Religion - (Christianity) Please Help...!

Q. What do you give a paedophile who has everything?

A. A bigger parish.

When an adult has an invisible, imaginary friend, we say he's crazy. If a thousand people have the same invisible, imaginary friend, it's a religion.

The version I've heard is 1 - crazy, 1000 - cult, 1000 000 - religion. Very true.

I was paraphrasing. Y'know, sometimes I imagine either aliens coming to earth or earthlings visiting aliens and what sort of reaction the aliens (whom I imagine to be far more rational than us, on average) would have when someone tried to convert them to a religion. Sometimes I imagine them putting the religious person into a psychiatric treatment ward, sometimes I imagine them deciding that we're not worthy of their time of day, but usually I just imagine them laughing their asses off and pointing at the primitives.

Pity there's no "like" button on these posts.

You can use the thumbs up or the thumbs down.

****, I was already ugly, and getting fat, now I'm going blind too?

The aging process is a bitch, ain't it?

New job isn't helping. The Aussie dollar was killing the industry that I'd worked in for 29 years, so I took the redundancy. Went on a 2 week holiday. Came back and sent my resume to one company on Monday afternoon, by 10 am Tuesday morning, they were on the phone arranging an interview (as a tradesman). The next day, they were arranging another interview for a staff job. Had that a week later, and there was a message waiting on my phone before I even got home offering me the job. The whole plant is about 1/50th of he size of the one I used to work in. I'm the maintenance supervisor, maintenance planner, technical officer, contractor controller, and I still get to work on the tools a bit. But I do spend a lot of my time driving a desk. Hasn't helped the size of my arse. Not as much money, but all day work.

Well, i hope you'll do well, and we won't discuss the size or arses.

Innit, though? Cheers, mate.

You know you're getting old when one good fart throws your entire back out!

Wilso!!! Good to see you back. Where you been hiding?

That is the JW Bible, correct?

You only have to believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose again 3 days later and you make Him your personal Saviour then you go to heaven at the Rapture or after you die. That's all there is to it .

What if I believe he rose again 2 days later. Will that work?

That's not actually all there is to it. When we are 'saved' (redeemed) God changes our hearts. We are literally made new creatures in Christ. Lots of people 'make that decision for Christ' but have no change in their lives. They go on doing the same things they always did. He takes out our hearts of stone that hate God and His ways and gives us a heart of flesh that loves God and His ways. The Book of Romans talks a lot about the doctrine of regeneration.

You won't find the "make a decision for Jesus" in the bible.

So Arella,

What you are saying is that someone who believes that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose again 3 days later and makes Him his personal savior...

... is still condemned to be tortured in Hell for eternity?

I makes me feel kind of sad to find out our friend Bornagain is condemned to that fate.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but did you really mean "literally"? Like, the actual cardiac flesh is physically taken out and replaced? Or, rather, those of us who no longer believe in God have actual stone hearts, like granite, limestone, chert, etc? Or do you mean "metaphorically"? I'm not being a grammar Nazi; I'm just wondering how literally you intend those statements.

I don't know where you got that. That isn't what I said at all.