@edgarblythe,
Quote:When you have a natural biological urge to fart I would hope you would get away from the crowd, spendi.
It's an interesting subject ed. In some social gatherings I must admit that I take the risk of becoming neurotic about my sphincter control, which I gather my parents taught me to stop my production of ****-filled nappies, but I compensate in other social gatherings in order to counteract the effects. It's one of the reasons I keep most of my company with a select few. What restraints I impose on myself on more formal occasions I feel is due to my profound respect for my fellow man and ladies of distinction and delicate refinement.
I read a scientific survey which said that men fart 35 times a day and ladies only 30. Once I imparted this startling information to my pals they took to shouting out a number after ripping one off. As it was usually late in the day when I was socialising it was something like 29 or 32. Once one of them shouted "one" and on being challenged about it he pointed to the clock which showed 2 minutes after midnight and claimed that a new day was upon us.
My favourite is "fall out the oficers" but those who don't know any body who was with Monty's Desert Rats when they reached Alexandria after a seriously trying march, will probably not appreciate the allusion.
I've already told the tale of the fart machine which the daughter of one of the regulars had borrowed off a friend in the ballet lessons. It worked on remote control at up to 100 feet or so, Radio waves, or electro magnetic radiations, which some foolish people think they understand just because of knowing what they can be made to do.
So I won't bore you with that again and besides, this post has already gone on longer that I intended it to do when I started it.
Although I ought to add that if The Library of Congress is going to licence movies which depict mature ladies taking on four athletic young men then it is not surprising that a few of the more spirited lasses might take a fancy to trying it. I know I would if I was a good looking 26 year old lady with access to a football team.
A creative writer might try to imagine the best words to describe the scene, and the relevant antecedents, in which the idea of a fivesome, including Miss, first crystallised as a go-er.