BF Moving In - How to split expenses fairly with my child there p/t?

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I own a 4 br/ 2 ba home and my brother and his gf currently rent a room from me for $400/ mo total, including utilities. It's been somewhat difficult at times to live with my brother (I am 29 with a daughter 1/2 the time and he is 25), but it helped me out in the beginning, and him as well. I have since received a raise that would cover this amount they pay and could do without him living there for the constant stress I have of leaving water running, losing and breaking things, the furniture getting ruined by his cat....I pay $802 mortgage and about $350 utilities currently, including water, gas, power, and cable. My boyfriend and I have decided that it is time for him to make the move and since he rents, it will be him moving in with me. My brother and his gf are looking for a place of their own and planning to move out soon. In the meantime, my boyfriend has offered $300 total to live with me and have that go towards the extra groceries as well. I know that in his mind they have their own room for $400 and pay for their own groceries, and he will be sharing a space with me (though the 4th bedroom will be his study/ office space as I thought him having a separate space was a good move), but I'm not sure if $100 more in groceries $200 more a month towards household seems fair. To him, they already pay 1/2 the mortgage, and this seems fair (he is kind and loving and I know he's not trying to get off cheaply, but be fair to us both. He is also 24, although more mature in every way than most 30 year olds I know.) I'm not trying to do anything unfair and am having a hard time figuring out if he is right or if it should be more. I also don't know how to go about it after they move out and it is just me and him and my daughter p/t. It didn't sound like he wanted to split everything 50/50 then since my daughter has her own share of groceries that only she eats, as well. As a side note, I do make less than he does and also do not receive child support or marital support. Any suggestions?

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@karebear1121,

Ok, let me see if I have this correct. You currently pay 802 for mortgage and 350 for all utilities. You need to add food to this, so lets say food for you and the boyfriend and your daughter will run 800/month (I'm going low with this estimate.) So he wants to move in and pay you $300 toward your $1,952.00 worth of expenses. Your brother pays you $400 simply for the use of a room and boyfriend figures he should pay less because he is sharing a room with you??? I think you should offer one of the following.

1. A 50-50 split of the expenses after deducting for your brother's contribution. This would amount to your boyfriend paying $776/month. And when your brother moves out he should split the entire amount with you, making his payment $976/month. (Maybe you could be nice and just keep it at $776 since your daughter is there part time with you.)
OR
2. Since he believes he deserves a discount for sharing a room with you, charge him the going rate each time the two of you have sex. I mean, fair is fair. He is getting sexual favors from you without the commitment of marriage, so you should be compensated for that, right?

Ok, number 2 was somewhat in jest, but only $300/month means he gets off cheap and down the road if the two of you part ways he will have built himself a nice little nestegg at your expense. And gotten laid regularly while doing so. Sweet deal. You might think he is not trying to get off cheaply, but he is.

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@karebear1121,

Quibbling over dollars and cents is a waste of everyone's time - tell him that he'd need to pay as close to half as he can afford, and as he makes more money over time, that amount would go up.

If he can't agree to that now, he's probably not a great long-term choice.

Cycloptichorn

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@karebear1121,

Why not wait til your brother and his gf are gone before having your boyfriend move in. Let your bf know that he will be picking up 50% of the utilities + 25 - 30% of the mortgage + 50% of the total grocery cost when he moves in.

Money is a big dealbreaker for couples and it's good to know upfront whether he's ready to be your partner.

How much do your daughter-only foods cost in a month?

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@ehBeth,

I think this is fair and agreed, I'd wait until your brother moves out. It just add another stresser to you. Half the utilities and less on the mortgage. You should split the food 50% but less whatever you pay extra for your daughter. If that is too difficult, just split the food by 1/3.

It shouldn't even matter what you charged your brother. Different situation. Same as it shouldn't matter how much he makes vs you - you should pay for expenses as fairly as possible.

I'd say looking at the numbers, he should pay $600 - $650 month. Curious what is he now paying for rent? If he pays any where more than this per month he should agree - he'd still be saving money and having his sweetheart right there with him. To me that would be a win-win. If he pays less then depending how much less, you may negiotate how much he pays now.

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@Linkat,

The other thing I meant to mention, make sure you both resolve this before moving in together and before he ends his lease/rental. You need to be as clear as possible on both ends with no misunderstandings.

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@karebear1121,

I'd keep food and rent separate.

Also at some point after living together you'll likely have joint car insurance which should be separate from the rent.

Been living with my gf for 7 years, I pay $500/mo rent, her mortgage is $1500/mo and we rent out the basement for $650/mo. I pay more than half of groceries. She pays the car insurance.

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BF Moving In - How to split expenses fairly with my child there p/t?

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