@The Pentacle Queen,
I'm your direct opposite, but then I'm multiples of your age. But I think behaviors do tend to stick. I did spend years in near constant agitation for arguably good reasons a long time ago but even back then I had a zoning out to looking around mode for the spaces I was in, and some procrastination behavior.
Clearly you are bright and driven.
Of course I think you should relax already - but then I would.
I'll speak up for zoning out and just being.
Sometimes I think fear is a driver of frenetic activity. But.. sometimes that has good results.