All is well

Well done & the best of luck with your new life, Bud!

Hey, great! Best of luck to you!

Glad to hear it Bud. You did all you could do. I'm glad to hear you are much happier now.
Take care.

That sounds good, bud. Good and peaceful.

That's great Bud. I'm glad to hear that you're happy :-)

Who's Bud?

Fireman Bud ;-)

Good guy,
tried hard,
gave up,
and is living happily ever after.

I am glad too. Isn't is different to be actually liked and even loved? It might take a little getting used to, trusting it. Your new love won't be perfect, but may have the benefit of being real. Hang in.

<silent reader speaking up>

Ehm ... not to be nosy or overly critical, but is that the nurse your wife referred to as "Plan B", which you got so angry about? The one you had no intention of dating, last month?

Before I make the wrong impression, I'm not actually necessarily implying you're making the wrong decision ... if things truly were too messed up between you, it might indeed be better to make a clean break and not embitter yourself in too protracted a fight.

But to a procrastinator like me, it all seems to have gone pretty fast ... I mean, she says she's been unhappy for ten years ... you decided to change your life for the better on Dec 01; after a month, month and a half, she was still not feeling any more satisfied, so you moved out; and after another month you're dating someone else? That just seems a little fast, to me. But then, I tend to hang on to stuff way after its still reasonable to do so ...

Sorry, perhaps I'm sounding unjustly harsh, dont mean to. For sure, if you're going through a difficult time like this, it helps to have someone new to share your concerns with, create some new comfort ... And I'm sure you deserve it, you work hard, work to be a good parent, are grappling with being alone.

Its just that, like ... I dunno ... for example, she started taking anti-depressants about a month ago, that take four weeks to take effect ... that would be about now, right? And at the same time, four weeks ago, she was making all kinds of new openings to you, wanted to date again, stay over at your new place? What happened since?

Course, if you'd fallen for any overtures she was making, it mighta just have gotten you back into that lonely deadlock ... I mean, it happens a lot - you finally do start to leave, the other party gets scared and tries to have you hang on, after all ... without it necessarily getting any better. So perhaps its for the better that you're moving on.

Its just that it all went pretty fast! If you look back now, do you feel that perhaps, even if subconsciously, you had already kinda made your decision yourself a while ago too?

In any case, if all that's to be over, then I do hope this new life will really work out for you! Best of luck ...

I have filed for divorce. She is a hateful woman and will never chance. She told me I deseve what she has done for the last year and a half. Wrong, I dont, and will not accept it ant longer. There is more out there that what I have delt with for the last year and a half, and I am seeing that.
Other than not feeding her ego, I have not done anytthing wrong. I have always been faithful, I work hard (2 jobs), and I am a great father. She has troubles from her past she needs to deal with, and will never be happy until she does. I can not make her happy.
I have started seeing the nurse "Plan B", she is fun to be with and understands everything going on. She has been divorced for three years and is always there when I need an era.

Well, regardless of what the intricacies of the story may have been, it does sound like you're leaving a sad, troubled time behind, that caused you much heartache, and are heading for new horizons that give you more hope and renewed self-confidence. And that is always a nice thing to hear about <smiles>

I remember having sympathy for you from the beginning on your posts, if I remember correctly, but wish both of you well.

I have seen a lot of situations that remind me of the japanese movie Roshoman, a tale told by three people, and Children of Sanchez, a book by Oscar Lewis, told by five.

My pollyanna-ish wish is that you both grow from the experience. I strongly suggest that you not demonize your ex, which is not to say she isn't one, or even vice versa. My view is take it as a lump on the head and move on, and move on kindly.

Point taken, I love her and would never do anything to hurt her. I will have nothing but nice things to say to others about her. She is a good girl, with a few issues, as we all do. My issues and her issues make steam. I will keep in mind what you said, thanks Bud

... and that can't but help when it comes to your kids. A lot of people divorce, but not everyone can have a good divorce. Your kids will greatly appreciate it if you don't have bad things to say about their mom. I'm not saying you need to strew rose petals at her feet or anything, but a kind word or perhaps none at all if you sometimes feel you can't say anything good, well, that'll go a long way.

Actually, Bud, I don't worry about you. You've been unfailingly fair when talking about her.

My ex and I have been kind with and about each other, though I have a long diatribe should I be called upon, and no doubt he has had with me. Roiling boiling emotional wounds and payback get in the way of much of life - I guess both of us had instincts against going there.

Some of us have had our adult hearts really broken. Moving on without thought isn't all that useful as stuff reappears, patterns happen. Still, continued hateful engagement is destructive.

On nimh's post, I see your points nimh, re the recent situation, that the move is fast, but I felt he had absorbed a lot in the name of getting along, for a long time - I was ready for him to do that, the need is just there.

Although -- I will speak up for the benefit of people being by themselves for a while as really useful in many ways.
Rebound romances have their own problem scenarios, but it is hard to distinguish "rebound" from regular life.

Finally, I am not wise, ne'er trust me to be.