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Fri 28 Sep, 2012 08:26 pm
My ex and I are both seniors in high school right now and we dated in our freshman and sophomore years, from Feb of 2010 to Feb of 2011, so its been quite a while since we broke up. Our relationship after the breakup has been an emotional roller coaster ride, mostly due to my instability at the beginning, but was definitely her fault later on.
We went from being on talking terms to non talking terms to friends to not friends and now friends again in these past 19 months. I don't want to put too much emphasis on who said what in the past because I believe it is past both of us and our feelings have definitely changed.
We recently became friends again a few weeks ago after she emailed me and apologized for her erratic behavior (I had asked her to hang out back in July and she had a random panic attack). She explained that the reason for her behavior was because she didn't know how to act whenever she was around me due to the fact that she didn't know if she wanted to love someone.
I accepted her apology (not too happy though...if she pulls another stunt like that I'd have to think twice about giving her another chance) and now we've built back up our friendship. She drives me to school once a week now and we text occasionally.
However, two days ago something really weird happened. It was early dismissal at our school so I asked her for a ride home. She agreed and we ended up picking up some food on the way home. In her car, I asked her if she wanted to hang out since she wasn't busy that afternoon and she agreed.
I initially planned to hang out at the park next to our houses (we live really close) but the park was being used so I asked her if she wanted to come over (not really expecting yes for an answer, since I figured she might find it awkward). She said yes again. At this point I was pretty surprised so I texted a mutual friend and invited him over so it wouldn't be too awkward.
The three of us ended up playing wii for two hours before my friend had to leave. After he left, my ex went up to my room with me and we just hung out for a good hour...we played video games and she was playing around with my airsoft gun. When she had to leave I gave her a really big hug.
This may sound cheesy, but during those three hours she acted almost exactly like she way she did back when we were still dating and for a few seconds I almost forgot that we weren't together. This is only the second time that we've hung out since we broke up and that other time was for like 20 minutes and felt really awkward.
I understand that her behavior has been erratic, always going up and down, but she has never been this comfortable around me in a long time and the last time she was even at my house was when we were dating.
Now, I hate to speculate and overanalyze because it raises hope and causes unnecessary worry, but in my book, any girl that hangs out with her ex boyfriend in his house (in his room too) for hours still likes him to some degree. Any thoughts?
Just because she is easy in your company and relaxed, that does NOT necessarily mean that she wants to restart a girfriend/boyfriend relationship.
If you are curious, ask her.
@rlt13,
more likely she is having fun playing with you...she expects that you will take this as a hint to come after her, and after you take the bait she will stomp on your heart.
Easy goes it big boy.....
@hawkeye10,
That's no reason not to go after her...just don't take it seriously (ie treat it as a bit of fun to find out) until you find out whether or not there is something in it for both of you.
@hawkeye10,
sounds like you have a lot of experiences with women who do that kind of stuff to you. i can say with 100% certainty that my ex is not purposely screwing with me. she has screwed with me before but that's because she hasnt quite matured yet. neither have i actually, we're both still kids in the grand scheme.
i appreciate your insight, but my ex is not deliberately trying to hurt me. i have never given her a reason to do that
@contrex,
its a little more complicated than that, im afraid :/
when i didnt see her over the summer, i honestly thought that i stopped liking her. therefore when we became friends again a couple weeks ago, i told her i didnt like her anymore. when i saw her again, all those old feelings came flooding back.
so unfortunately i dont think i can come out and discuss this so directly with her right now. maybe in the near future.
@vikorr,
vikorr wrote:
That's no reason not to go after her...just don't take it seriously (ie treat it as a bit of fun to find out) until you find out whether or not there is something in it for both of you.
exactly. two can play....
@hawkeye10,
well first we have to assume that she's "playing".
im not gonna jump on that wagon till i see more proof. and yes i know women are unreasonable...ive started noticing that over the last 19 months. but since im giving her one last chance at being friends, i figure i should give her the benefit of the doubt.
@rlt13,
Quote:i told her i didnt like her anymore.
it appears that the phrase "I dont like you" does not mean what it used to mean, as under the old def these were people that we did not want to hang with, did not want to invite to our bedrooms, and did not want to hug. Do you also **** people that you dont like...I am just curious how far this goes.
@hawkeye10,
the rest of that comment you are quoting mentions how my feelings changed when i saw her again.
and as a side note, i did not invite her to my bedroom. she stopped playing wii to follow me upstairs
@rlt13,
Quote: i did not invite her to my bedroom. she stopped playing wii to follow me upstairs
so she invited herself, that is even better.
if you want her then go try to get her, you can try to talk to her and get answers about what she wants but that rarely works. this is playtime......go have fun, and stop thinking so much.
@hawkeye10,
im a deep thinker though
ill try to stop thinking so much, thanks
@rlt13,
rlt13 wrote:
im a deep thinker though
ill try to stop thinking so much, thanks
if you ever intend to get anywhere in life you need to start using the right tool for the job. the rational mind is rarely the right tool to direct your love life.
You two have a history, so yes, she would follow you up to your room and "hang out" comfortably. Don't read any more into this than just that.
She will let you know if she wants to escalate the relationship. Watch for the signals.
But if you can't wait, then ASK her if she enjoyed hanging with you and if she'd consider spending more time with you.
@contrex,
I don't think that she love you at all.
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