ok the tongues thing. first yes its real. second while it is a evidence of the Holy Spirit it isnt nessecary for salvation. If u have the Holy Spirit (which is any real christian) u can do it, but some either dont or think they cant. i use this metaphor.
the bible describes us as babes in Christ. well what can lil kids do already but just dont know how to: swim. all little children can swim. its just they dont know how to. you can prolly speak in tongues all u want u just dont know how to control it. i was a christian for well over a year before the Holy Spirit literally sat me down on my bed and taught me how to do it.
Now what id do if i was u was forget the tongues thing for the moment. id pray for love encounters with God. They are available and God wants to hand them out for free. all u gotta do is ask. This will open up sooooo much intimacy with God u wont know what to do with it.
Get intimate with the Holy Spirit. Jesus literally says that eternal life is knowing the Father and Himself and the Holy Spirit. john 17:3
also give john 17:23 a read - basically says u are loved by the Father as much as the Father loves Jesus.
phil 4:1- read as if Jesus is speaking right to u. u may say that i am taking it outta context cuz its paul writting that but did not paul also say that Every word of script is good for edification etc etc. and also its not like thats something God wouldnt say to u i mean He loves u enuff to die for u.
Psalms 18- look at the jealousy of the Lord for u. For U persoanlly.