Taking a break in the relationship?

Reply Wed 17 Oct, 2012 12:36 pm
Hey. Thanks for clicking on my question. My girlfriend (19) and I (20) go to the same college and have been dating for 9 months.

Over the last week we had some arguments and issues. Main reason for them is that she wasn't putting in as much effort in the relationship as I was. She was also forgetful of our plans. It made me unhappy I was the only one giving her gifts, planning surprise dates etc etc. She said she didn't want to see me suffer because of the things she doesn't do and isn't sure if she can be that type of girl for me even though she's trying hard.

Side info: I was her first boyfriend and took her virginity. She doesn't have any experience in relationships and is used to being selfish only looking after herself. While I am more selfless and try a lot to make her the happiest. I've also dated more.

On Sunday (the 14th) morning when I last saw her after we were discussing the relationship she said she'll text me later. She never did. I didn't hear from her at all for 48 hours. Then, her friend messaged me the other day saying stuff like "You guys should take a break. Focus on yourself, love yourself, improve yourself that's what she's doing. Give her time to think about this. Be positive not negative. Go home after classes cause if you stay on campus you'll think about her and that's not good cuz if you guys are gonna break up you'll have to eventually get over her. it's good you're giving her space" Clearly they have discussed the issue and I want to have a feel what my girlfriend is thinking/planning based on what her friend told me.

I am greatly upset my girlfriend didn't tell me this in my face or at least text me. But used her friend as a secretary to tell me what she wants.

Based on that information what do you think is happening/will happen? It's the 4th day since we don't talk and I have not seen her around campus or heard from her at all. I really wonder what's going on through her mind. What should I do? On the 21st is our 10 month anniversary. If she doesn't talk to me then is the relationship considered over? Unless she wants to be back together but really needs even more time than that. Or is this a strategy for her to break up easier? Cause she's a coward and feels awkward doing it right away and face to face?

P.S. Her facebook profile picture is still one of us together. And her relationship status hasn't changed
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Reply Wed 17 Oct, 2012 01:07 pm
i dont think she is being a coward for not wanting to see you hurt, she cares about you and doesn't want to see you hurt, your just over thinking it. just let the relationship flow if your completely being yourself and she still wants a break then it just isn't meant to be. thats all you can do be yourself and give yourself some time away from the relationship too
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Reply Wed 17 Oct, 2012 01:51 pm
I'm sorry to tell you this, but she is just discovering the world around her and wants to explore.

You should be exploring too. Both of you are too young to be so serious the first semester on campus. The breakup was inevitable.

If you two are meant to be, then she will come back.
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Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2012 08:25 pm
9 months is long term relationship.
What's in her mind is this: she is hesitating to stop this because she's young and hesitates to be single and have fun. You only live once.

You should give her as many space as possible. Don't call/text/fb her at all and don't talk to her friends. This is the best way to get her back if you want her back. The reason is: if you are mysterious and hard to get again, you will be attractive again.

There is also a possibility that she will end this because she really wants to live something different.
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Reply Tue 20 Nov, 2012 09:18 am
try giving a break to this relationship.. you are her first love, and she obviously trust you, she is just exploring world around her... let her hit herself once, and there is a chance she might come back to you to get that loving shoulder.. !!
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