Mental decline and dependency
I read on some Alzheimer's site (can't find it again, though) that one symptom is pigging out on junk food in the middle of the night. Bob has become devoted to this practice, and after an hour of munching everything in sight at 2 a.m., he finally came back to bed. This morning he said that he had kept on eating because nothing he ate was what he really wanted, and maybe the next thing would be.
He's always been very careful about his weight and what he eats - until all this deterioration got really going.
Has anyone else encountered this phenomenon?
I wish everyone here a peaceful Thanksgiving. "Happy" maybe isn't exactly in it, but peace is always good.
I take refuge in the old phrase "This too shall pass." I even like its appalication to the desireable things that are happening now. "Happiness" must inclulde an acceptance of everything that happens to us--Amor Fati (love your destiny)
Nietzsche.
Happy thanksgiving.
JLN
Tomkitten--
I haven't read specifically about midnight gorging on junk food as a symptom of Alzheimer's, but I can believe it. Mr. Noddy is diabetic and he's taken to insisting that he must have a bowl of ice cream or a fist full of potato chips to bring his blood sugar up.
He seems to eat less if I package his high-salt, high fat goodies into limited portions--although he's been known to finish off all measured portions and then start on the bags.
Ice cream sandwiches worked for awhile--but ice cream sandwiches come in limited flavors.
Can you try putting out--or having readily available--food in catagories: sweet, salt bitter, protein, crunchy, chewy....
Sometimes Mr. Noddy can be diverted from mindless eating to talking about mindless eating, but I wouldn't want to wake up at 2 a.m. for a discussion of the merits of assorted junk foods.
My guess is that the problem isn't so much a need for calories as a need for indulgence and diversion. Logically and physiologically ice cream is not an instant corrective for low blood sugar--but if Mr. Noddy wants to gorge....
I make lots of compromises with my conscience in the interests of tranquility. There's a long, long trail a-winding and I must hoard my limited resources.
Mental decline and dependency
Well, it isn't need for calories, I'm pretty sure, so you may well be right, that it's more a sort of mindless diversion. Unfortunately, it has the side effect of enlarging his waistline, & his mind doesn't seem able to make the connection; I can tell by his expression when I say it, he looks totally blank - it just doesn't register. So if it makes him happy. . .
Actually, cookies, crackers, and salty pretzels are all ready to hand. Ice cream is in the freezer, but this doesn't occur to him. I tried hiding the cookies. Mistake. So there they all are. The other day I had six fried chicken wings I was planning to give us for lunch, but when I went to get them out of the fridge guess what - right. Only two were left. Bob swears he doesn't remember eating them, and I absolutely believe him. And that's kind of sad, because if he can't remember eating them, then he can't remember how much he probably enjoyed them.
,
I know what you mean about the compromises. If something makes Bob happy (or less unhappy, depending,) I'll go for it.
I am eternally grateful that we live where we do, the more so as I've been re-reading this thread, and see how complicated and difficult even the best relationships and arrangements can become under these circumstances.
I have had to take official steps to deal with things - replacing Bob with a successor trustee, notifying one of the Geriatric Social Workers of the situation, making sure that the people in Assisted Living know about his various medications, in case I am ever hospitalized for a few days (no plans, but at 80 . . .) and so on and on. It hasn't been fun, but our lawyer is very understanding - his father is almost where Bob is mentally, so he knows - and as successor trustee he will be a great help. At least I won't have to go the financial affairs route alone any more.
Tomkitten--
I think some of the kitchen raiding is part of the "Me Big Hungry Man. Me in Charge" syndrome left over from the teenage years. It seems like yesterday that I was reading the riot act to teenaged boys who found considered swigging milk from the carton and soda from the bottle as Very Manly Pursuits.
I'm back to explaining that swigging beverages from the container is not acceptable behavior.
The "I didn't do it" refrain is maddening. Absolutely maddening.
Mr. Noddy doesn't want to buy 44" jeans or slacks because they are baggy in the rear. Mr. Noddy needs 44" jeans or slacks--with suspenders.
Mr. Noddy is sure that he eats very little. (But nearly every day is an exception).
Maddening.
Mental decline and dependency
I tried ordering what seemed to be the right size of pants online - LL Bean or Land's End, don't recall which - but had to return them because the legs were so long that cutting them to fit would have left them looking like clown pants. When you order from a catalog they just send the same length for everyone unless you specify the inseam & then they just chop the legs and it looks awful.
