Talking about problems helps a lot.
And it seems that especially the (German) pre-war generations never learned that.
My aunt (82, father's youngest sister, the only of his siblings who survived the war), for instance, took care about all and everything, listened to any and everyone's problems - but asked about how she was doing, she always only said "splendid".
This morning my cousin phoned me that she had died on Sunday - due to obviously long lasting heart problems no-one (but perhaps my uncle) knew about.
My uncle is ten years older, ill since the war and not at good health since about 20 years.
He doesn't want that anyone gets notice about aunt's death nor that someone else besides perhaps children/grandchildren attends the funeral. My other cousin arranged that he gets an apartment in a senior residence, aunt and he wanted to go "some time when we are not doing so good anymore".
My cousin asked us not to drive down there (Vienna/Austria), because this might really upset my uncle a lot.
Although I really would like to do it, I respect this.
I didn't tell my mother about the death - nurses and therapists told me that they wouldn't like it done, too. (They might have different reasons - but mother and aunt never have had the very best contact.)
I can imagine, though, that my sister will talk a lot about it when she phones mother ...
Just got a phone call from the home: my aunt fought (and it sounded as if it was meant literally - what wouldn't surprise!) with tooth and nail not to go the the dentist's.
(She had got an appointment today, finally getting "her teeth back" = new sets of teeth.)
I spoke with the leading nurse of her ward at noontime today: we both thought that she might refuse going there because the consequence (in her opinion) would be: no more high calory drinks. And she likes them most.
I can't imagine that I can 'convunce' her, but I'll try (again) tomorrow ...
Walter--
Thanks for the kind thoughts.
You have your hands full, even on a part-time basis. At least you no longer carry the 24/7 worry.
Noddy my love you are always here for us and we are here for you. Eat plenty of fruit and veg. Keep safe and remember Hold your dominion X
The death of my aunt came totally unexpected: we wanted to visit her this year again, before they moved to the nursing home.
She had always been a great help for us, giving as well advice as keeping us grounded.
(My uncle had been married to her older sister at first. But she and their 3-days-old son died under the bombs in WWII. In 1946 my aunt - who had always admired her BIL, travelled across the German British and American Zone, through all zones in Austria ... to meet my uncle there.)
Walter--
Not only has your aunt died, but a classic romance is no more.
Black tulip--
Thank you.
(Partly due to my sister's letter) The court ordered a new examination to be done with my aunt, if she really needs a legal guardian and for what fields of responsibility.
Tax payers money to be spend again.
----------
In the home, my aunt didn't get cookies/cake this afternoon, as usally, but a yoghourt (or pudding) instead.
Today, however, she asked why she didn't get the cake: it was a cream cake with lots of whipped cream on top.
So she got a piece .... and finished nearly all of it.
Good for her, it is the little things that make the big things and thus a world of difference X
My aunt complained today that I didn't visit her every day. And she said, she didn't go to the dentist's because I had said, I would accompany her ...
Mother was in a really very good mood.
I went with down, but didn't join her her (and the others) with coffee and cake.
Three hours later (7pm) the ward phoned us: mother was missing.
So we drove there, diagonally through the town, looked at the house (backyard, garden) - and then joined the others searching.
An out of duty nurse came as well - her husband and I made the search by car and at various 'common' places.
Mrs. Walter went again through the town, around the churches .... and I met her by pure chance on the cementery.
It had become rather cold by that time (8pm/42F [feels like 32F])and it was getting darker.
So we/they phoned the police.
In the very same moment (one minute after the phone call), when I gave the first details to the meanwhile arrived police - mother was found.
A night nurse, who just started work, was bringing a 'night owl' to her room, which is a storey above mother's. And this nurse remembered that mother had been in this lady's room when she stayed in the home November last year ..
Indeed: there mother was, obviously having stayed there all the time since afternoon (alone, mostly).
The policemen were very very friendly, especialöly to the more than upset Mrs Walter.
Nurses and the missus were moved to tears in joined action, housemates, sisters and other nurses were settled after they became aware of the news .... and mother was wondering why people were so 'uneasy'.
Better that way than any other.
And a really good and professional work was done by everyone.
So glad mother is ok Walter...and so sorry for Mrs W and all who get upset by these things. Cant mother wear a chip? (only half joking)
Well, that would be an idea ... :wink:
Tuned in..... Noddy installment?
Oooohhhhhhhh - hope everything is k!
(all)
Walter--
Your mother approaches life with an Attitude. She's a doozie.
Izzie--
Mr. Noddy is driving again. His thought processes are not what they were, but when I threw a pair of socks at him when he didn't expect it, he was able to catch the socks. Therefore, I figure his reflexes are good enough for local driving.
I've had the blood tests done to confirm the diagnosis of Crohn's Disease and have started to organize my life around random holes in my intestines. (Of course, up to this point, I've organized my life around the symptoms from the undefined random holes). Mr. Noddy is not completely happy about being in a household with two Designated Invalids, but he tries to be reasonable.
In April all things are possible.
Oh......
The joy's of auto-immune malfunction!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep.
Now you know - and hopefully "someone" will be able to help the symptoms. Have they recommended meds?
In April, Anything Is Possible!
(...... k, mental picture here of you throwing socks at Mr. Noddy ....
....smiling a little, just a tad
)
Noddy, fortunately (and unfortunately) everything is possible in April. And any other month, I suppose.
But I know that you'll get things best organised!
Ah, Noddy. I will never forget the moment when I had to hide the keys to Bud's car. I knew that the day would come, but I couldn't have anything tragic on my conscience.
Phoenix--
Mr. Noddy's mental confusion is verbal but his three-dimensional skills are still intact. He can repair electronics, tackle household chores and diagnose and troubleshoot other people's household malfunctions over the phone.
He's much clearer mentally than he's been for five months. Both his doctors have cleared him to drive--and they were downright brutal in March about him N-O-T getting behind the wheel.
Most of his driving will be the half mile between our house and his coffee buddies or the 8.5 rural miles between our house and the strip malls of Rt. 209. Longer trips, I'll do.
Also, he has lifelong habits of never talking when backing up or when making a turn onto a major road. He concentrates.
Believe me, I'd be calling the State Police if I thought he was a clear and present danger.
Noddy picture of my dog, as requested, am trying to get the hang of these photo postings with Izzie's helpX
Hope you are well and thinking of you X
Noddy- Well, if two docs think it's ok for Mr. N. to drive, I suppose that it is alright. Just keep an eagle eye out for any changes in his functioning. The problem with dementia is that there are often slides and dips, when you least expect it.
