My boyfriend is ticked at me...What should I do?

Alright, so you love him, and he's angry at you, and you want to make it better, right?

But have you done anything wrong? Is it wrong to be cautious - given your past experience? Shouldn't he be able to understand that, and have empathy for you?

Do you feel he's being pushy? Are you comfortable with that? Does he respect the discomfort he's causing you by being pushy?

Is it all about him? Is it all about you? Should there somehow be a balance, and a stand on what respect entails?
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Can you make this better by (effectively) saying 'alright, you can push me around, bully me, disrespect my feelings and not even bother trying to put yourself in my shoes'?

...is it possible, do you think?

...now, if you stood up for yourself - his reply could be something like 'damn, aren't you self centred - you aren't considering my feelings, you aren't considering the embarassment and hurt you are causing me, and you have the hide to say 'it's all about me'.... Would that be true?

The truth of the matter is that both should respect the other, and have empathy for their individual needs...

....and when 'emotional needs' conflict, you need to be considerate & respectful of the others emotional needs, while doing what is good for your emotional health - ie. if you don't respect yourself, no one else will (him included). See - giving in is basically saying 'your emotions are more important than mine / you deserve more respect than me'....this sort of thing really screws with your mind. I'd advise only doing so in extreme situations (which isn't the case in your scenario) with a longer term view where you discuss what went wrong, and your side of the story. Parent/Child type relationships are of course, a different matter.

Or in another way - when no one else is looking after your happiness / self-respect etc...then the only person left to look after them is you.

Always show respect your needs. Always understand & respect others needs as best you can.
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Personally, from what you've said, your boyfriend may need to grow up a bit...but still try to understand where he's coming from, while standing firm on what you need at this moment.

I'd suggest telling him the truth. Have you told him about your past experience? Why you are scared?

And on the flip side, let me tell you my experience (maybe it will make you braver). I had an experience like that. I dated a guy for around 7 - 8 years. His parents didn't like me. My friend would tell me - I don't understand why they wouldn't like you - you are responsible, self-sufficient, polite, etc. Basically the type of person a parent should like. I figured it out years later, they really wouldn't like anyone as they wanted to keep their son for themselves.

Anyone as expected we finally broke it off - so I met another guy. To me this was an even worse situation as the first time I was to meet his parents, they had just found out he was going to move across country to be with me. I was terrified. You know what? They were the nicest people and so kind to me. I was fearful for no reason whatsoever.

Could you ask your boyfriend about them? Maybe knowing a bit more would help ease the fear?

How long have you been going out and how serious are you with your boyfriend? If you have been going out for a month, he's being awfully pushy. If you have been going out for two years and are talking marriage, he's got a point. I assume you are somewhere in between. Rather than jump into the deep end of being the outsider at Thanksgiving, you might do better meeting people at a slower pace. Does he have a sibling you could meet (or invite over) for dinner? Can you meet his parents at some neutral location where you can escape after an hour if things are tense? Depending on the family, Thanksgiving can be stressful even when you know everyone. I'm for working up to it, but you need to start soon if you want to give it a fair chance.

I was older than you apparently are (by your user name) when I married. His parents were wildly against me, because I was not of their religion and because I was older than he was. They didn't come to the wedding. Just as well, we were having a small wedding anyway, and without them there was no tension.

Years went by and they got to gradually like and then accept me in their family, the father more than the mother, but even she did somewhat; the brother always did. I wouldn't say the parents loved me. I was a grown woman, fine at the beginning of all that, and fine as years went by.

So... I think you need to so some thinking about who you are in relation to other people. So what if they don't accept you? Presumably your boyfriend does. Or maybe not, maybe he is hingeing his interest in you on how you get along with his parents. If so, I'd be chary.

Adds - my perspective is from being in the U.S. and not from a subculture in which the parental view is highly important.