High school Daycare Centers

I have multiple reasons I think it is better not to allow a teen parent in public schools. The reason I am using the term 'norm' is because of perceptions of teens. They oversimplify everything. They think having a baby equates to having a puppy. They know Jane Doe has a baby and goes to school. It looks easy when parenting is anything but.

Adults have different perspectives than teens. Of course, teen parenting is not some norm to adults. Teens view things differently. They are still developing and culturally molded. What the see as common practice does become a social norm to young people of today. I don't like what this is teaching teens for these two reasons.

I also strongly feel that teen parents have very different needs that their peers. Many people are opting for home schooling for many different reasons. Infants need to bond with the parent. I think that home schooling is in the best interest of both parent and child. They can have a high school education that is flexible with the high demands of parenting.

I am not trying to treat them as lepers at all. I disagree that any teen parent has much incommon with peers in a high school with no children. Any parent can tell you how life altering having a child is. Absolutely they need an education. They also have a responsibility towards the child they brought into this word.

I think home schooling is the best answer to this problem, not high school day care centers to enable them to have a high school education and care for their child. I know several teens that are in home schooling programs for differing reasons. They do not feel ousted from society. I am concerned about what is in the best interest of society.

Aren't there a lot of assumptions there, wildflower? Like that the teen mother has someone both available and qualified to home school her?

Also, they do have something in common, they are human teenagers with fairly little experience of the larger world.
I think it is one of the big advances in recent decades, that girls (as women of less than, what? around twenty, believe it or not, were thought of when I "came of age", as the phrase is known, at least in screenwriting) weren't separated out, as in outcast.

Knowledge empowers, and community at its best can function to include. It wasn't all so long ago, certainly within my life, that someone borne as illegitimate had some kind of arrow at the brow. This was really stupid, and fell by the wayside. Stopping the hiding helped flush out those arrows.

Surely there are ways to promote adult thinking and/or wisdom besides shutting people off in chambers called the Aunt's?

A child is a lifetime engagement. There should be classes in that in regular school.

Yes, I am making the assumption that anyone who chooses to bring life into this world should care for it and take full responsibility for that choice. I am assuming that if you, as a teen, are old enough to bring life into this world, choose to raise that child, then you really cannot have the life of a typical high school kid with no parental responsibility. They made an adult choice and need to live up to the responsibility of this. I can't imagine a responsibility larger than that of another human life. Small children and infants need parents, not some paid day care worker keeping them alive while a teen parent is enabled to act like a kid. They gave up that choice by deciding to be a parent. They need to be taught responsibility towards that life, even if they can't have fun with friends at school. They have an obligation to another life that needs constant care.

These are not unreasonable assumptions at all. Would someone please explain to me the benefits to mother and child and other teens by having a day care center at school so they can continue with immaturity and irrisponsibility? What is the problem with home schooling to enable a mother to care for her child with a flexible schedule?? Parents don't really have to spend much time at all on this. It's pretty clear cut what their assignments are. They do know how to read, don't they?

It isn't like we are talking about small children in the playground. We are talking about older teens who are parents. It really wasn't all that long ago that the age of 14 was acceptable for marriage and family with all the responsibility to go with it. This is not expecting too much out of teen parents at all. My great grandmother had an arraged marriage to a widower at the age of 14. She not only was able to take care of motherless children, but provide a home for them and run it. This was a common expectation out of teen girls, to know how to run a home.

Today, we think of teens as idiots, which they are far from. We underestimate them greatly only because we expect very little out of them. I have a 13 year old daughter that is not above this sort of problem in the future. She knows my expectations of her if she chooses to be a parent. She could be a minor with a child, which sure isn't my choice for her. She can solve this problem easily with abortion, proper use of birth control, or not risk pregnancy at all by not having sex. It is completely out of my hands, if my daughter has a child at 15 or 16.

I will help her help herself. I will be far less than thrilled with her for such irrisponsibility and she knows it. I will also love my grandchild and insist she care for this life and give some thought to her own furture. She will have a child and a choice of her own future. If I could get a college degree with two small children under foot, she is capable of reading her assignments, through home schooling, and caring for her infant child who needs her love and attention. I demand that of her.

If she thinks she is overwhelmed to the point she cannot deal with her own education or proper care for her child, I find this completely unaccptable behavior. She knows where the door is at 18. Go live with the guy that got you into this poition in life, if she doesn't choose to help herself and care for the life she brought into this world. Teens are not stupid or mentally impaired, just spoiled thinking this world owes her something when it doesn't, if I let her take easy bail outs, which is doing them no favor at all. I am talking about what I demand out of my own daughter!!

