Going with NC....

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It's been a week since 'the deed' and we have had sporadic contact, nothing sexual - just general chit chat like ' how are you' etc. Anyway I decided to go with NC and focus on fixing my marriage. Mostly for my kids sake but I feel that it is worth saving. However I am p*ssed at the OM. He has seriously annoyed me with his behaviour. He started this and has so cooly walked away seemingly unscathed. I have had moments where I thought of contacting his wife but then I think of the damage that would cause and I stop. I feel betrayed. I am hurt. I was so stupid. He got what he wanted and has tossed me aside. He had the audacity to say to me that we should perhaps think that what we have with our spouses is good. That it is funny that we slipped but we are good people and stopped it progressing. What the hell does that mean? It was never going to progress. He says its our little secret - don't I bloody know it. It's like a weight round my neck. Are these feelings normal??

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@JJ76,

For those unfamiliar, there are earlier topics.

And now back to this one. Well, I think guilt is kinda normal. I agree with no contact of course.

He's a dick. Feel free to be angry with him. But seriously consider counseling as you are also rather angry with yourself.

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@JJ76,

JJ76 wrote:

He got what he wanted and has tossed me aside.

I think you need to really think about this sentence. At the same time that you say it wouldn't have progressed, you seem to be angry that it stopped.

What would you have done if he hadn't tossed you aside?

I'd recommend getting some counselling and really talking this all through with someone.

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@jespah,

Yes, I am seeing a therapist next week. He leaves for his o/seas contract tomorrow. I broke my own NC yesterday and he responded everytime - breadcrumbs - nothing more. I haven't responded to his last msg and this is giving me strength. I am done. No more - he can jog on. I am going to fix me then my marriage. Too much time and energy has been wasted on this dalliance. It ends today. I will get through this. Just wish there was a quick fix....

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@ehBeth,

You know @ehBeth I don't know. I have no idea what I was thinking or doing. As a mum to two young babies I don't have the time somedays to wash my hair let alone have an affair. I know I couldn't weave a web of lies and my H would see right through me as I am very dedicated to my family. I have been going over in my head why I did what I did and I think it was a self esteem issue as a SAHM who has had a complete life change and piled on the lbs! I lived a very carefree existence before my family and this OM was someone I used to party with years ago. Maybe it was my trying to prove that I am a responsible person now. I'm just so confused and feel so alone as I don't think I can confide to anyone close to me. My husband is a very popular man and people respect him. I just don't know what to do or when I will stop feeling like this.

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@JJ76,

Sometimes I just don't know why people on here are so darn nice.

To be blunt, you are a married woman who spread her legs for a married man. What were you expecting? For him to think you were such a great lay that he would drop his wife to run to you? He got what he wanted. Sex with you. You got what you wanted. Sex with him. Now try to put that same energy into forgetting about him and making it up to your husband.

(Maybe all this was said in an earlier thread, but I didn't want to go searching to read it.)

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Going with NC....

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