Bob hasn't the strength to go to the Mall, even with his walker, but if he goes on eating up a storm in the wee small hours he won't be able to leave the apartment at all, because his pants won't be decently zipped and buttoned. I don't quite know how to deal with this particular problem. I can't go without him, even if I thought I could get something and return them if necessary, because he panics when I'm not home. And, anyway, he has a fit when I tell him I'll just put his walker in the car - it's not heavy,only 13 pounds but awkward, even when folded up. Anybody have any suggestions?
Tomkitten--
Can you get the inseam measurement from a pair of his old pants?
Who would have thought that when you first heard about Alzheimer's that you'd have to learn to buy pants for a grown man?
I had a discussion today pointing out that if Mr. Noddy couldn't button a 42" waist, then a 42" waist is probably too small.
The really low point happened about ten years ago when he attended his mother's funeral with his pants fastened with a row of safety pins.
(He was terribly overmedicated at the time. He wouldn't try on his respectable clothes in time to shop and the row of safety pins was his idea. Silver Lining: His family noticed that he was a wee bit peculiar. )
Pity that you aren't allowed to be a liberated woman and put his walker in the car.
How about sweat pants, they tend to have elastic waistbands..
Re: Mental decline and dependency
Tomkitten wrote:I tried ordering what seemed to be the right size of pants online - LL Bean or Land's End, don't recall which - but had to return them because the legs were so long that cutting them to fit would have left them looking like clown pants. When you order from a catalog they just send the same length for everyone unless you specify the inseam & then they just chop the legs and it looks awful.
"chop the legs"? I don't think so. If you ask them to take the legs up, after giving them the inseams I think they'll accomodate you.
Mental decline and dependency
Well, I called the store, whichever it was, and they told me all their pants were made to the same length and they simply cut off as much as was needed to achieve the required length. I've seen the results of this approach to fine tailoring, and they ain't pretty.
Most pant legs are somewhat narrower, even if only slightly, down the shin than along the thigh, and cutting 10 or 12 inches off the bottom simply provides shorter and wider legs.
It's been years and years since Bob has bought a pair of pants, so I'm not sure, but don't most stores, or at least the better ones, have racks of Short, Medium, Long, & X-long, so they are somewhat prepoportioned to begin with, even if further shortening is required?
Mental decline and dependency
Unfortunately, Bean's pants are too long, even with the shortest inseam they handle. And they are one of the places that simply chop. However, I'm going to try again,;this time I'll phone them and speak face-to-face, so to say. They have a direct Customer Service online, but it's easier when there's a complicated question, just to call.
Old fashioned technology has its merits . . .
Mental decline and dependency
And the elastic waistband is a fine idea. I like it better than the sweatpants, although I'm keeping that in reserve. So thanks!
Tomkitten--
Is your husband aware of what he is wearing? Or is it important to you to see him dressed as the man he used to be? Either way, you have a problem that must have an answer.
Can you find someone locally who does alterations and makes house calls?
I Googled for "hard to fit men clothing" and found:
http://www.prwebdirect.com/releases/2006/8/prweb429543.htm
They might be able to give you some advice.
Mental decline and dependency
Noddy - oh yes, he picks out his own clothes each morning, although sometimes he has to be reminded that the next step after his post-breakfast nap is to get dressed.
As far as what he wears, I don't give a damn as long as he's comfortable and the clothes are clean. Well, that last bit is my responsibility, anyway.
I LOVE the Thanksgiving pants definition!
Actually, a new resident right down the hall is a whiz at anything to do with sewing, and has already done some alterations for me. Whether the waistbands of Bob's pants has enough spare material to be let out I don't know. The seams up the back of the pants still have some spare space, but the waistband is another matter. I wonder if she could insert a bit of elastic - I wouldn't care how it looked, and anyway, he always wears a jacket or sweater outside the apartment, because the halls and public areas are kept a bit cooler than he finds comfortable.
Phoenix, I took a quick look at Eddie Bauer site (I didn't know they still existed!) and will investigate more closely later on, but I wanted to thank you quickly for the lead.
Mental decline and dependency
Bob never forgets to put the seat down, but lately he forgets to close the door...
Well, you have to take your humor where you find it.
Anyway, the only time one can see into that bathroom is near the bedroom closet; not an area frequented by guests.
Have had some trouble with mother again: dementia become more severe, she doesn't drink enough, doesn't want to use the walker anymore ... Well, her neurologist/psychiatrist changed the medicamentation today at the regular visit.
Even more trouble with MIL (but fortunately we learn about that only by phone ... although it's ... not nice either).
But what really makes me grimace is the thought of what will happen tomorrow: I have to tell her (them: including my aunt) that I'll be away for a couple of days (London) and only Mrs. Walter will be there as "child in attendance".