She gave up the choice to hang out with her friends the minute she chose to bring a life into this world. I insist that she completely care for this life primairily, not me. I will give her guiadance she needs. I will give her an opportunity for her education. Home schooling is the answer, not high school day care. This teaches the wrong thing to the teen parent and other kids in the school.

Home schooling really does not take the time wasted in class rooms for teens to learn adequately. It takes only a fraction of time to learn with efficient use, which is not expected in any high school. They have to deal with a group of teens who wish to socialize, disruptions, and distractions. Alone, this is a non-factor. They do learn quickly. It is their choice.

Parents of high school students don't have to be equal to teachers. I seriously looked into this option for my son because of failure to thrive. I talked to other parents and asked what they had to do. The answer I got from each one is tell your teen to turn off the TV and get busy. You just hand it to them. The assignments come with written explanation and text they have to read and study. That's it. Just tell them to do their work and let them deal with it.

Once again, it is their choice. Parents don't choose for their children to have children as teens, they do. High school is a cake walk. It isn't hard at all for any teen of, so called, normal intelligence. They have to be willing to do the work, which any teen mother can easily do and care for their infant child. All parents should never underestimate a teen. They will not necessarily do as you expect, just as my own son didn't. It is the obligation of a parent to prepair their children to enter adulthood, all of us.

It is especially a problem when your teen displays blatent irresponsibility such as teen parenting or high school drop outs. Parents have no control over their choices, but do have control in their own home to define acceptable from unacceptable for what goes on under thier own roof. Make their life hell if they want to act like entitled spoiled brats. We are legally allowed to do just that as long as abuse is not in the picture. I don't have to buy my kids the latest at the mall clothing. I can buy second hand clothes, which is what I am legally obligated to do, give them food, shelter, and clothing. It doesn't have to be what they want, but what they need.

My son refused to do his school work. I couldn't do a thing about it. I tried everything. He made this choice not to do school work to the point there was no posibility of graduation. I assume since he is adult enough not to be a high school kid, he made an active choice to enter the adult world. I insisted on full time work with benefits. That's reality. My son tried to pull the kis screw off thing. I wouldn't let him or his life would be hell. He is too young. I cannot throw him out of the house. I can make his life miserable, without abuse, insisting that he act like an adult since he made the choice to be one.

I refuse to allow my son to be some spoiled brat laying around the house watching cartoons. He lost that luxury of being a kid when he blew his grades so bad that there was no possibility for him to graduate from high schoo. I looked into home schooling and it really isn't a bad option for many kids that do not thrive in the high school enviornment. Am I unreasonable? No, I am not.

You cannot treat teens like kids when they make life altering adult decisions. You have to transition them into the adult world. An adult woman with a child is held to the responsibility of that life. So should any teen that makes the same choice.

I gotta make a response here, but not til tomorrow.

Wildflower, there is much to dispute in your post. I will respond to only this part though:



Yes, I agree. A high school education is a great way to do that. If there is a parent available who is able, willing, and qualified to homeschool the teen mom, excellent!

But it's a giant and erroneous assumption to say that every pregnant teen/ teen mom has such a parent. There are parents that need to work. (NEED to work, not just in terms of paying for the second SUV.) There are many parents who are unqualified. And I doubt many would be willing.

So, then what? You say the teen SHOULD be getting home schooling... OK. In an ideal situation. But the ideal won't occur much, and then... the teen recieves a sub-par, useless education? The parent is forced by the government to stay home? How would that work?

I couldn't tell from your post if you were being hypothetical when you talked about your own teen daughter becoming pregnant -- if that's not hypothetical, my sympathies and good for you for wanting to be there for her.

I should have said, "Assuming for a minute that it is an ideal situation," because I think that most of the time a school environment with peers and onsite daycare is actually the better situation, for many reasons.

I completely disagree, as posted, with day care in high schools. I also feel such government intrusion into family is wrong. I would pull my daughter out of a school with a day care also. Obviously, I don't have the same faith in government that many do. Look at history and question whether government has ever been worth trust of your child and influence to culture them. What do most of you think of VietNam or the Iraq wars? Do you trust that? I don't and neither should you. You should never completely trust you children's future to the government influence either.

Read about Hitler and the beginnings of communism. It all started with influence of the young. Adults are molded and formed. They cannot be influenced or changed as our youth can. I am no history buff at all, but not so ignorant not to see trends that never have ended. My children will and have been raised with my family values and beliefs with strong teaching of right and wrong. Given the lousy history of humanity, I would never turn over my teen daughter and her child to the government with an ounce of trust at all.

