Reply
Thu 10 Jan, 2013 01:38 am
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years now. We've had our ups and downs every relationship does. Over the past 4 years I have been there for everything that she's needed. I've come close to loosing my job several times for sitting by her side whenever she'd need to go to the hospital holding her hand. Whenever she over did it and her body would ache I'd draw a scented candlit bath and massage her. I've been there for her financialy. I drive her everywhere she wants due to a medical condition and never complained about anything. I was happy to support someone I was developing strong feelings for. Recent times seem to have changed her. She occasionaly becomes a raging bitch for lack of a better term for a week or two. Just the other day she wanted a week to her self since she spent the week at my place prior. Her reason was a chest injury she sustained and she wanted to rest alone to try and heal. She just cancled a date she sceduled with me and said maybe some other time. I have recently fallen into some family and legal issues that have my state of health rabidly declining. Specifacly I am having anxiety attacks. So far no support from her. I haven't eaten in days. Earlier today I had gone for a nap and she tried to contact me. When I woke up it was already 1AM so I sent a message to say goodnight with a response of whatever i texted you earlier I'm going to bed. The only time I've needed support from her and she's nowhere for me. I still feel for her strongly despite her being so selfish and distant. What should I do?
@rglunt,
I think you know what you need to do, it's all give and no recieve by the looks of it. Snap out of it and remember you did have a life before you met her.
/ David
@rglunt,
Do you love her still? What has been the extent of her illnesses. Have they been life threatening. She sounds pretty sick. You have been a great support to her. My suggestion is to tell her how you are feeling and say that now you need her support if she can give it. It sounds like both of you are nice people and you've had a run of really bad luck. The main question still stands. Do you love her through thick and thin. If she's being selfish, you need to point that out to her. Hope everything works out for you.
@DavidJSpetch,
@ David. Pretty harsh response. You don't know the extent of the girls sickness. There are extenuating circumstances all around. And I think he still loves her.
@WendyLou,
I do still love her. As for her illnesses her worst is hydro cephylis, not sure on the spelling, which is water on brain or her spinal fluid builds up in her skull causing preasure on the brain. There's no cure and only temporily fixed by putting a needle in the back of her head below the skull and into the brain to drain the fluid. It causes severe migraines and blackouts which is why her license was taken away. She also seems to catch a lot of respritory illnesses like bronchitis and pneuamonia. Currently her injury is something wrong with her chest. Drs said they think it's a seperation or laceration of the breast plate to the ribs. The last talk that we had was her telling me how she needs more space after spending a week with me having what I thought was a great time of watching movies playing board games and me trying to nurse her back to health. Turned my apartment into a spa for a few nights to try and relax her. I also made sure to to all the doctor recommended for her. My past record is I have trouble telling when it's over. I also don't have much relationship ending experience. I've been in 4 long term relationships that ended bad. I will try talking to her again hopefully tommorow today after she wakes up. Thank you for your advice.
Yes, it would appear she has PHYSICAL issues, but you said:
"I still feel for her strongly despite her being so selfish and distant."
As long as you feel this way, no one is going to say anything that might make you feel better or find a solution to this. Try to separate her physical problems from the way she treats you OR accept the entire package: someone with severe physical and emotional NEEDS and relationship issues - who is not able to comfort and support you when you need it.
Do you have the energy for all that? It's all about how you want to live.
@rglunt,
UPDATE: I called her this morning and the conversation was less then satisfying. She told me that she wants to do nothing with me until her chest injury has healed. Visting occasionaly was acceptable. She mentioned she won't be able to be there for me in any respect until she's done focusing on healing which may take a very long time considering that she's been injured for over 3 weeks now. I hate feeling so useless for her. As a man I should be able to provide and take care of loved ones but in that same respect when a man has trouble standing on his own 2 legs figuritively she should be there to comfort with at least a hug and some loving words.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace