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Tue 28 Aug, 2012 03:10 am
1 year ago, I got to know this guy really well, and we had a really special connection. However, he had to move states for work. Before he left, I told him I liked him, and he said he didn't like me back. I was crushed. We tried to keep a long distance friendship, but I was really hurt because I was sure he liked me. Finally, months later, he said "I did have feelings for you. I lied and said I didn't because I wanted you to be able to move on when I left".
We tried to continue with our friendship, but we fought a lot. He would also get jealous when he thought I was dating other guys and he'd get really interested in my love life, but when I asked him the reason for his behaviour, he would get really defensive and tell me that it definitely wasn't because he liked me as more than a friend. Recently he stopped talking to me out of nowhere. I gave him space for about 3 weeks, and he still didn't talk to me. Finally I tried to call him, and he picked up. He answered the phone normally, but when he heard my voice, he said nothing for about 3 minutes. He was just dead silent. His voice sounded like he'd seen a ghost. He sounded like he'd rather hear from anyone but me. The silence dragged on and on. He then said he couldn't deal with it, and hung up. A few days later he sent me an email saying he was ending our friendship, and that he "couldn't have another year of it". I'm really hurt, because even though we had arguments (mainly about the fact that he would always get jealous about other guys, and then get defensive when I questioned him about it) but deep down I thought he cared about me. Please help me understand. He is 22.
@jordygirl1414,
I'm trying to understand why you can't understand this.
You're far apart. You fought. It was too much for him, and he told you this. He told you he wanted to be done with it. He also attempted (in a rather passive-aggressive fashion, I might add) to just end things by not calling anymore.
He is done. If you give a damn at all about his feelings, you will respect his wish to distance himself, and you will move on from this, like you should have a year ago, and like he tried to give you the opportunity to do.
A year ago.
Sounds like he feels that if he can't be your boyfriend, he does not even want to be casual friends.
So that's it. It would be too hard for him to be friends across the miles.
I know this hurts, but you must let him go completely.
How old are you, Jordy?
@jordygirl1414,
You need a real man who will NEVER leave you. Forget him, raise your self esteem and expectations from men. Give up on boys, and go after a man, who is interested, who is close, who treats you with respect, and would not and could not possibly tell you ever, that he is not interested in you. Demand to be treated as a priority. Demand to be courted, and do not allow anyone to take you for granted.
i would say put the past behind and move on. don't get too attached to whatever you cannot change
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