DELETED

Fred, you are a man doomed to flirt with chaos. Remember:

Be sure you're off with the old love before you're on with the new.

Fred, I have a hard time believing that on one hand, you can offer advice to a member who is in a relationship and wants to 'hook-up', and you said you felt that was wrong, and now you post this? My advice is to follow your own. It seems that it took some time to find a good woman, and you should hang on to that.

delted

Are you sure this wandering eye doesn't have something to do with the 40 day, 40 night bet you have with the new g/f? I know it's tough, but I would seriously try to get your mind off the ex. The new g/f sounds really good for you. Don't wreck it.

Fred--

Right now your heart--to say nothing of your self esteem--are both located in your crotch.

You're on the rebound from a long-term, bad relationship, but this does not give you the right to hurt someone else.

I doubt that your girlfriend's friend really needs "help" until 5 in the morning. If anything, after surgery, she needs her sleep. The two of you are setting up your friend-in-common for a double betrayal.

What are you going to tell her? Having sex with a Playboy bunny is just what my ego needs after a distructive relationship? Sex with a Playboy bunny whom you though was your friend has nothing to do with you? We were just meeting our needs?

Honestly, Fred. Your reasoning stinks--and your taste in women seems to lean towards unwholesome types.

Fred, just another thing to think about....if you are really bi-polar and have had problems with depression, I would see this a big warning sign of possible self-destructive behaviour patterns. I would be extremely cautious here, and really try to use your head to avoid entering another spiral.

DELETED

Well, that's pretty normal, Fred. I'm pretty sure most guys experience that. It's what you decide to do with those feelings that can change things for the worse in your current relationship.

Random associative thought-jump:

is that perhaps the real reason why you're holding out on having sex with your new girlfriend?

Fred--

Of course you are having feelings towards more than one woman right now. Because of the Rebound Effect you aren't necessarily thinking of these new women as people, youare thinking of them in relationship to yourself: as conquests, as admirers, as visible validation that your ex-girlfriend was a fool to let you go.

Rule of thumb--two years from breakup to recovery. Meanwhile, try not to hurt anyone.

Hold your dominion.

DELETED

Ah <nods>.

That sucks. I mean, er, you might need to come clean about that with her at some point in time ...

Explains a little better why you're able to keep up your bet, tho! ;-)

DELETED

<nods>

Don't give up, kid. Life can be overwhelming like that ...

Take care

nimh