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Breakup(?) Can I save this?

 
 
Reply Wed 6 Feb, 2013 10:45 pm
Ok so I have the weirdest, most difficult situation I have ever seen. I'll give some background to hopefully make this clearer.

1 year ago (8th grade, I know I'm a bit young) I began a relationship with a guy I had crushed on for years and he on myself. Everything looked promising and the entire class agreed we were the cutest couple ever. It was great until we encountered some barriers. We both were very VERY shy and things that would normally go on between a couple were not. Hugging and holding hands were forced and mostly weird. Kissing was out of the question and after a month we settled into a awkward phase of little physical contact. We never saw one another outside of school and I did and do not have a phone or social networking account.

We were both determined to make this work so we made an agreement to stick to conversations and this cute little cuddle that we did when sitting next to one another ( basically we each intertwined one of our feet together) so it was good. Right? Wrong.
I became extremely ill one day and was pulled out of school and never returned with no warning to anyone, not even I knew about not returninguntil later. Our fragile relationship was destroyed by the complete isolation and nasty rumors flying around. And that was it

Skip to present day. I am doing much better and will go back to public high school next year. I had moved on from my past relationship until earlier today. I was. Searching for my brother in the high school and ran into many of my old friends. One of them ran off and came back dragging my "ex" with her (keep in mind we had never officially broken up and it had been a year since we had last spoken)
"So you guys never really broke up right? So does that mean you're still together?"
Floored by the sudden appearance of my ex and the question I nervously replied
"Well, uh, technically no."
I wish I could shove those words down my throat. After seeing the shocked look on my friends faces I quickly turned and fled without even looking at my ex. Suddenly I realized that I did wish we were still together but now I fear I have ruined it.

Can I save this? What can I say to my ex to hopefully repair and strengthen our out of touch relationship? If we do get back together would increasing our physical(non sexual) contact help?
Thanks for reading my long and rather unbelievable sob story.
Any help is greatly welcomed Smile
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Feb, 2013 06:22 am
@Awkwardchick,
You can just go ahead and approach the guy. Tell him what you told us, and mention that when you saw him it was awkward and unexpected and in public. You blurted out something weird, under pressure. And you apologize.

And then it will either happen, or it won't. Personally, I think neither of you were ready for a relationship, and that was likely why you did not advance things too far physically. Do you still feel this way? Does he? Then it may be some other reason, and I keep coming up with beard. As in, a het relationship that is conducted as a front for homosexuality. It's fine to not be all over each other (plus you are rather young), but an utter lack of physical contact smells red flag to me, particularly as you both get older.

There is nothing wrong with this, but recognize that there might be a reason for the no contact thing.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Feb, 2013 11:32 am
You've been gone for a whole year! Give the guy a break. (I can't believe you did not connect with each other during that entire year)

You are going to have to start over. Connect with him and tell him that you'd like to see him again. See what he says. That's about all you can do.

PS - And stop letting your girlfriends run your love life. Tell them to step back. It puts too much pressure on both of you.
Awkwardchick
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Feb, 2013 04:44 pm
@PUNKEY,
Yeah, my friends definitely need to back off. The reason I could not contact him for all that time was because we lived nearly 1 hr. from each other and he doesn't have an email and I don't have a phone or anything else.
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Awkwardchick
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Feb, 2013 04:50 pm
@jespah,
. You're probably right about us not being ready. I'll explain what happened and see if we can start over at the beginning as friends. If not then I guess it really wasn't meant to be.
Thanks, getting another person's view on it helped a lot. I'll let you know what happens. Smile
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