Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

(Mother's psychiatrst's praxis just [nearly 8pm here!] just phoned: their report for the court is typed.)

Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
I went through this psychiatrist/court thing with my mother, but instead of one antagonistic sister & BIL, I had 11 antagonistic grandchildren & BIL. My, it was fun!

Well, the fun will start when I've asked my mother to agree ...

Good luck Walter. You've earned it! And Mrs W.

Good luck, Walter. I hope the court is sympathetic. You have our support for what it's worth.

I visited my mother this morning. She's being pampered by the staff and loving every minute of it. She looks good and says she feels good, too. She has made up a good story for what happened to her. She had just been to the doctor's office yesterday morning for a pnuemonia shot and to get her blood pressure checked. Today here arm hurts from the shot. therefore, her arm hurts because she fell last night. That's her story and she's sticking to it.

I've been through the court thing too. In my case, it meant my mother had to be in a locked facility, as she was an incredible wanderer, the couple of times she did wander. Major league.

The court episode was one of those ferocious things you don't want to do but have to. The poignancy of it took me a while to absorb, since I was, by the time of the hearing, near beside myself for what to do. As I've mentioned before, alzheimer's wasn't a word I heard in all my talks with medical people and social workers back in the very early seventies.


I wish you surcease, Walter, in the best possible way, that this present phase passes and your mother will acclimatize, and as a side effect, preferably sooner than later, your sister will catch on.







11 relatives, omg.

Not only--eleven grandchildren--Eleven Grandchildren in the full flower of their youth, bursting with vim, vigor and invincibility and absolutely convinced of their righteous cause.

Good for you, TomKitten.

I just noticed that I know the court clerk dealing with the letter 'H' in such cases (actually, it's a court officer who replaces a judge in some special businesses).
However, this has to be decided by a proper judge - and I'm not sure if I can get 'mine' deciding mother's case already tomorrow.

My sister has obviously phoned a couple of times with mother today.
Mother has told her that something wasn't in order at home due to what I and the nurses did.
So she left, stayed at hospital today and will leave tomorrow morning, since all is well arranged by then again.

I'm sorry, Walter, but that last was not clear to me. When you have a minute, can you recap that?

That's really awful, Walter. Such a strain on you. At times like these you need everyone pulling together.

Well, mother told my sister that she (mother) stayed today in hospital, because something was out of order at home. She will return tomorrow morning when awake.
That's what my sister told me on the phone.

Walter- I know how rough this can be on you. Take care, and let's hope that the next phase of this melodrama goes more smoothly. I am thinking about you!

It's going a bit more smoothly - kind of, at least.

Got the legal proceture running. Named my sister as second possible 'guardian' - and my aunt.

In between, I got the notice that my mother leaves the hospital today: nothing to be found by the surgeons .... and she didn't want to be looked at by the interior doctors.

Informed my sister about all this.
Now, because " a guardian has to do only the best", my sister said, now mother had to go in a senior home even if she doesn't want it.

Of course, she has no time etc to come - but asked me through the backdoor if I couln't stay there over night etc.

I answered in a very polite kind, perhaps a bit loud, I admit. :wink:

Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
I don't know how it goes in Germany, but when I had to deal with the guardian situation for my mother, our lawyer warned me that a legal guardian had serious financial responsibilities and would be accountable to the state for every penny.

Fortunately for me, not even being good at doing my own checkbook, the judge, when declaring her mentally and legally unable to handle her own affairs, appointed her lawyer and ours joint guardians, so they did the grunt work and had the fiscal responsibility.

So THAT was the loud noise I heard earlier!

Seriously, Walter, you are in a very hard place, and your sister is putting you through the wringer. I hope you're managing to find some consolation in the fact that you are indeed coping as thoughtfully and caringly as anyone could hope for with each new event.

It's - more or less - the same gere.

And that's why we/I don't some-one else doing it. :wink:

Mental Decline and Dependency


Sorry about the copy/paste mixup. I've been awake since 4 am with problems in my innards - which doubtless are exacerbated by the knowledge of this morning's coming event, and I'm not feeling all that intelligent.

TomKitten--

Getting up early for a formal Day of Closure makes sense, but you'll be exhausted by the time the sun goes down. Make plans for a peaceful supper and a quiet evening while you still have some emotional energy.

Walter--

Interesting times. Interesting times.

Can you and Mrs. Walter book another getaway for January? Surely the dust should be settled by January?

*************

After three snowfalls--one of 7"--Mr. Noddy announced that Saturday was the first of December and took the car in to have the snow tires put on.

The mountain labored and labored and produced a very respectable mouse.

Mental decline and dependency
Believe me, getting up early wasn't in my original plan. Old Mother Nature forced it on me.

The ceremony should be very short; what will take more time, as I understand it, will be the charming follow-up of sitting down and writing checks - Town of Westwood, Town of Westwood Cemetery, First Grave-Digger, Second Grave-Digger and so on.

Then I will come home and go right back to bed.

Noddy - Well, at least it's done!

Friday November 30 10:00 a.m - my thoughts are with you, Tomkitten!