Girl Confusion

Reply Thu 6 Sep, 2012 03:45 pm
Hey everyone,

School has started up again, and likewise, so have my girl confusions. There is this girl I like, and I get mixed signals from her. I would appreciate any help you guys could give me on deciphering this.

In the last week of school last year I got her number and we started texting a bit. On the last day of school I asked her (in person) if she'd like to go to the movies with me sometime over the summer and she said "Um I'm not sure I don't know my plans for summer yet let me get back to you on that". I took this as a no because she is a nicer girl and I can see her giving someone a no like that indirectly.

Well, surprisingly, I actually got a text from her the next day saying when she was available for the first week or two of summer. Well, unfortunately, we never ended up being available at the same time throughout all of summer. Major bummer. With a day or two left until school started up again we started texting some more and complaining about school and talking about summer and all that stuff. Now, we are both in 10th grade and school has started again.

Now, this is where I'm confused. She's shy, and I'm shy. She does that classic look over and when I notice quickly turn around thing. When I walk by her in the hall I usually will get a glance from her. When I got off the bus yesterday I turned around to say bye to one of my friends and noticed her looking at me. And then today I was talking to one of my girl friends on the bus and the girl I like was sitting directly in front of me with one of her friends. When I got off the bus and passed their seat I swear I heard her friend say my name, so I was kind of surprised.

But, she also takes a LONG time to respond (texting). Sometimes we'll have a few texts back and forth within a few minutes, but it usually takes her 20 minutes to 2 hours to respond.

What do you all make of this? Do you think she likes me? Any advice? Any responses will be appreciated.
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Reply Thu 6 Sep, 2012 04:42 pm
Ah - the memories . . . . teenage angst . . .

Well, you are interacting appropriately with this gal.

Give her time to respond to your texts.

You need to start TALKING to her in person. Ask something about school and then just talk to her. Or ask her to go with a group to a school event.

This should all be fun. Make it fun - or move on to another girl.
Reply Thu 6 Sep, 2012 04:47 pm
Hard to say.

There is definitely some flirting behavior going on. But some of the other behavior is, like you say, mixed. I don't really read anything into people taking a while to text back but it could be an indication of divided attention.

I say try again to ask her out. No messing around. Just, are you free Saturday night? I'm going to the movies (or wherever) and I hope you can come along. From this you will get yes, no, maybe or I'm not sure.

Yes = great!
No = is it no forever or no, not now?
Maybe = is it a scheduling thing? An activity thing? Ask if she'd prefer something else. I am suggesting that you make a clear plan and ask her to come along, versus just opening up the floor for discussion about what to do, but you can fall back on that if you must. I think this sort of thing should be more decisive (and I feel indecision kind of killed things off over the summer for you), and having a clear plan can do that, but it can also backfire.
I'm not sure = almost the same thing as maybe. That's more likely to be a scheduling thing. Offer alternatives. Is Saturday no good? How about Sunday? You've already seen the film? How about coffee?

But recognize that she might just be casting about clumsily for some way to let you down easily. She may not have enough social skills to be able to do that well.
Reply Thu 6 Sep, 2012 04:59 pm
But if she's busy for the first eight dates and times you suggest.... take the hint.
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Reply Sat 15 Sep, 2012 07:14 pm
I'm wicked shy though and it seems like she's always with her friends or I'm always with my friends, so talking in person is a bit of an issue. I mean, I agree it would help move things along but I just can't get past my shyness/timidness to actually do it.
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