea he wants to express is that his childhood exerts much influence on why he want to explore life science now.

I feel that his sentence sounds a bit awkward, but I fail to come up with a better sentence.

Who can help me to make a better sentence without changing his sentence patterns too much. Thank you a million!
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 704 • Replies: 3
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Noddy24
 
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Reply Sun 21 Mar, 2004 02:48 pm
My reasons for exploring Life Science are rooted in my childhood experiences.
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oristarA
 
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Reply Sun 21 Mar, 2004 10:44 pm
Nice Noddy.

Anyone would like to explain why the original sentence sounds awkward?
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Mar, 2004 09:12 am
Quote:
the reason I choose to explore life science can cast back to my childhood.
Quote:


1. "The reason I choose to explore" is wordy. Simply give the reason, don't announce it.

2. "Can cast back" This is not a "can cast back" vs. "cannot cast back". "Can" implies several possibilities.

3. "Cast back" Meaningless--unless you're talking about fly fishing. "Goes" is a clearer word.
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