Do you realize that kids in high school spend as much time as full time employed adults with homework to do? I have very differing beliefs than people posting here. I strongly believe that parents should raise children, not some government program. Given that, I wish to see teen mothers care for their children at home.

Please, don't try to sell me that bull that parents aren't available or capable to be teachers. This is not a requirement of parents, but a simple responsibility of a teen to do simple work with a flexible schedule. This is a need for teen parents. I do not share the belief that teens are stupid. They aren't. They are young and immature is all, but far from stupid. They learn at a rapid pace. Every single home school program has a hotline number to call with any questions. Parents do not have to know how to do algebra. They just have to say, "Get busy!"

The home schooling programs are all state approved. You have a choice of what program you choose to take. I do not believe any parent has the ultimate responsibility to make sure their teen does their homework. We aren't allowed to sit in school with them every day or my son wouldn't be a drop out. They have a choice, in school or with home schooling. No state approves any program without a toll free number available to teens to ask for any help they may need.

An eduction is not up to a parent. It is up to the teen completely or my son would be headed for grad school. Making a claim that teachers and classrooms are utilized by the majority of students is outrageous. This stuff is reserved for the 'nerds' in the Chess Club, not the desired socially popular teen, which is the norm. This tells me that anyone making such a claim really doesn't understand the needs of a teen child of today. They don't care!! Look up teen psychology, if you don't believe me.

Teen psychological needs are socially oriented. If you want details, look them up yourself. A teen who would actively choose bringing a child into this world obviously doesn't prioritize their education of primary importance. That is normal for teens, but they don't have to bring children into this world to prove that point. My kids do an excellent job of that with no children.

Neither of my kids are stupid by any means. They both make stupid choices. My son can rip down a car engine at the age of 15. Most grown men can't do that. He has exceeded his own father. This is a serious ego bash to dad. The kid is self taught. All the neighbor know about his ability to fix anything and he now plays stupid because they have taken advantage of him. He is a high school drop out that sees logic that adult men don't often get.

My daughter is a so called 'gifted student'. Whatever! In the seventh grade, she scored high enough, 99, 99, and 95, to get her into college. Wow! What a fantastic opportunity. She is ashamed to do well in school thinking people will insult her. She also has a social life she cares much more about than serious opportunity that she sees as such a long way off. It isn't. She went from hitting honor roll without much work at all to barely passing.

As you can imagine, she got ousted from this college credit program because of her poor grades. They only want kids who will work, not ones who will blow off grades, as she does. Other students got into this as well. You can get in on one of three sections. My daughter hit all three and thought she had to. She has a few friends thrilled that they hit one. That confused and embarrassed her. She was the only one who hit all three areas, not just one. She blew it completely. She made this choice, not me. Try telling her how stupid she is being! It doesn't work.

Let's all be socialist assuming the individual is a moron. Let Big Daddy Government raise your children, because you can't. Make all the excuses you like for lack of parenting a life you brought into this world because life is just too hard. In reality, life really is that hard and our kids need to know this. They have to be stronger people. As parents, we don't have to know the latest in algebra. We lead the horse to water and let them choose whether or not to drink. We cannot control that choice.

I would love to know what made people of today think they are so stupid. Are we to assume parents are too stupid to tell their kids to get busy? Are we to assume teens lack intelligence? That is truly stupid assuming anything of the sort. We all make mistakes and have responsibilities. That does not make adult or teen so stupid that government has to intervene. This sort of mentality makes me want to move to Russia. At least they are willing to fight for freedom of choice. Americans are readily giving it up every day to government, which not only disappoints me, but also sickens me.

Be weak and let the government lead you around by the nose. I wont and neither will my children. I taught them to stand strong. They are, but not quite mature enough to live it. My son has made grand progress by working full time at my insistence. I forced him into an adult world with adult realities, not protected him from it.

Go ahead and criticize me and my judgement call all you want on this topic. I will not create social drones of government dependance or creation with my children or grandchildren. I fully checked into home schooling. Did you? You who oppose my opinion have no idea what you are talking about. Educate yourselves before making foolish statements of complete ignorance. Yes, that was an insult. Stop being stupid!

I said everything I need to on this subject. I will not engage in any debate of ignorance thinking government is the answer to our problems. It isn't.

Suggesting that other members are stupid because they disagree with you is probably not the best way to have people continue to discuss things with you, Wildflower.

Fer sure.

Quickly, though -- knowing it's futile -- of all the things to take issue with in your post, Wildflower, the one that stands out for me is the notion that having pregnant teens be homeschooled is the antithesis of letting the government lead you around by the nose.

