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Tue 2 Mar, 2004 10:30 am
Some will love this opinion; others will hate it. Why? ---BBB
Doctor prescribes cheating to remedy dull sex
A German psychologist has concluded long-term relationships and good sex are "an impossible combination."
Dr Michael Mary says following years of research as a sex therapist in Berlin he has found trying to continue having satisfying sex in an exclusive relationship is futile.
His recipe for getting boring love life going again is to cheat on your partner.
He said: "It is impossible to get everything together. To have trust and harmony and at the same time the level of passion and desire one experiences on the first day simply doesn't exist."
Dr Mary, who has recently published a book called "Five Lies Concerning Love", also warned that putting a lot of effort into working towards creating a fulfilled sex life in long-term relationships was for nothing.
He stated: "It is better to accept living with the discrepancy between sexual desire and long-term love."
It's like that saying:
"Show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a guy who is sick of f***ing her."
I am single, but I think that if you are going to be in a long-term relationship, you have to accept that sex is not going to be great (or maybe not even good) forever. You can spice it up all you want, but it's still not the same thrill as it was in the beginning.
This is possibly more true for men than women though.
thanks eva...nothing to add...llooll
Speaking as someone who has been with the same partner for more than twenty years now...the excitement of "the first time" is something you can never recapture, it's true. And everyone fantasizes about that! But what you lose in novelty, you gain in experience and intimacy. You lose the awkwardness, and you learn exactly how to please the other person. We are MUCH better sexual partners now than in the early years of our marriage. Much more satisfying for both of us, if not quite as electric.
Quote:A German psychologist has concluded long-term relationships and good sex are "an impossible combination."
I can personally vouch for the fact that this shrink is FOS.
I wonder if Dr. Phil knows Dr. Mary.