You are making things worse.

If you want civility in politics; if you want people to avoid using cheap shots and hateful stereotypes, then you need to have a system where there is a penalty for bad behavior and a reward for good behavior.

So why do people insist so strongly, as if it is a principle of religious faith, that both sides are the same when it comes to incivility or bigotry?

Having the same penalty as your opponent is no penalty at all. If there is no penalty for being uncivil whats to keep you from being uncivil (particularly when it is an advantage with a percentage of voters). If you are going to be penalized the same as your opponent even when you show restraint, then showing restraint is crazy.

Then there is the game when one side keeps crossing the line with gross slurs, racial stereotypes conspiracy theories and then scouring every word of the other side for some comment they can say is equivalent.

A blind insistence of balance favors bad behavior.

Accountability encourages good behavior and is more important than a fictional balance. And accountability is truth.

Let's stop pretending that the two sides are equivalent here when it comes to race baiting, conspiracy theories, voter suppression or divisiveness. Unless of course, you want to encourage this kind of thing.