Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

Of course I remember you, McTag. That trip was so much fun for Bob and I.

All the holidays are strange without Bob. The house seems so empty and quiet. BBB and Butrflynet invited me over for Thanksgiving and have already invited me over for Christmas. Good friends.

Thank heaven for our little dog, Sally. I don't know what I would do without her. She clings to me the same as she did with Bob. She sleeps with me and when she moves around in the night, I sleepily think it's Bob and find it very comforting.

Swimpy, I think of you often.

I can imagine thaat the situation especially with the holidays is strange.

Ours is certainly different to yours, Diane.
We have got since last year no "obligations" anymore, no problems to decide what day we stay with whom and where.
And so we are off on vacation, the second time in life over Christmas/New Year.

I will be thinking of you and Ulla having a wonderful time on your travels. You both certainly deserve the good times. xoxo

They certainly get around a lot, these two.

So the old lady from downstairs died last night, didn't wake up this morning. (In the senior's residence, just days before turning 99.)

Since none of her relatives could be reached ... I had (!) to ... well, co-ordinate from the background: leaving messages on mailboxes and inform the psychiatric hospital where her younger sister (89) still is in therapy.

In the evening - still no response from the relatives - I agreed with the residence's manager that the home now should "run the official way" = inform the town's "health & safety department" to start things related to the funeral ...

The psychiatric hospital will inform the sister, whenever, with the help of their psychologists, social workers, doctors.

Only just a few minutes ago, finally one relative phoned us ....

Ah Walter, you have become the "expert" to call.

This article may be of interest:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/02/health/research/alzheimers-spreads-like-a-virus-in-the-brain-studies-find.html

Excerpt:

Click the link for the details of what I've excerpted below.

http://mariashriver.com/blog/2012/02/senior-driving-and-car-key-dilemma

Tips for Transformation
Senior Driving and the Car Key Dilemma

By Scott Eckstein

One thing that occurs during the holidays is we tend to spend more time with the seniors in our family. Some of the things we thought we saw during the year come closer to the surface and may need to be discussed with our siblings in earnest.

...

It is certainly not an easy topic to take on, either with family members or the senior themselves. There are always differing opinions relative to severity and importance, and some family members as well as the senior can respond with responsibility shirking and straight up denial.

The National Institutes of Health has an Older Drivers AgePage. I have paraphrased some of their points as things to look out for in a older driver who may need to be off the road:

...

It is important to keep in mind that sometimes there is a treatable medical condition that is causing poor driving. Things like:
...
When having “the conversation”, it’s always important to:
...
These ideas may seem simple, but sometimes it’s just a matter of a senior “saving face” that helps the process go more smoothly. There are other “last resort” efforts that involve escalating the seriousness of the intervention. Some consider contacting the Department of Motor Vehicles one of the most significant “last resort” options with the largest “guilt factor”.

Each state has its own Department of Motor Vehicles. Contact the DMV for the state your senior lives in to find out how to file an unsafe driver report as the rules vary from state to state. In California, for instance, you can’t file the report anonymously, but your name is not supposed to be released to the public.

After receiving a complaint, the DMV will contact the driver and request an evaluation. Usually a driving test is required. Depending on the findings, the senior’s license could be restricted or revoked if concerns are found.

Some states keep the identity of the person who files the report confidential; others do not. Even if your state doesn't, isn’t it better to have an angry senior or family member than an injured (or worse) one? The same goes for bystanders.

This process is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Be flexible and be creative. Take deep breaths, and do what you feel is best for your situation.

Good news!

http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2012/02/09/we-can-t-wait-taking-action-alzheimer-s-disease#.TzQLnxKeP3w.facebook

We Can’t Wait: Taking Action on Alzheimer’s Disease

Posted by Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services on February 09, 2012 at 11:38 AM EST

Alzheimer’s disease, which today afflicts as many as 5.1 million people in the United States, devastates the lives of individuals suffering from the disease and places tremendous physical, emotional, and financial strain on their families and loved ones. We can’t wait to act. As the population of the United States ages, the time for bold action on the growing public health challenge posed by Alzheimer’s is now.

This week, we proposed a historic $156 million investment to tackle Alzheimer’s disease. This investment will:

Immediately Increase Alzheimer’s Disease Research Funding: The National Institutes of Health (NIH) will immediately dedicate an additional $50 million from its fiscal year 2012 funding to Alzheimer’s research.
Sustain and Grow the Alzheimer’s Research Investment: The President’s fiscal year 2013 budget will include $80 million in new Alzheimer’s research funding. Together, fiscal years 2012 and 2013 investments total $130 million in new Alzheimer’s research funding over two years – over 25 percent more than the current annual Alzheimer’s research investment.
Support the Goals of the Preliminary National Alzheimer’s Disease Plan: This initiative also includes $26 million to support additional goals in the preliminary National Alzheimer’s Disease Plan. While the plan continues to be developed, experts have identified several high-priority goals that will be supported by the announcement, including:
Education and outreach to improve the public’s understanding of Alzheimer’s disease starting this year;
Outreach to enhance health care providers’ knowledge of the disease;
Expanded support for Alzheimer’s patients and caregivers in the community;
Improved data collection and analysis to better understand Alzheimer’s disease’s impact on people with the disease, families and the health care system.

