Problems in bed

I am going to assume (and perhaps I am wrong in this assumption) that you liked it at least once. Even if not with your husband - just - one time (and perhaps several times) it was great.

So hearken back, in your mind, to those times. What was great about them? Location? Foreplay? What you, specifically, did? Maybe a Hawaiian vacation got you worked up. Then go on vacation. Maybe extensive oral foreplay did it for you. Then find a way to communicate that to your husband. Maybe it was you being aggressive and initiating. Then do so.

But I think much more of an issue is the communications aspect of it all. Can you talk to your husband about other things? Can you make your needs known in other areas of life? E. g. when you ask him to take out the trash, or pick up the kids from school, does he do it? Or does he blow you off? And if he doesn't do as you ask, can you get what you want effectively, or do you just end up doing everything yourself? Because assertiveness (or its lack) can carry over from one area to another. If you feel you can't talk to him about emptying the dishwasher, I can see where it would be difficult if not impossible to discuss sexual performance.

And also - if a discussion of who gets to take the car in for service cannot be done with a screaming match or without you immediately conceding, my suggestion would be counseling. You should be able to communicate in a marriage, and that should be about all things.

This is Really big problem. You have to discuss with your husband on this topic. You have to full right to live your life your way.

You have to tell him that what are you feel for him . You have to face him.

10 years? three kids?

Lady, you and your man need a vacation -

Pack him up and take him on a romantic overnite or weekend.

You need to get away from it all and then concentrate on each other.