text-based relationship : feeling weird about it

Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2013 04:26 am
So basically I've met this girl in an online game a month ago, and for some reason I started writing to her on skype about basically anything I could find. I don't really know why I even started writing to her so much, whether it was just because it was a girl online (as ridiculous as it may sound) or because I really felt like I did like her. In any case, from then days passed when we wrote more to each other in a day than I wrote to my friends in a year - basically my whole day was writing to her, sometimes playing a game or two with her, and then writing to her again.

We've come to a point now where we consider each other boyfriend/girlfriend which are grand words to use knowing all we really do is write to each other. I have heard her voice, and she has heard mine, but that was mostly in big skype conversations and we never really talked 1on1 because we both agree that would be extremely awkward (and we both are shy and awkward) and we have shared photos, but the rest is all just text. I did tell her I'd visit her as soon as possible (from Europe to Australia) though...

The thing is, I don't really know how to feel about all this. I don't know if I love her, or if I'm just trying to force me into loving her or if I just like her a lot, or nothing. When I think about it our relationship being merely text-based I can't really know, can I? In the evening I somehow am always happy that the last thing I do before going to sleep is have a 2-3 hours writing section with her, but in the morning I always have this feeling that I don't really know what to think about all that, and then I'm scared I don't love her enough or something like that and it's a horrible feeling because for some reason I WANT to love her.
Has anyone had a similar situation ? Can this relationship even work out if I'm so doubtful about it ? Am I just being childish and asked her out just because I could ? I feel kind of lost and I don't like the fact that my feelings about this relationship vary the whole time... anything to say about it ?
Thanks in advance : )

PS: I guess it may be useful to know I'm 19 and she is 17, if that is of any importance.
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Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2013 04:46 am
The only thing that would put me off is the distance from Europe to Australia. With that kind of investment in time and money, I think you might both feel obliged to get very well acquainted very quickly. Personally, I wouldn't continue in a romantic sense, but maybe I'm too practical.
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Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2013 05:54 am
Recognize that you are not seeing the entire picture. Even with Skype, there are a LOT of things you are missing. After all, if you're feeling down (or she is), you can always just not connect, right? There is always a way for "something" to come up. And so you are not seeing this girl at her worst, or when it's not convenient for her to talk. And the same is true in reverse. Dating is already a "best foot forward" type of situation to begin with, and distance and online stuff only compounds all of that.

An enormous difference is made when you meet someone. It is an investment of time and money. But as Roger has hinted at, if you meet, you are rather likely to seize the moment and sleep together. It can turn into a multi-thousand mile booty call. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do know the facts.

Can people fall in love with the distance and all? I won't tell you it's impossible; we've got a couple here who did just that (she's Canadian, he was in Ohio when they met; they now live in Toronto). But understand that they are far older than you are, and so they did not have teenaged angst on top of everything else.

Meet first. Decide on love later. Don't rush it.
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2013 08:43 am
In my day they called it a Pen Pal.

Please see this relationship for what it is: textationship.

Enjoy it. But the thing that concerns me is how much time this relationship is taking away from you actually meeting and interacting with a real person.
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Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2013 09:09 am
jespah wrote:
they are far older

Crying or Very sad
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2013 09:23 am
If you can call 2 years far, that is.
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