It could be so many things! Personally speaking as a woman, stress/depression/finances/children/work/ all affect your love life. I work 50+ hrs per week and by the time I get home, cook , clean, bathe, eat and do anything else needed I am exhausted. If bills are stacking up and there is no light at the end of the tunnel it doesnt help either. Sex is the last thing on my mind. I also know that after a woman has children something changes in her sexual desires or at least it did for me. I felt fat, ugly, undesireable and the fact that kids in the house made it so that you had to be more careful about when and where sex could be had, there was no spontaneous moments and when the occasion arose it always seemed to get interupted. Now I sent my 17 year old out for the weekends just so we can have the place to ourselves and no room or piece of furniture is off limits. If she is home on the weekends we get a room someplace and again nothing off limits we do it all any way we can. Now I don't know if any of this is helping or not but I will tell you, she needs to know she is beautiful, she needs to know that no matter what you still find her sexy and attractive, you need to wine and dine her (in other words bring back the romance) hire a sitter and take her away for a weekend just the 2 of you and don't make it about you. She needs to know and feel special and she needs to know that no matter how bad things are or seem to be, everything will be fine and you are always going to be there by her side fighting the the same fight with her not against her. There is always an underlying issue - such as; maybe she does'nt feel you are helping enough, you don't understand her, you don't know her needs, you're not spending enough quality time with her (intimacy) not making it about the sex. There is a reason you were attracted to one another and somewhere along the line it was lost and you need to find out what it was and find out if it still exists. my initial attraction to my husband was his mind. Which is now my motto "stimulate my mind and my heart will follow" and if I am stimulated guess what I get turned on, if I get turned on well , no need to get into details. Marriage was never intended to be easy, I believe that. It seems like people are quick to marry and at the first sign of trouble they divorce or they don't marry at all they just date or live in long term so its easier to walk away and avoid commitment.. Marriage is a union of 2 people combining their lives not living the others. (2 individuals joining in a union because they make each other happy/ not 2 individuals giving up what makes them happy to please the other person they love. Im not speaking of compromises that is necessary. I mean becoming co-dependent on the other or trying to control each others lives) I believe that the fact you are still together is not only for the kids but because you love each other, now you need to do is talk "not yell/argue" about what has caused this physical/sexual distance. It is not too late, I believe a marriage is like a job , as long as you are working at it, keeping the lines of communication open, and doing things to improve the relationship that you can have a lifetime of happiness and benefits. That being said, talk about your sexual needs, it is not fair for either of you to feel as if you have to self-please or look outside of your relationship to get satisfaction. Maybe try something new, maybe she has a sexual desire you cannot or do not fulfill, make it happen and she will love you for it. If your penis is small that should'nt be a problem there are other ways to compensate. Be a little more aggressive, make it a little more rough, instead of being slow and loving all the time, start that way and work it up to a deep hard thrusting, spank her ass or use your fingers and you have hands, a tongue (use it in her vagina /in her ass /oh believe it or not the tits love some serious action too) hold one in both hands and suck on her tits/nipples hard and fast like your sucking a popscicle, and hey here's an idea try some dildos or vibrators. If she is a willing partner that is., and if not because it is un-natural maybe discuss a 3rd party to come in to meet her needs but only if you have a strong relationship otherwise you could be asking for more trouble. Well I hope I've been of some help, I wish you luck buddy! (BTW don't doubt yourself as a man, mine has a small penis too and we have an AMAZING sex life) its all in how you approach the event taking place.