help regarding my expectant ex!!!

let me paint the story......(sorry its a bit long)....

2.5 years ago Sarah said she wanted to be a couple together in an off grid project, become self sufficient, and that she couldnt do it without me, and that the money she would use would be "ours." i liked the idea, felt great about her, and we did it.

2.3 years ago, after a few weeks, i saw signs of tantrums - i explained that each time this happened i felt like i needed space and it damaged the relationship, and how it could be a danger to the relationship in the future.

Sarah had a misscarriage which was hard on both her, she was an emotional wreck for a few months afterwards and very irrational - normal tho, and i supported her throughout. winter 2011 was hard for Sarah, she saw lack in many things, and got down, more tantrums. i tried to help but all my attempts where meeted with "don't tell me what to do". in this winter, after i persuaded her, she went for a 2 week silent reatreat- afterwards she came back and was sorry and knew that she was very difficult to be with in this time - all healed.

more good times, our son was born in september 2011, the winter passed with Sarah struggling with the cold and lack mentality, but was also a nice winter much of the time.

Then about a year ago (feb 2012) the tantrums really ramped up - they would last 2 days, or more, and be spawned for nothing sometimes, or something tiny, housey, or day to day stuff. It was sooo irrational, like an emotional mind of an 14 year old. I tried to pull her up, but she just wanted to pull me down. she insulted me, what i do, my life, past, everything when in this mode. really nasty comments that break relationships in machine gun rapid fire, i each time slept in another room for a day or 2, but this would make her get hotter, and the tantrum would just get more destructive and even vengeful (in words) . i remained calm and tried to help, but to no evail, the tantrums continued.

i meditated once for 24 hours with no food on this dynamic - it seemed to me Sarah ignores, defends, then attacks. e.g if i say any feelings about the relationship, or about any leaks in the relationship, she would ignore, defend, attack. this i saw was from a dynamic that came from her father. Sarah did not care for my insights.

Sarah also told me many times, that her tantrums are her strength. also, when a door does not close, or a fork needs rummaging for in a tray, if neither occur in a few seconds, Sarah will bang it, force it, be aggresive - the tantrum energy is deep in her. esoterically i sometimes saw that when she got into a tantrum, it was like she was invoking dark energy, that would then want feeding off me - these energies pulled her down into low self esteem, depression, and a couple of occassions - suicidal comments.

in this time i got deeper into Sarah's dynamics (we lived remotely) - what caused the bottle up and the tantrum? - many times we dug for the cause and it was nothing, other times it was a door not being shut properly and me saying something (softly and nicely) - or a kettle issue. or me being rigid about a house item, no different to what Sarah could do on another day. when we had these chats, it was irrational and strange - and hard to keep on topic for me.....she would bring in anything from leftfied to "layer over."

i could not help her, or explain anything to her - a wall grew.

around may 2012 i started sleeping in another room, and couldnt look after our son when Sarah was in tantrum mode- i just needed space when she was like this - it was like darts at my energy. this made her angrier / tantrums more frequent....catch 22.

one day in june, she finished the relationship in a tantrum, booked a flight, and sat listless saying "she did not want to talk" for the weeks before her flight. she said she "had never been happy with me" - i asked why she had not mentioned this and continued to make love with me "only to keep the peace" she replied.

in the tantrums Sarah lets me know the land is hers, and not ours (a change from the original agreement), and makes me feel like i am ungrateful, she focuses on logistics, materialism, and not feelings in this mode, and threatens me. Before she left she hated the land, and "waved the white flag."

then she found out she was pregnant.....(one night in the last 2 months she was here, we slept together in the same yurt as her parents used the other room ....and we did have a great day and things flowed that way).

amidst toxic emails and getting nowhere, most blaming me for her "loss in self esteem", in nov 2012 she said she wanted to return home - i said no as we were not in a state to share space, as nothing had changed, the pattern had no roots sorted out - both our parents also agreed the best place for her was england with her supportive family. i felt she wanted to return, not for me, but because she felt "hemmed in" at her parents.

for months then an email war ensued - i would not be understood on email, and email tantrums would come back - she was blaming me for everthing, being irrational, desperate, and nuerotic. As she got more pregnant, this increased, and none of my offered solutions were taken up (books, regression, nvc, hypnosis, mediators), i even cut communication for a while....for my sanity.

In this paragim Sarah was staying at her loving parents in england - Sarah has admitted her family historically have told her she is perfect, it's not her, its everyone else - this goes back to when she was at school.

also, when Sarah was young, her family admitted a lie to her, her sisters where not her real sisters but half....relevant? i don't know.

recently the emails i receive have mixed messages, assumptions, sometimes nice, mostly cold, and sometimes attacking, she recently finished with me on facebook and posted pics that she is free.....and made me look bad in front of my friends.

she gives birth this week.

what is coming is one of the following:

she will want to get back together (i dont), and if i dont she will get vengeful,
she will want to sell the land and get all the money (legally tho, it is half mine).

i cannot live with two kids of mine if the mum is toxic to my energy, and cannot even listen as to why i feel this.

i really need some advice on this matter.

oh, i am skint (due to a self sustainable project....thats kind of the idea), and cannot up and go.......tho i would if i had some cash.