Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

would a taxi of some kind be out of your financial grasp?

or.. it is out of Mr noddys ego acceptable travel.. .

but it might save you some sanity..

Shewolf--

Living where we do, a car is essential.

Taxi fare to the grocery store would be at least $12 each way.

Taxi fare to Doctor's Row would be at least $40 and possibly as much as $60 each way.

The Agency for Aging runs a Shared Ride van for medical appointments. This must be booked in advance and a 15 minute chat with a doctor would involve at least 3-4 hours transportation time, depending on where the other riders were picked up and dropped off.

*********

This morning I picked up some fresh bagels and mailed my letter to Mr. Noddy's doctor. On the drive home, I realized that I'd forgotten to mention his mental fogs when he swallows too many pain pills, but I made sure that the Visiting Nurses informed the doctor of this in March.

Also, Mr. Noddy has a history of over-medication.

I've done my best. Angels can do no more.

Mental Decline
For what it's worth, transportation to medical appointments is tax deductible...Unfortunately, trips to the grocery store are not, equally necessary though they are.

However, with time and luck Mr Noddy's doctor and other medical people will build up a sufficient case for taking Mr Noddy's keys. That may be hard on you both, but better than the constant worry about the possible results of having him behind the wheel again.

I'm hoping that this situation gets itself resolved soon and smoothly.

Anyway, you've done all you can; the next thing is to hope that you now have less stress. Whether Crohn's is directly affected by stress or not, extra stress isn't something you need right now. So get as much rest s you can and don't forget we're here.

TomKitten--

Thanks for the positive thoughts.

I had a note from an old college friend who tried getting her mother's driver's license in PA. Her mother was mixing alcohol and pain killers. The doctor who was given the form--this is back 30-odd years ago when Senior Citizens just had one doctor--was the doctor who prescribed the pain killers.

Mama continued to be a menace on the road, but she was a lucky, shielded-by-benign-spirits menace. My friend accepted that she'd done what she could. I find this a cheering and inspiring attitude. Control Freaks have to quit someplace.

I suspect my cavorting poltergeist is rebelling against change as much as stress. Some days I wish my medical life came with control groups.

Actually, on some days, I'd like to be the control group.

Hey Noddy

Just checking in girl. Hope you are holding your dominion and life is becoming a little easier for you. How are the meds working? Have you heard back re Mr. Noddy driving?

Thinking of you and wishing you well.

Izzie--

Thank you for your concern.

On Tuesday we had a power surge which did in my lovely cordless mouse. Unbeknownst to me, Mr. Noddy went trouble shooting and pulled the wires of the coaxial cable out of the connection.

On Thursday, my son in Boston Fed Exed a new mouse. The step son down the road came up and charged $60 to replace the cable (with a piece of cable Mr. Noddy happened to have around from handier days).

Unless I badly botched The Letter to Mr. Noddy's Doctor, he should have it by now. Mr. Noddy has an appointment on Thursday. Yesterday he attended a family funeral in an electric blue polo shirt. We shall see.

Meds? Goodness knows. I'm going to post some wistful questions about edema in the Medical forum, hoping for someone with practical experience.

That's totally correct.

Hold your dominion.

Fbaezer--

Thank you.

The afternoon (and my edema which fortunately seems to be retreating) are complicated by Mr. Noddy and a used car purchase.

Because of the Crohn's and the edema (and fluttering adrenaline-induced vapors) I do not want to drive myself.

I've okayed the car and the financing. The nice salesman will arrange to return the rental and transport Mr. Noddy and the new car home. Mr. Noddy was a little shocky earlier and has promised not to drive this afternoon.

Once Mr. Noddy is safe home and there is an intact car in the driveway, I'm going to relax.

Some days are more complicated than others.

Hoping, you're okay, Noddy, (as are Mr. Noddy and the car) and you really could relax!

Walter--

Thanks for the kind thoughts.

My son and d-i-l will be visiting this weekend. My son has great tact and patience and I'm counting on him straighting out the financing botch.

How are your aging womenfolk behaving these days?

Well, thanks for asking.

Aunt is quite depressiv - didn't talk to me much since I returned (if at all).
But that's mainly only towards me (and Mrs Walter): at the ward and with the nurses she's not doing really bad at all (likes to go out now as often as she wants to go to bed again after breakfast).

Mother is ... like always, I think. (She didn't complain that I was away - actually, I doubt that she really noticed that.)

