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My husband is not interested to have kids

 
 
Reply Sun 25 Nov, 2012 03:50 pm
WE are married since 4 years, he is decent guy .He has very low sex drive.We sex once in 2-3 months or even less.He always use condom as he is scared that I shouldnt concieve.He gets tired in 2-3 mins.
I am really frustrated , I am 34 years old and i need kids.I feel depressed and disappointed. Donot know why he doesnt understand the importance of kids in life.
I also asked him regarding adopting a kid, but he is strongly against this idea , and feels if we adopt people will feel he is not capable...and keep promising tht soon we will plan our own kid.I do not know what to do.

I do not want to leave him..But am frustrated with this life.
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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 763 • Replies: 3
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HmmIwonder
 
  2  
Reply Mon 26 Nov, 2012 01:28 am
@linipain,
If you want kids and it's not even open for discussion with your husband then you need to seriously consider leaving.
Before you come to that conclusion though, you should talk to him. Sit down and have a real talk about how your feeling, how you want a child and how it makes you feel that you can't.
If the discussion comes to a dead end then you need to decide what is more important- this man or the possibility of having a child.
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 26 Nov, 2012 09:47 am
@linipain,
The kids/no kids question should have been settled before you wed. It is an absolute deal-breaker for most people.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Nov, 2012 10:04 am
@linipain,
Yes, like Jespah I was going to ask about what sorts of conversations you had about this before you got married, if any.

In re-reading, I noticed the sentence "keep promising that soon we will plan our own kid." So he has been telling you that he wants a kid, just not now? Is that right? How long, if so?

And do you know what his resistance is? There might be some sort of external circumstances that are changeable -- for example, maybe he lost his job since you got married and doesn't feel like he can support a child. Then you can address those concerns and maybe get somewhere.

But if there isn't a controllable factor like that -- if he just plain doesn't want kids and you really do want kids -- then it's probably time to establish that and move forward.
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