very complicated break up confused ?

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My bf broke up with me a few days ago we were together for almost 2 years. he said he couldn't be with me anymore because of the problems he is going through in life and said he was unhappy in our relationship saying he didn't wanna drag me down with his problems. i tried to make him get relationship counseling cause his going through major depression and told me its best for us to break up. i don't get it he said he still loves me and never will stop loving me and told me to never bar him from his life which i never will he still wants me in his life. he said he wont be moving on for a long time. he then goes he saw me and him more as a soul mate best friend as bf and gf this dosnt make sense. i love him so much i cant stop thinking about him i miss him does this mean there is still a chance in the future

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@Pocahontas,

I do think there's a chance sometime in the future, if you are willing to wait some unspecified time for everything to work out for him. If you do want to wait till he gets everything resolved, then wait. It will be better if you don't feel obliged to wait, just because you think you owe it to him or the relationship. In relationships, you never owe more than what is owed to you.

He's going through some problems, and doesn't want to drag you down with him. Believe him. He's got something he needs to resolve. I think it's a shame he can't talk to you, and tell you more about this

What I'm saying is it's okay to wait awhile and see what happens. You don't have to, and if you get interested in someone else while he has you hanging around, that's okay, too.

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@roger,

Why should she be there for him when he's essentially told her to bugger off, with a few empty words about friendship, can't do without her, yadda, yadda, yadda?

When words & actions don't mix, always believe the actions. I think his actions say it all - he doesn't want to sort through his problems as a couple.

And when an action affects you deeply, look at what is good for your happiness - after all, he's told her he's no longer going to look after her happiness in the way she wants...so what, she's to stay miserably longing for him?

Self respect and self value would say, for herself, she shouldn't put up with such a situation.

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Why would he push you away?

1. He is depressed and can't handle any relationship now.
or
2. He wants to be free to explore other women.

If it's number 1,he needs counseling. Watch him to make sure he wants to get better. Otherwise, he will spiral down and be no good for you.

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@vikorr,

I very well did not tell her to either wait or 'be there for him'.

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@roger,

What's likely to happen if she waits? Of course the likely outcome is that she'll 'be there for him'

Quote:

I do think there's a chance sometime in the future, if you are willing to wait some unspecified time for everything to work out for him. If you do want to wait till he gets everything resolved, then wait. It will be better if you don't feel obliged to wait, just because you think you owe it to him or the relationship. In relationships, you never owe more than what is owed to you.

He's going through some problems, and doesn't want to drag you down with him. Believe him. He's got something he needs to resolve. I think it's a shame he can't talk to you, and tell you more about this

What I'm saying is it's okay to wait awhile and see what happens.

Qualified yes, but said many times, in conjunction of messages of hope - the message is the same - 'waiting isn't a bad idea' - ie. essentially wait.

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very complicated break up confused ?

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