Infidelity turns to Love

Sure, I have a suggestion. But you won't like it. Unless and until you split with your wife, dump this other woman. Stay away from her until you decide what you want to do. Then be man enough to walk away from your marriage or stay away from the other woman.

As it stands now, I don't know if there is a word strong enough for me to use in describing your current actions. (If you were a woman, I'd call you a slut. So maybe a man-slut?) And you've been doing this for 10 years? How any woman would ever trust you from here on is beyond me.

hey,

She left her husband of 10years !! for you. she will leave you in less than a year. Someone here rightly said, if she is a slut, you're a man-slut. You both are in a Forbidden love, and forbidden always tastes good but turns into a poison in future.

My Suggestion - Dump this woman, who couldn't care for her husband of 10years, and stay with your wife who is the mother of your children. By the time you die when you become old, you will feel proud of this. Trust me.

Take Care and Walk in Wisdom.

The "other woman" divorced her husband FOR you and you ask what to do?

How on earth did things get THIS far?

No way our little group is going to solve this one.

I, for one, can't see a good way out of any action or non action. I feel sorry for all persons around you.

No kidding! There is no good solution to this. Whatever you do or don't do, somebody...make that several somebodies...are going to get hurt. Badly.

Sounds like your prolonged self-indulgence and dishonorable behavior have already caused a world of hurt. You've ripped apart your lover's husband's life. You don't say if they have children, but if they do, it's messed up their lives, too. You also don't say if your wife and/or children know about this other woman. I suspect you haven't been honest with them, either. Reading your post, it's all about you. You've rationalized your behavior by telling yourself that your infidelity is now "love." The truth is, you've created a huge mess, and now you're looking for the easiest way out.

Sorry. There isn't one.

I don't care how old you are. It's time for you to grow up. Face the facts, own your mistakes, and make decisions based on what is right for the most people involved...NOT just what makes you feel good. That's what got you into this mess to begin with. Like all adults, you will have to live with the consequences of your bad behavior. Unfortunately, so will others.

10 years turns to "comfort"...

I don't believe you know what the word love is, to be honest.

The lies and deceit don't bother you.. In fact you went as far as telling this woman that you were going to get a Divorce, consequently off she went and did her bit, but that was a lie, you had no intentions of doing so. The deceit of 10 years with your wife, who obviously is oblivious to all of this, continues her life "loving" you and sleeping with you, whilst you sleep with someone else.

You can not lie and be so deceitful to either and that is what you have done/ are doing to both women, and be in love with either woman.

Here is what will happen next.

You are going to get caught out and lose both and your children and going to feel discusted about you, so you probably will lose them too at least until they grow up into real Adults, if you have a daughter don't bet on her ever wanting to speak to you and don't bet on her every trusting the word Marriage either, she will be scared and scarred.

Why are you going to get caught? Because you lied too many times, the last lie to this woman about you divorcing your wife, is the lie that is going to create a nightmare for you in the very near future, as she comes to realisation that you lied, it was all a lie... And, all of these years she has been the one on the side, the one that didn't get to sleep with you every night, the one that was given promises that were never going to happen, the one that was told " I Love you, I am getting a divorce for you" that won't go through with it... She is going to feel bitter, angry and when she gets to the boiling point, your wife, friends, everyone is going to find out ...

Now how do you feel ? Because this is what you have created...

Sorry, sounds harsh but that's the reality of it.. Everyone gets caught out in a lie, eventually....

Off course, you could let her go, and let her try to mend her marriage that you took away from the other guy for 10 years... It won't make it right but it would make it the right decision, when someone does not belong to you and in addition you have someone who believes in you and loves you.

Tell your wife. Do it today. This is not your decision to make anymore. Your wife has been living a lie for ten years. TEN YEARS her whole life has been one big farce. Man up. Tell her NOW. Better to confess then be caught.

Do you lie to the other woman too? Be honest with us. You're safe here in your anonyminity. Do you lie to your affair partner? My guess would be yes. My guess would be you tell her you do not have a relationship with your wife any longer. You can not leave one relationship based on lies for another created from lies.

Time to blow your life up. Face up to your actions. Confess to your wife and let the chips fall where they may. Give your wife the dignity of choosing the path of her life on honesty not ten years of lies.

You probably consider yourself to be an honest person too oh except for just this one little thing. :/