Tue 11 Dec, 2012 06:29 pm
I fvcked up and I hope to be forgiven. I been at this job for a year now and by all accounts, I made great strides since I first started. Especially since a couple weeks ago when I really kicked it up a notch and watched everything I said and did. I mean everything, to the point of causing anxiety if I fall short of perfect. A few days ago, I slipped. She approached me on the sales floor and I forgot what she said exactly. Then I went, I love you. A second later, realizing my mistake, I immediately went, " sorry I prolly shouldn't have said that."
She went, " no ur fine. U just need to stop watching [some MTV shyt.]"
Now I'm worried like fvck. I return to work tomorrow and then this coming weekend. Wtf is gonna be the outcome? I embarrassed myself and possibly her, even though she didn't get mad or anything. Bc of anxiety, I cut myself and think suicidal thoughts at home. I slipped like that the day after she said I improved. Should I die?
Angel, love, you need help, you do not need to die.
We care about you.
Thx. It's mostly my worry that's killing me lol.
Breathe in, breathe out, and do it again.
Thx god I work tomorrow. And the coming weekend. Pls god make her forgive me.
Forgive yourself, girl.
The rest of us are no petunias either.
Part of your problem is your DRAMA. Settle down, it's not all about you, even if you think it is. She probably never even gave it a second thought.
So you told a person you loved them. So what?
If anyone says anything, just say you were kidding - or meant to tell them they were the greatest.
Why are you so ashamed? Is it because you feel it was a compulsive remark? At least this time it was a loving comment, unlike some of the others you have said to other people.
Try to relax and take things as they come.