Girls I would appreciate your advice?

Reply Sun 4 Nov, 2012 08:26 pm
I've been out with this particular girl a couple of times (1st: coffee, 2nd: I cooked her dinner) and I'm not sure whether she is interested or not?

She has never knocked back an offer to do something with me. Our first date lasted 2 hours and our second 4.5 hrs. She laughs and smiles quite a bit and there are rarely lulls in the conversation.

The only thing that is really bugging me is that she doesn't initiate messaging. She never fails to reply, but hasn't initiated. Is this a deal breaker?

Is there anything else I should look for that will definitively tell me!?
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 1,129 • Replies: 9
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Reply Sun 4 Nov, 2012 11:04 pm
Things to consider:
1) Is she just being nice and trying not to upset you
2) Does the relationship only go one way -->
3) She doesn't know much about you to talk about anything
4) You play a small role in her life and she doesn't bother that much
5) You're her second, and she's playing a two decks of cards at once
6) You're overthinking

From a guy's perspective, sorry~
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Reply Mon 5 Nov, 2012 12:31 pm
Some girls like to be chased, but this one does not seem to be "alive" enough for you.

Are you sure she's available to you? Maybe she just wants to be casual friends. Did you pick up any other "vibes"?

Move on. She is too passive for you (and probably a lot of other men)
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Reply Mon 5 Nov, 2012 01:44 pm
Go quiet on the texting and phoning stuff and see what she does, if anything. That'll tell you what you want to know.

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Reply Mon 5 Nov, 2012 02:42 pm
It's only two dates. She may feel that if she sends any messages to you yet, she will ruin it, as there will be no more chace from you.. You will know she likes you and 2hrs, then 4.5hrs and she always replies to your messages suggests that she does.

Go for the third date, a proper date out somewhere that shows you are serious, if off course you are...

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Reply Tue 6 Nov, 2012 06:35 pm
You clearly showed your interest. You clearly made real moves and now if you keep on doing this you'll look needy and things won't work out anyway.
The right thing to do is pretty simple. Don't contact her again and move on. If she comes back to you, escalate things and kiss her.
Reply Thu 8 Nov, 2012 12:43 am
woah man, he'll be accused of harassment
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Reply Mon 12 Nov, 2012 01:22 am
Don't worry. You don't have to take tension of that. Keep it up.
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Reply Mon 12 Nov, 2012 05:23 am
Err...there's so many variables that no one should be able to provide you with an answer.

Did you try and kiss her at the end of either of your dates? (the reaction will tell you something)
Did you try and create something more at any stage during the dates?
Did you initiate anything other than just talking?
Did you test how she reacts to your touch?
Did you try (after leaning in / showing interest etc), leaning away to see if she would lean forward towards you?

There's every possibility she may just be waiting for you to create something more, or there's every possibility that she's not that into you, and just enjoys your company - it's all the little things that will tell you - not the general detail you posted here.

How long does she hold eye contact with you for?
Do her pupils dilate when she looks at you? (this is actually one of the most telling signs, because it is completely involuntary)
Does she flirt?
Does she preen herself in any way (you should know what this is)
Where are her feet pointing?
Does she ever touch you (which is a positive because it is almost never accidental, though the absence of touch isn't necessarily a negative)
When she meets you for the first time (each time), does her breathing change in any way?
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Reply Wed 14 Nov, 2012 07:31 am
i think its too early to decide something.. may be she is playing hard to get at this time... after a date or two more.. stop doing message by yourself and wait for her, if she does! If she does, that's fine, and if not, you better move on!!!
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