Why do I have feelings for my teacher,20 years older than me

Why would being physically attracted to someone of the opposite sex seem irrational?

*confuddled*

Sounds normal to me.

What you are feeling is not abnormal. It is what you are DOING that is impractical. You are thrown together with him, because you are in college to get an education. If you waste your time mooning about him, you wll not learn what you are supposed to learn. Hey, for all you know, he may be happily married, with a half dozen kids, and a couple of grandkids.

It is very common for a young girl to fall in love with her teacher. In your 30's though, you are NOT a girl, but a woman. You need to set boundries for yourself, and enjoy him for what he is.....................a person who is there for the purpose of imparting knowledge to you.

If being interested in him is keeping you interested in the course, then fine, so long as the crush doesn't go anywhere. After all, if there was intimacy between you, he could be fired. If your interest in him is distracting you from your studies, that's not so good. Like Phoenix said, you're in college to learn and, given your age, I imagine you're paying for it, so not paying attention means wasting your hard-earned money.

In college, my roommate and I had crushes on our Economics professor. It wasn't that he was so attractive or anything, it was that he was from South Africa and had the most amazing accent and voice. So he was a joy to listen to. We ended up channeling our feelings into a desire to succeed, and she got an A while I got an A- in the class. It can be done, but it does take some discipline. Welcome to Able2know.

student-teacher relationships are highly discouraged so be careful. I know your feelings all too well. I was attracted to my art teacher. She is in her 40's.

I had the exact same problem (being attracted to 50 year old teachers) myself. The way I got over it, however, was to imagine him doing disgusting things.

Thanks everyone. At least I feel that there is not something wrong with me for having this attraction. I think I will try to imagine him doing disgusting things, as mentioned! I wonder if I am attracted to him because I know I can't have him, which makes it very safe.

That could easily be part of it! Good thinking.

The problem is when he starts noticing that this cute 30-year-old is lusting after him, and he gets interested...

Part of it also has to do with women being attracted to authority figures. I always am! Enjoy the feelings while they last. Just don't do anything stupid that could affect other relationships or his career. Okay?

Why, I remember when I was about a thirty-year-old woman, and I have to say that I had completely different things on my mind. Like... japanese animation, and video games...

Teacher-student affairs are common worldwide.

When I was a university professor, there was this student I really liked. She liked me too. After the course, I asked her to be my assistant .

She is exactly 12 years my junior. We've been together -lately with our ups and downs- since 14 years ago, and married 11 years ago.

I was waiting for someone to 'spill the beans', fbaezer. Very common indeed.

Katapillar-
Just wait 'til the course is over, go to his office to thank him for a good course, and see what happens...

Thanks everyone. However, now I suspect he may be gay? No kids, never been married...Regardless, even though I think that may be the case, there is still an attraction....it is something on a deep level when I look into his eyes. Also, my heart literally starts to pound when he is close to me. I have decided to ignore it not look at him so much!

Perhaps he just prefers to be unattached...

Or maybe some awful creature broke his heart years ago, and you are just the girl to help him mend it.

Or maybe he's a psychotic axe-murderer and all his past loves/victims are buried in his back yard.

You'll never know unless you find out.

The type of attraction you described doesn't happen every day; why waste it? Years from now will you wonder what might have been?

Today I dine with an old friend of mine. He still teaches at the University.
In the first years of his tenure, he was a very popular teacher among female students. He dated several of them.
As time went time, and he was still a bachelor, the word of mouth said he was gay. He was 40, no kids, never married, and shared his apartment with a male Italian chef. I knew he was not gay, but did -as others- tease him about the rumor.
He married not much later, to a former student 16 years his junior. Now they have two beautiful kids with ugly names.

This is very common. I get an inordinate amount of attention from ladies who work for me. Sometimes it is difficult for me to discern my own genuine interest from that of my inner pig… so proceed with caution. On the other hand, some of my best friends are women who are both ex-girlfriends and ex-employees, so there can be no correct "standard answer" to your inquiry.

Ooh, ooh, Bill! You own your own business? (batting eyelashes)....

Oh wait. So do I. Nevermind.

Actually, I'm now unemployed, unshaven and just about useless. Major transitional period (mid-life crisis?) while figuring out what to do next. If all goes well; I'll be moving to Costa Rica (I get an inordinate amount of attention from ladies there too :wink: ).

Hey, we all go through these times, Bill. It's never easy, but I'm betting you'll land on your feet. You're a bright, enterprising sort. Six months of living on the beach in Costa Rica, and you may own the drink concession there.