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Sending flowers to say "I'm Sorry" ?

 
 
Reply Fri 30 Nov, 2012 09:17 am
The girl I was recently talking to and I stopped talking beginning of November. It didn't really end of the greatest of terms. We both happen to meet at the wrong points in our life. I sent her a nice text on Thanksgiving wish her a good one and she replied with the same and also stated she hoped the things I was going through personally (Family, Job, and whatnot.) in life were going better. I never responded back. I have seen her out and about a few times due to the fact we live in the same city. Each time there feels like an awkwardness or tension and I hate that... I am too stubborn to be the one to text first and strike up a convo, but I guess that's also me just letting my pride get in the way.

So I have decided to send flowers (Sending her favorite colors) without any expectations. I just want to clear the air of any tension of negativity and maybe one day her and I could talk and be friends or meet at a better time in our lives.

My question is... Am I doing the right thing sending these? Or am I making myself look desperate?
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 2,734 • Replies: 6
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 30 Nov, 2012 10:00 am
@Tigers11,
I was okay with the flowers right up until your last sentence.

Since you aren't really friends/close I think it would feel a bit weird.

Maybe try a note instead. And a real note. Not a text, and not an email. As in you, purchase a pretty card and you write that you're sorry and you hope that the two of you can get off onto a better foot. The new year is coming, and you'd like to start fresh.

You don't need to snail mail this. More like, you see her and you hand it to her.
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FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Nov, 2012 03:07 pm
@Tigers11,
In my opinion, if you "both" met at the wrong points in your life at the beginning of November, then you "still" are at the wrong points of your life now at the end of November.

Obviously there are alot of issues on hand for you at present, family, job, maybe even past baggage who knows but she knows it's there and I suspect this is what caused the ending of the beginning between you two or else she wouldn't have texted that comment of "hope things are getting better".

A few weeks is nothing. The fact that you still see her out and about, the fact you are stubborn is the reason you want to do something, as you don't like the tension however, your focusing on the wrong things. You need to sort out the problems you are facing so that there is no tension because then, you can get rid of the monkeys on your back, feel less stressed and actually smile at her. Which can lead to further conversation at that point including "yes, things are now looking up".. Who knows what may happen from there.

Give it a little time and concentrate on your issues at hand... then approach her and tell her face to face, "you are sorry".
Tigers11
 
  2  
Reply Fri 30 Nov, 2012 04:03 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
FOUND SOUL:

I didn't just meet her this month.. I met her a few months ago and that's when I was having my issues. It just escalated end of Oct/Nov... The majority of my issues I was dealing with, I am no longer... And I have no expectations of anything happening anytime soon with her, but at least she will know I am no longer upset with her...

I sent her flowers and she got them today.. She sent me a text saying "So that was very unnecessary, but nice. Thank you they are really pretty"

I feel a huge weight lifted and I feel good Smile
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Nov, 2012 04:23 pm
@Tigers11,
Tigers11 wrote:
I am too stubborn to be the one to text first and strike up a convo, but I guess that's also me just letting my pride get in the way.


This seems to be the place to start. Get over the pride, send the text, apologize for the long silence, say that things are on a more even keel now.

Flowers are ratcheting things up beyond what the situation calls for IMO. It's also a way to be a little grandiose and sidestep the pride issue. I think it's better to just meet the pride issue head-on and keep the scale reasonable.
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FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2012 12:57 am
@Tigers11,
You have to love the internet as you can only read what someone writes Smile

I'm pleased that the issues have passed to a good degree maybe that is why you felt you have been stubborn and gave in and sent the flowers anyway.

Seems like a good response and the main thing is you feel great and at peace now with it all.

Good for you. And, best wishes.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2012 09:00 am
So what happens the next time you have "difficulty" in your life? How will you handle it?

Best to deal with decreasing that pride-drive and your reactions, rather than trying to make up with someone who got in the way at a difficult time in your life.
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