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Mon 4 Feb, 2013 08:24 pm
So here's my story..
I met up with a guy,a guy I met off my cousin from fb, he was 17 I was only 12 turning 13.. She convinvced him I was older and he was younger..
We started talking on facebook that night,he mentioned sex,and my thoughts on it and whether I had done or would do it.. He then later that night asked to meet the next day,I agreed.
So I decided to meet him, in the park.. In the middle of a woodland area
So there I was was finally with him, was only 5 minitues and he was trying to shove his tounge down me, I mean I could JUST cope with that.. We spoke a bit aswell but that was about it.. He then started touching me down below,I automatically pushed away,telling him stop, this was a constant thing,and it got a point where he didn't listen..
He was fingering me,rubbing me.. Everything.
Laying there on the floor,he wouldn't take no for answer..
I then later got a call from my mum, he grabbed my phone and put it in his pocket..
He then unzipped his trousers and asked me to suck him off,I said no again and again and he gave me this evil look, saying 'oh I came all the way too see you and blah blah'. And I then did so..
He told me to get down on the floor and take my leggings off,I said no,he didn't listen
He then forced his cock up me..I said no he didn't listen,
Didn't last long,about 5 minitues,as I was a virgin,I was tight,got difficult for him..
I don't know if this is rape or w.e but this eats me up even to today,I has such mized emotions later that day,I didn't know what it was, I tried convincing myself I wanted it,but I was only 12? Cry about it,was even on the edge of ending my life, feel dirty and worthless, and I just don't know what it is.. And this happened matter of years ago could I still get him done even with no/very little evidence?
And most of all, is it weird the fact I remember roughly the date it happened? The day my life was destroyed?
I mean idk..maybe I'm just a date remembering person..
@sarah1998,
YES, girl you were raped. WHY the **** did you go into the woods with a kid you just met?? What the hell were you thinking? Or maybe you weren't ...
@sarah1998,
Yes, it's rape.
Tell your parents, or teachers or another trusted adult.
This guy should be in jail. And even if it's somehow too late to prosecute him specifically for rape, you should still tell someone, as he should be a registered sex offender.
@Nooneleft,
I was just a kid,I wasn't thinking.. I was immature and dumb, and I ruined my life
@sarah1998,
Thank you!
This happened a long time ago?.. Like how they supposed to gather evidence?
Because of race,religion,and ethincity its not as easy as you put it
I'm a pakistani muslim..
Its not as easy as that
Yes, it was rape. A 17 year old with a 12 year old never should have happened. He took advantage of your age and experience.
You must forgive yourself. You were young and foolish. He was cruel and criminal.
Please go to a rape counseling center to talk to someone who will understand and help you to go on with your life.
How old are you now?
@PUNKEY,
I can't do that..
I'm a pakistani, my culture and religion etc is difficult,I can't just find a conusellor, I can't just go to the police,it is hard, and erm I'm almost 15
@sarah1998,
Then talk to a teacher, at the absolute, barest minimum. Explain what happened. It was a long time ago. Ask what the teacher suggests.
As for evidence, there's testimony. Without forensic evidence (e. g. semen), it's not so easy. But it's not impossible.
I am sorry that this happened to you. But even if you cannot get justice, you do need to get to a point where you understand it was not anything you did, said, wore, didn't say, didn't wear, prayed about, etc. It was him; it was his doing.
@jespah,
I have,nothings been done,
Not sure what to even do anymore..
Last night I could feel him touching me,I could feel him in the room, got so scared,I started crying.. I need some help
@sarah1998,
Yes. You need therapy. And I realize that, where you are, you are unlikely to get it. Is it possible to at least speak with your pediatrician? Tell your parents you're not feeling well (which is the truth).
if you said "no" its rape. at the very least, tell your mum. i realise going to the authorities isn't really an option (and that is soooo wrong!)but you need to tell someone you trust.
a problem shared is a problem halved.
@Berty McJock,
Yes,I did say no..
But i still let half of it happen because I had no choice..
So I wasn't sure..
And yeah,I'm not sure who to talk to, I mean, I told this cousin of mine, and she told everyone,matter of hours,all the kids in my year in my area knew,was slowly spreadying, it didn't get to a point where my parents found out though.. And that killed me even more.. People thought I was lieing and I was begging it for attention..
And I find out months later,my cousin had sex with him, and she got pregnant.. And I'm starting to wonder if this attack was planned,if she had some idea about it,because she was good mates with guy before this, she did introduce us because he h asked her too do soo..
I'm not sure,but honestly,people either don't care enough to do anything or care and literally can't do anything to help because they have no idea of such a situatuon
@sarah1998,
you've done nothing wrong. you said no. whether you "let him do it" or not is irrelevant. you said no.
tell your mum. she is probably the closest person you have, and as a woman she will understand, and will know what to do with regards to how it affects you emotionally and culturally.
and break all contact with this boy. if he's done it once he'll do it again. he obviously doesn't care as he has already got your cousin pregnant. she is probably feeling just as ashamed (and neither of you should be) and confused as you.
@sarah1998,
Ya, it was a bit vague wasn't it. Well I just posted it to show you one of the possibilities that a women cope with after being raped, and I found the way that this women in turkey coped with as an interesting story. Now, please don't take it to mean that you should do the same thing.
I think you should listen to the advice of others and talk with someone who is mature and someone you can trust, and just discuss any any pent up fears and feeling you have felt after this terrible incidence which you unfortunately had to experience.
@Berty McJock,
I honestly can't speak to my mum about this.. Really can't
And offcourse! I don't even have contact with the guy..
And another thing..
My cousin wasn't raped by him, she had sex with him
@aspvenom,
Hm, its crazy, I'm struggling to find a reason to live, I don't see a purpose no moreas much as people say there is,I won't feel my normal self ever again..
And all I've being doing 2years is trying to listen to advice and follow through,its so hard,so freaking hard,and I can't do it anymore, it dosent work, and I'm really stuck
@sarah1998,
you need to tell someone...is there no-one you can trust?
believe me i understand you are scared, confused etc, but if you keep it bottled up, it will hurt you mentally further down the line. you will never forget it, so you need to come to terms with it. you can only do that by telling someone you trust. we can advise you on here, but unfortunately we cannot offer more than moral support.
it seems to me that whether your cousin had sex willingly with him or not, he is the sort to take advantage. she got pregnant. where was his condom?
and how old was she? if she was under the age of consent, whether she said yes or not, it's statutory rape (in most countries, admittedly i don't know pakistani law).
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