Staff told me that she sometimes just stays in her room and doesn't want to go out at all; on other days, she walks around through the house and the park, doesn't know where she is, has to be led back .... and then knows exactly which lift to take and where ...


We had some severe hail and storm last weekend: cellar under water, windows smashed and damages at the roof, too.

And besides having to regulate that, I'm doing just now an invetary for the court (primarily for the fees).
Since I don't want to list some 4,000 books,I'm only photographing them. (Like all the other stuff.) Keeps me occupied.


Have a joyful, pleasant weekend with your son and d-i-l!

Walter--

Thank you.

Enjoy your inventory project--and be sure to make a note of the amount of time invoved. Time is a billable expense.

Thus far Mr. Noddy is still driving. I will not ride with him. Before he leaves the house, I make sure he has a hearty, balanced breakfast and round-about lunch time I call on his cell phone and nag.

Breakfast I can control. Lunch.... All I can do is stock his little cooler with favorites and hope.

Mental decline
How lucky I was with my mother's possessions! She planned very carefully how the grandchildren were each to choose first the big pieces, then the smaller stuff, so neither I nor the lawyers whom the court appointed as her legal guardians (thank God) had to concern ourselves with any kind of inventory.

By the time all the legal proceedings relevant to guardianship were done - just a short hearing before the probate judge - her furniture and other items were all peacefully distributed.

The only things that didn't go where they should have were her many silver pieces - tea caddies, coffee pots, and such. All but two items went to some unknown burglar who broke into the apartment before they could be packed up.

Personally, on that point I have always wavered between one grandchild who, disregarding sentiment of any kind, said they should all be sold, and the building superintendent - there was no sign whatever of a break-in. They were not insured.

Hmmm, all is planned written down very well in mother's last will, too.
But this court has nothing to do with that - though they do understand the (my) problems ...

Mr. Noddy had an exciting social day on Friday. He came home tired and happy but through the evening grew increasingly mentally disorganized.

He napped in his chair from about six that evening to three in the morning when he bumbled into bed.

Saturday morning he was mentally disoriented, forgetting family facts and recent history. He was unable to answer simple questions or follow simple directions. I nearly called the ambulance.

I did cancel his plans to attend a family picnic.

Through Saturday afternoon he napped. In between naps he was growing more rational.

At 9:35 last night he announced that he was going out to drop in on some neighbors--both of whom are early-to-bed people. They live about 2 miles away.

I objected because it was rude; because it was after dark and because of his mental fog.

He promised he'd have his cell phone--turned on; that he'd call when he arrived and before he left and that he would stay only an hour.

By 9:55 he'd found his shoes and left.

When I didn't hear from him by 10:10 I called his cell phone and found it was turned off. At 11:30 I very reluctantly called the neighbors and left a message on their machine.

I was looking up the number for the State Police (we have no local police force) when a rap came on the door. Neighbors of the neighbors had found Don parked in their driveway, disoriented and struggling with the stiff, unfamiliar gearshift in our "new" car.

Don insisted that their driveway was a bog and that he'd been stuck in the mud--which could happen to anyone.

He also insisted that there was a quart of milk in the car which had to be brought in the house. There was no milk. I asked him where he got the milk and he said, "I guess at one of the neighbors."

Stress is not good for Crohn's. I'm not feeling very objective right now.

I hope Mr. Noddy settles down today and you can get some rest.

I'm sorry, Noddy. It's not easy for someone in good health, nigh impossible for someone with their own health issues. Take gentle care of yourself.

have you asked his doctor about sedatives?

very small doses may help him to stay calm, and be a bit less physical... which could do a world of good for you.


Im hoping you can find some in home help for long periods of time..

when I would have more then one patient/resident like this it would almost always require 2 or more people to keep them inside and safe.
Yo are in my prayers .

Take care, Noddy, don't forget yourself!

Swimpy--

Mr. Noddy napped from midnight to five in his recliner and then staggered to bed. He's still asleep at eleven. I'm rehearsing restraint. Thank you for your good wishes.

JPB--

I'm working up a certain amount of ruthlessness about my health. The Crohn's has created a protein imbalance, hence the edema and the loss of muscle mass. Eventually this is life-threatening.

Infinite compassion would be nice--but I can't do infinite compassion any more.

My conscience is clear.

Shewolf--

Mr. Noddy is right on the borderline of dangerous overmedication.

Counting two kinds of insulin he takes 22 different meds every day including tranks, pain killers and mood elevators.

This sort of varied personal pharmacy doesn't help Mr. Noddy's rational thought.

Walter--

Thanks for the good wishes.