These investments build on the President’s commitment to fighting Alzheimer’s disease.In January 2011, President Obama signed the National Alzheimer's Project Act, which calls for an aggressive and coordinated national Alzheimer’s disease plan. The Act also establishes an Advisory Council on Alzheimer's Research, Care, and Services, which brings together some of the Nation's foremost experts on Alzheimer's disease to inform the development of the national plan.

The time to take on Alzheimer’s disease is now. Without a cure or more effective treatment, Alzheimer’s is expected to grow more prevalent as the population ages. Failure to invest now will place significant strain on our nation’s health care resources in future years. If no effective strategies are found for Alzheimer’s treatment or prevention, the number of people with Alzheimer’s disease and the annual health care costs associated with Alzheimer’s disease are projected to rise significantly in the coming years. Which is why – we can’t wait.

My wife's parents, both aged about 90, both had a fall this week. (He had a "seizure", which the doctor at first thought was a mini-stroke). She was trying to steady him, and they both fell, she injuring her ribs and getting a bang on the mouth for her pains.
We received a phone call- we live about a mile away- to say they were both on the floor, and neither could get up.
She had to crawl to the back door to unlock it for us. We came, hoisted them both up, and put him to bed. The doctor came, etc etc.
Then that night, after we had gone to bed, came another phone call. He had fallen backwards into the bath, and could not get out. So we dressed hurriedly, went round, and hoisted him- luckily no bones broken- out.

I was amazed the doctor, who had attended earlier, had not arranged for a Zimmer frame to be supplied, to assist mobility. So I purchased one next morning.

Since then, until m-i-l can get over her ribs pain, we are supplying two meals a day and ancillary help. The authorities are also mobilised, and have been very good, with domestic and nursing care.

Let's hope that one of them will at least see the benefit to giving you a key.

Sorry to hear that!
All the very best for everyone!

Demonstrating the incalculable value of A2K, helpful hints arriving from all over the world. Who would have thought of that?

Phoenix,

Elderly family might be sometimes hard to do for those who are busy in their life. Why not try the home care service?!

honitel. I see that you are new. Welcome to A2K!

My mom passed away in 2007. I started this thread in 2002, and it is still "alive".
I think that the interest in this thread demonstrates that the issue of caring for the elderly touches many of us.

I am thinking of the "baby boomers" on this site, many of whom have parents who are reaching that stage of life where they need the assistance of their kids. In addition, some of the boomers may need help from their kids.

I am gratified that many people shared information and support to others who had this situation. I hope that this thread continues!!!

Phoenix,

Personally, I didn't have a chance to took care of my grandpa cos at that time I'm so busy in my school stuff! Tho my mother did and I can see and feel the hassle she had back at then! For the record, my mother and granpa's relationship isn't that good! Yet mom, took and see him as her father not the things he'd done! He was paralyze and so hard headed, don't want to exercise even my uncle have a hard time to please him. Mom with her siblings gives patience to him, care enough to make him comfortable!
April 2007, heavenly father let him rest!

What are the medical indicators that help a doctor determine whether it is the average dementia or Alzheimer's?

What are the distinguishing early signs to look for to know when it is crossing over from dementia to Alzheimer's?

I am not sure about the medical terminology, Butrflynet - I have a friend who is an Alzheimer researcher, I'll ask her.

Yet, our grandma has dementia and she's utterly paranoid by now. She thinks that people are out to harm her, that her food is poisoned, and things like that. She'll tell you stories that make no sense, she probably heard on the news, but she's completely sharp when it comes to remembering things from the past, she remembers names and incidents.

As far as I understand, Alzheimer patients have plague in their brain cell connectors and depending where the plague is more prominent, the brain doesn't signal anything, which translates to not remembering people, names or even their own address. Alzheimer patients will not remember certain incidents from the past, some they do, but not consistently. As the plague around the brain cell connectors progresses, less and less memories are kept.

http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_related_diseases.asp

Dementia does not "cross over" to Alzheimers'. They are two separate entities. A common dementia is caused by small strokes (vascular dementia). The decline is stepwise.......the person remains at the same functioning level until he has another incident.

With Alzheimers', level of functioning declines on an ever increasing downward slope. Both Alzheimers' and vascular dementia can be present in a single person. There is also Lewy body dementia, which is a component of Parkinson's disease.

Thanks Phoenix, that's exactly what I needed.

Sorry to hear about your grandma, CJ.