True love

Prior to ones first relationship they have complete faith and far more imagination for what the future might hold. We can imagine and portray so many possibilities of what may come. We have pure faith in everyone and we expose our raw selves to every one that passes. It opens us up to be hurt in such a deep way but it is by far the realest relationship we can have. We have many of these relationships when we are children. These relationships often lead to “best friends” which are friends that we generally have for our whole lives. We learn lessons together we grow up together.

What is it actually to grow up? It seems that growing up and maturing is equivalent to feeling less and following logic more. We ignore emotions more and more and become driven by things less tied to our soul. Is this really becoming more mature? Sure we are more shielded to the elements but does that mean we are more mature? It is the natural course of things to put up a shell and subdue our emotions over time because they are the things they hurt us the worst as we grow up. There are a select few who try to keep this shell down. Some of us put up this shield from a very young age essentially never having what is a “real” relationship.

How do we recover when something has been done to us that we simply cannot justify or fathom it? The natural instinct is to bury it but is this healthy? It seems like it is the only choice because we can’t address or fix something we cant even justify in our heads. Is it right or wrong to shield our true selves from others to protect ourselves? Are the few relationships, which thrive on the ability to be open with one another worth the hurt we experience from other relationships where people take advantage of your raw exposure?

Is it possible to expose yourself completely to someone to be taken complete advantage of and have them not exploit this? Some people may say that they understand and are completely exposed as well but this is almost never the case. It is human nature to help themselves and only do things that serve them in some way so is it ignorant to make yourself exploitable? Are there people out there who allow themselves to be exploited to find those few people who wont exploit it. This is the best way to tell if someone is truly your friend or not.

To this point in my life I have only found one person who has had every opportunity to exploit me and wont. There has only been one person who has never used me in any way for self-benefit. This is the only other person I need to live and the only person I couldn’t live without. How many people exist that would act in the same manner. Are there any other people who wouldn’t take advantage of someone who offered everything at no price? Is it that rare for someone to only allow himself or herself to take as much as they give?

I can’t explain why I will never exploit someone for my own benefit being that I am not a “religious” person. I am not even sure if I believe in any sort of higher power but yet I try to do the right thing simply because it is the right thing. It doesn’t make sense for me to leave myself open to be exploited by anyone that passes by seeing as it has lead to very much being used but I cant change it. I feel like it is the right thing to do. I feel like it is something I cant live with-out? The one person who has never betrayed or exploited me is my best friend and I love him to death, but to find this with a woman would be truly special. I want to find a woman that I can give everything to who expects none of it. I want to find a woman who I can leave myself completely open to and she will thrive in the access to my raw emotions rather than exploit them. Are there woman who can love you for you despite what you have to offer. It is almost a curse having a lot to offer. Its nearly impossible to know if someone loves you for what you can give them or if they love you for who you truly are. I simply can’t wait to find someone who wants nothing from me and loves me so that I can give them everything. Can this work? Or will the love always be influenced by what I have to offer.

How do I find a relationship where someone wants nothing from me and loves me for me so that I can give them everything because it makes me happy to do so?