Reply
Mon 10 Dec, 2012 07:28 pm
I am 23 years old, gay male and i been in a relationship with a guy who is 49.
We are been in a relationship for 10 months. We love each other, we sleep together every night in the same bed, we live together, we cuddle, we tell each other that we love each other., we touch, kiss, etc etc...
He claims he used to have a very active sex drive back in his days
but due to his drug addiction problems, it just destroyed his sex drive and desire for sex. We have never had sex before, He tried pills like Viagra etc we tried a few times to make it happen but he wouldn't get an erection I seen him tried few times, i seen him wanting to have sex with me but is just not happening. But yet my concern is that he still masterbates every now and then, he watched porn and masterbates. Which makes me to think all kinds of odd thoughts about him and also the fact that he is always telling me he doesn't want to be alone in life, now that i came into his life he doesn't and hes not going to let me go cus he doesn't wanna be alone. Which makes me to believe and think if hes using me? or does he really love me? or what?
He is a great person, hes sweet honest and noble. I love him i really do and he really loves me also. I am just very frustrated with this unique situation. I don't know what to do, or think. Please help me, i need advice and support.
He says he doesn't need to have a completely erection in order to masterbate so that is why hes able to masterbate. And yes i am gree with that but i am still convern about the whole thing. Hoe come he used to be a very active sexual person before but now hes not and he lost his desire for sex or ( testastrium level, how he calls it ) why? because of a drug use in the past? is that really why he cannot get an erection anymore? He claims he wants to go see a doctor, hes been telling me that for a while and still nothing. ell he says he has no money. But he still watches porn and masterbates......IS he wrong? am i wrong? should i be patient? does he really have a problem? maybe his age does causes an effect also? what should i do? PLEASE HELP ME THANK YOU.
@soda222,
Next time he masturbates, offer to help. And watch, and ask questions. Find out what he likes, what works. It may turn out that the two of you can have a relatively satisfying experience this way.
And keep urging him to see a doctor, to get his testosterone levels checked. Things do lose intensity as we age (this is true for both genders), but 49 is awfully young to be hanging up his cleats, if you know what I mean. Could it be drug-related? Possibly. Could it be treatable? Possibly. Only a physician will know for sure and your partner should be tested for all sorts of things that could be causing sexual dysfunction, including testicular cancer.