Reply
Thu 6 Sep, 2012 04:30 am
Right, so I am 22, male and I am still a virgin. I’ve been having interest from girls and shown a kind of interest for them myself also (yes i am straight), but the actual thing of having sex doesn’t seem to interest me. I enjoy the kind of initial wordplay and as far as I am aware my desires are just as anyone else’s, but as soon as it seems things get purely sex related and therefor the happening of sex cannot be “avoided” I am not interested anymore (at this point girls probably have lost their interest in me themselves as well...)
Also, those that attract me the most I may stay away from emotionally more, just because I know whenever emotion becomes dominant over my thinking, I may not be able to hold myself back.
To me it seems a kind of wanting to be in control thing but I don't know if there could be anything else involved here?
I know not wanting sex whenever there is an opportunity of having it may sound strange to some, and I am a little confused with myself experiencing this, so any ideas on how to change this attitude or just what may be a cause for this thinking are appreciated!
P.s I am not aware of having any disorders or mental disfunctioning, if that would make a difference.
@clark123,
clark123 wrote:
Right, so I am 22, male and I am still a virgin. I’ve been having interest from girls and shown a kind of interest for them myself also (yes i am straight), but the actual thing of having sex doesn’t seem to interest me. I enjoy the kind of initial wordplay and as far as I am aware my desires are just as anyone else’s, but as soon as it seems things get purely sex related and therefor the happening of sex cannot be “avoided” I am not interested anymore (at this point girls probably have lost their interest in me themselves as well...)
Also, those that attract me the most I may stay away from emotionally more, just because I know whenever emotion becomes dominant over my thinking, I may not be able to hold myself back.
To me it seems a kind of wanting to be in control thing but I don't know if there could be anything else involved here?
I know not wanting sex whenever there is an opportunity of having it may sound strange to some, and I am a little confused with myself experiencing this, so any ideas on how to change this attitude or just what may be a cause for this thinking are appreciated!
P.s I am not aware of having any disorders or mental disfunctioning, if that would make a difference.
To me it seems like you have performance anxiety. I don't think you are not interested, I think you just tell yourself this to feel better about being apprehensive. The key that suggests this is true is when you talk about being in control. If you are not sure what to do, then you lack the control that you want or feel is necessary. So rather than continue you stop yourself because you are not sure how to precede.
I think you will become very interested when the right girl comes along.
So try to take it easy and enjoy being with girls and someone special will come along - and nature will take its course.
Don't worry about it so much. It will be wonderful and exciting and it's all meant to be that way. Relax, so you can enjoy the feelings, whatever they are.
@clark123,
Quote:but as soon as it seems things get purely sex related and therefor the happening of sex cannot be “avoided” I am not interested anymore
Quote:Also, those that attract me the most I may stay away from emotionally more, just because I know whenever emotion becomes dominant over my thinking, I may not be able to hold myself back.
You are not attracted to girls that see you in a sexual context...
Yet, you can look at a girl and find her attractive and actually want to persue the sexual side of things but back off.
It sounds as if you want to hold out for the right one, being a male makes no difference in that regard and don't want to just lose it to anyone, just because.
There is nothing wrong with that but you have to form relationships with someone you like and find attractive inside and out and take your time... Women don't care that you are 22 and a Virgin, only those that purely want sex only.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace