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Mon 15 Mar, 2004 07:43 am
i think i have a problem, although i kind of like the situation. .
i have a boyfriend whom i've been seeing for a year and a month ago i broke up with him and now we got together again. in the time that i wasn't seeing him, i met someone else whom i liked and fancied very much..
[let's call my boyfriend Chris and the one i met lately, i'll call him Jake]
the problem is that when i rearranged again with Chris, i didn't break up with Jake; i continued seeing him as well... Chris, at first knew about Jake [when we broke up;and he was very angry cause he and Jake work together] but when i rearranged with Chris for the second time he seems very happy and content, cause he loves me.. he doesn't know that i still see Jake secretly as well.. now he and jake, are talking again, but of course Chris doesn't suspect a thing!
i was never like this... i was always; one boyfriend at any one time... í fancy Jake very much and i like him a lot.. Chris loves me and is very serious about me.. i love Chris but i don't fancy him anymore... should i continue living like this?? or should i choose one [i don't know whom to choose cos'i don't wanna lose either of them!] what should i do?
in a few words: you just need to make up your mind girl.
You love him but you no longer 'fancy' him??? Does that mean you love him like a brother or something??
Seems to me, it's best for Chris if you leave him alone - especially if you dn't really like him anymore. Let him get someone who'll reciprocate (wording??) his feelings.
Re: should i continue living like this..??
baywatch babe wrote:.........Chris loves me and is very serious about me.. i love Chris but i don't fancy him anymore......
i think a simple switch to accurate terms will help with the decision;
'love' is a very complex emotion, but it doesn't include 'don't fancy him anymore'.
i would suggest having a three way meeting; put everything on the table, and decide as a group.
dishonesty kills relationships of any kind! (and 'love' is frequently a 'red herring'!)
Put yourself in Chris or Jake's place. How would feel? It is unfair and hurtful. Make a decision - it would be better for all 3 of you. If you don't, most likely they will find out about each other and you may find yourself without either of them.
All I can say is follow your heart cause all we can do is give advice we cant make the choice for you!
You have two relationships, both of which are built on lies.
Lies are not a good foundation for long-term love.
What you're doing is cruel and selfish. Plain and simple. You make me mad.
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