I didn´t have such a good day either but let´s face it... look at so much honesty there is here.. AND pointing out the things you wanna change are already a good step for the change.
I like your little story. also I realised that sharing yourself (as you are doing here) will help a lot for your transformation and adding the fact that you will find people in the same situation than you.. including me. I don´t have any answers for you, unless that yeah, we are all a bit psycho I guess.
A nice thing which I think is exciting is telling your story to someone or part of your story ( it might get you out of your boring and funny subjects that you always talk about. For example:
"I feel that I put a mask on when I am at parties, do you have this sensation as well?"
And my questions in return would be.. Who asked you to be funny at parties? Who asked you to be a good husband? Why is it wrong to tell mean things? Why looser seems so rejecting?
and I would put an other word.. expectations.