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Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

 
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Nov, 2010 05:07 pm
@ehBeth,
I know you've all been thought this before. It helps to know you're here.
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 09:01 pm
Frontline had an interesting program the other night called "Facing Death." It was about end of life decisions and the inevitable uncertainties that one confronts. If your interested, you can watch it online. Here's the link: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/facing-death/?utm_campaign=viewpage&utm_medium=grid&utm_source=grid
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 09:52 pm
@Swimpy,
Frontline.

Often tough and often very good.

Will watch another night.

Thinking of you and your family. Ups and downs.
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 10:29 pm
@ehBeth,
Definitely ups & downs. Granddaughter is one month old. At least greatgrandma has gotten to see her a few times. The only thing that makes her light up.
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  2  
Reply Fri 3 Dec, 2010 08:40 pm
Just a reminder to give to your local Hospice if you have the means. these people are great and probably lose money on each patient.
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Dec, 2010 08:53 am
I don't want to dwell on the nitty gritty details. MIL is within days we are told. She really left us early last week. Hoping she can still see and hear us when we are there. They say that hearing is the last thing to go, but she was virtually deaf before all this happened. I get right in her face and speak loud and clear. I hope that's enough.
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  5  
Reply Sat 4 Dec, 2010 05:47 pm
Even in the most serious situations there can be funny moments. This afternoon we had been waiting and waiting for the hospice nurse. she had called a couple of times to assure us that she was still coming and hadn't forgotten about us. At about 4:45 pm, one of the aides came in and announced to Mr. Swimpy and me that the nurse was still coming but it would be a while yet. We heard a very loud "OK" coming from the presumed comatose. I had to laugh. It was good to hear her voice.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Dec, 2010 05:53 pm
@Swimpy,
That will be a rich memory..
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Dec, 2010 12:49 pm
@Swimpy,
Grandma Shirley's long struggle finally ended at 4:30 this morning. She drifted off, her son at her side.
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Dec, 2010 01:09 pm
@Swimpy,
My condolences, Swimpy!

May she rest in peace.
Our thoughts are with you and the family.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Dec, 2010 01:11 pm
@Swimpy,
Rest in peace, Grandma Shirley.
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Dec, 2010 01:40 pm
Thanks, Walter and osso.
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Dec, 2010 04:02 pm
@Swimpy,
I'm sorry for your loss, Swimpy. My dad was also in hospice and I agree, they are wonderfully caring people who are very good at what they do. Watching a loved one become a bag of skin and bones is something no one should have to experience. Having some hospice people to help a family through the journey makes a big difference.

I hope your family has lots of warm memories and photos to remind you of when she was the vibrant, healthy grandma you all love.
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Dec, 2010 04:22 pm
@Swimpy,
((((Swimpy&family))))

thinking of you and yours xx
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Dec, 2010 08:02 am
@Butrflynet,
Thanks, Butrflynet and Iz.
0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Mar, 2011 09:23 pm
Hopefully, I will be successful in bringing back this thread. I found it to be one of the most helpful threads on aging and caregiving that I had ever read, including many of the books that have been published on the subject.

Who out there is in the position of caring for elderly parents or loved ones?

Reading through this again, especially from the beginning, is bringing back amazing memories of the strength so many a2kers have shown in the most difficult situations.

0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Mar, 2011 09:25 pm
Amazing, this thread was started 9 years ago!
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2011 06:07 am
Right now, I am having difficulty with dealing with Mr. P. Some time back, he broke his knee. We bought a new iMac, and I wanted to call in a pro to install it, and the printer, which is a monster.

The difficulty was not with the new computer, which only has a few wires, but with removing the old one, which has loads of wires that were all tangled up behind a desk, with access through a small opening.

Now he has always prided himself on doing things himself. I was very upset when I saw him crawling around, without his knee protectors.

After he finished, successfully, I might add, he was totally exhausted. What would have taken a pro an hour, took him three.

So I am between a rock and a hard place. I am very realistic, at this time, about what I can and cannot do because of growing older. So it upsets me to see someone that I love attempting to do something that I believe might have adverse consequences for him.

Any suggestions as to how I could better handle this?
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2011 03:54 pm
No suggestions, but I am here to listen. My parents are right around 70 and I will need to deal with many of these issues in the years to come. Happily they're both pretty healthy currently.

I have one main issue for each parent (leaving the smaller ones aside). My mother's mental capacity is less than it was. How do I know if mental decline is due to age or dementia (her mother had dementia). My father has heart disease which he has battled with miraculous results. But I worry! How do I nudge him to follow doctor's orders without driving him bonkers?
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2011 04:14 pm
@Phoenix32890,
What about finding your husband a young adolescent friend he can tutor in the ways of being handy around the house? This will allow your husband to remain involved as a tutor while passing on his knowledge and experience to the next generation and getting some of the chores done that he shouldn't be physically doing anymore.
 

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