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Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

 
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Dec, 2007 10:06 am
Walter--

You're a bit short for the amount of charm you radiate, too.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Dec, 2007 12:15 pm
So the court-ordered psychiatrist examined mother this morning .... which was actually more a short talking, lasting less than five minutes.

(Mother had asked for a suppository this morning [she somehow believes that she has to go to toilette any time after she'd eaten something - at once], got it .... and it worked within seconds. She was very embarrassed about that - and told all and everyone that she called the nurse at night, no-one came and that she thus had stayed dirty for hours.)

The psychiatrist told mother that she can't act anymore on her own, due to her age etc - mother agreed that I should do it. (Well, she actually didn't understand what was going on, really., I think.)

----------

In the afternoon, we had been at my aunt, other town, other hospital.

My aunt didn't loose only weight (from XL down to S within three months) but her wrong teeth as well (she had put them somewhere this week, and some other patient might have found them - or not).

She looked like the living death.
Demanded (more ordered) that I had to come tonight again, and on Sunday, and at Christmas ...

(It seems that she felt somehow, she would miss Christmas - as long as I remember, she wasn't someone at all whom you would connect with christmas mood).
Since I said 'no', she started crying etc etc.

On January 3 she'll be driven to the seniors home.
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Dec, 2007 01:27 pm
Walter--

You have your hands full--but hope is in sight.
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JPB
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Dec, 2007 02:47 pm
Thinking of you and Ulla, Walter.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Dec, 2007 03:01 pm
Hang in there, Walter. It ain't easy!
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Dec, 2007 03:11 pm
Thanks!

To be honest: I wasn't not feeling too well today - memories came back from various occasions I frequently had to visit the psychiatric hospitals around here, as probation oficer and on other jobs as social worker as well as when visitng my first wife.

But after listening to dome favourite jazz cd#s and watching a really nice concert in Bridgeview on dvd ...

... http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/falasmiley.gif
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Dec, 2007 03:15 pm
Hey Walter- The holidays can be rough for many people, and you have been getting it from all sides. Music is good. It CAN transport you to a peaceful place, where you can forget your problems, even if only temporarily.
0 Replies
 
Tomkitten
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Dec, 2007 04:02 pm
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
For whatever reason, I haven't been getting notices from A2K, so I'm only now up to date on Walter's difficulties, and I'm trying to keep things straight - who is where, and what decisions have been made, etc.

One of my most faithful correspondents, a cousin, is away now until after Christmas, and there will be no email from her, unfortunately, for a while. She, along with another cousin, and A2K have helped me through these last difficult months and I will miss our back-and-forth notes.

Phoenix is right, the holidays are really really rough on a lot of people, though I don't, myself, feel any the worse because of the season. But I know Christmas can be terribly hard on some.

I hope that Walter and Noddy and everyone will make it as smoothly as possible through the next few days.
0 Replies
 
Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Dec, 2007 04:33 pm
Hey Wally,
Ulla was my first wife's name, we were together for 10 years.
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Steve 41oo
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 05:28 am
Thinking of you Walter.
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 05:59 am
Have been to the hospital (mother) this morning.

Will go there this afternoon again, sigh.

Without Mrs. Walter. And not to the chapel. (She wanted her lurex pullover and black trousers. My sister asked me to bring that.)

They had to secure mother in bed ...

Sigh.
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 06:00 am
TomKitten--

Next time you post a reply check under the window-for-writing-in.

There are four choices, the last being "Notify me when a reply is posted." Be sure that one is checked.

Two weeks until Twelfth Night. I can manage two weeks.
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 06:03 am
Walter--

I didn't see your latest post. This is not your happiest of Christmas Tides, is it?
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 06:06 am
I've never been a christmas-type person.

But if I had the choice - I even would prefer to sing chorals instead of what is going on these days.

(My sister wants to meet me, when they'll come on Thursday, and "talk about all". I'll sing my chorals than.)
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 06:26 am
Walter--

I hope you and Mrs. Walter are going out for dinner on Friday--after your sister leaves.
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 06:43 am
Walter, I hope the worst is behind you. Best wishes for a calm Christmas.

Noddy, Sending you peaceful Christmas wishes as well. I wish you lived closer. I'd invite you over.

Tomkitten, I'm glad to here that you are doing well. Are ther activities going on in your community?
0 Replies
 
Tomkitten
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 10:22 am
Noddy - the problem is that I had checked that box, and also the one about turning on notices. Ah well, stuff happens.

Swimpy - there was a big Christmas party for all residents a few days ago, but there are always too many people and you can't hear yourself think, so I didn't bother. One of my neighbors had a large private 90th birthday party, but again too many people and too much noise, so I gave her my felicitations, stayed a few minutes to chat with my 106-year old neighbor, and left. Actually, I was never a fan of large groups.

Tomorrow I will meet a couple for midday Christmas dinner - if he is well enough; that's very iffy. But most people have private parties or go to visit family, so Christmas is always very quiet here, with so many people being away. However, neither Bob nor I celebrated Christmas, so I'm not missing much.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 02:14 pm
Thanks for all your kind and supporting replies!

Sorry that I post here and now again - just ranting.

As said, mother is either sedured in her bed - or on a chair, where she can't get out by herself (well, she could, but not as she's now).
And the staff have put the phone aside - she doesn't remember (mostly) how to use it...

My sister phones her any other hour, from early morning till early night.
So I told her (my sister) to reduce this perhaps better - such wouldn't minimise her fear why no-one answers the phone but would also disturb the other lady in the room and the nurses a lot less ...

So my sister complained about me when phoning with Mrs Walter this afternoon: I could forbide that she phones her mother.
[I've been at that time in the hospital - I better had stayed at home: mother is feeling terrible about her situation, and that lets her act/react even worse.]
And she wants to talk with us "about the money mother gets/has": not that she/they must add something when mother stays in the senior home.


I'd got some rather unholy thoughts - even if it is Christmas Eve!
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 02:35 pm
Good thing your sister is way over there... grrrrr.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 02:40 pm
ossobuco wrote:
Good thing your sister is way over there... grrrrr.


She'll be here - from Wednesday eveing til Saturday morning.
0 Replies
 
 

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