Again, not all parents of these teens will just say, "Sure, gee, I'd love to homeschool my teen." A whole lot of them, for good reasons and bad, will say no. They don't have the money, they don't have the time, they don't have the know-how. So, then what? How are these parents compelled to homeschool their kids? What happens if they refuse?

Either some sort of Governmental program would have to step in -- laws, incentives, subsidies, and the like -- or the parents who say "no" would just not provide any education to their teens.

Then what?

I'm not trying to win friends. I am standing up for what I believe is right by the mother, child, and society. I think people are being closed minded on this issue, not considering alternatives. That, to me, is stupid. I'm not going to argue with anyone. I'm asking for people to consider other ways of dealing with this problem besides a day care center in our public high schools, which I find objectionable and I'm sure other parents aren't thrilled about this if it went into their schools as well.

I'm trying very hard to teach my teens responsibility and it is hard when they are so tempted to do anything their peers do to fit in. Such blatent irrisponsibility spits in my face teaching my teens a different message. It's ok. Everything is going to work out fine. That is a lie. I have two teens. Everything doesn't work out fine at all.

Even with the best planning, having a child is so difficult. I don't regret having my children but will admit that my life is far from ok today because I made that choice. I feel that people are severely underestimating the importance of bringing a life into this world. It really is that big of a deal.

Do you really think that teen age dad can realistically financially help? He can't. A teen girl is left holding the bag. With today's economy, it really doesn't matter if you are a high school drop out or have a diploma. Both will work for next to minimum wage. They need a higher education to support themselves and child. They need health insurance. A GED will cut it to get into college. They don't have to attend high school right now. They have an infant to take responsibility for.

This is an unfair burdon on the family of a teen girl. It is an unfair burdon on society. One sure fire way of ensuring the poverty cycle continue is to have children you cannot financially support and be able to offer them nothing in life. Displaying the ease of it to other teens is disaster.

How are parents supposed to help when they are working to support themselves and their own teen children? Teens know what kind of family they are from and what help their parents can realistically give them. Some familys refuse to help them at all based on the principle. Teens know this and make the choice to have a child anyway.

They shouldn't be left to starve. They should take responsibility for their actions and need some help. What kind of help should we give them to better their future, not create a poverty cycle lying to them telling them everything is going to be fine, when it probably is going to be very difficult, as with any parent.

Help them help themselves and their child. Don't enable irrisponsibility and continue the poverty cycle. They need realistic help to put them in society where they can financially support themselves and child. I think it's a little late for high school with an infant to care for, given there are alternatives for them.

I seem to be the only one looking for alternatives that will help teen mothers in the long run. Anyone else with any ideas besides putting a day care in a high school?? I don't see any. Let's hear a few and talk about it. There are other ways.

Of course there are other ways. Home schooling is one of them. I am not saying that no teen mothers should be homeschooled; I'm saying its impractical for ALL teen mothers to be home schooled.

Why? They do the work themselves with a toll free number for help. They have flexibility to care for their baby. They don't need parents to help them. They have everything they need right in front of them. Where do you find a problem with this? I find it a fantastic alternative they need. I am open to other suggestions, but haven't heard a single one besides my own ideas.

I think it is impractical to send them to high school. We all know how much time they spend there, most of it wasted because of teen social antics that is valuable time spent with their infant child.

They can drop out of school altogether without hurting their financial future. They can get a GED and go to college or trade school when the child is a little older. I'm a high school drop out. It was not because of pregnancy. I was an a stupid teenager making stupid decisions. I was another short sighted teen with an evening job that thought the future was an eternity away.

This is how I know for fact that there is a lot of wasted time in the classroom. Things really haven't changed all that much. They still have an overly crowded room full of short sighted teens thinking school is a pain in the butt, yet a great place to socialize with their friends. I don't feel teen parents have this sort of time to waste when their child needs their love and care. I barely did any work at all, but still passed every grade. I even slept in class. I was tired working an evening job and staying up too late. All teens love cash and so did I. I got a GED and now have a college degree.

What did I lose being a high school drop out? Absolutely nothing at all. What did I gain? A lot. I worked full time and was forced to grow up. I did much more rapidly than if I had stayed in high school, which I didn't take seriously enough to stay awake for, but still passed every grade. High school really is that easy to pass and does have enough wasted time to sleep through and still pass, just as I did. I just thought it was stupid and quit one day. My mother flipped out. I figured this was another one of her neurotic reactions and didn't take her seriously and was right. It isn't that serious at all. This problem is easily solved, complete with a college degree, as I have.

We have to grow up sometime. Most kids are far from college ready right after high school. A few are and do just fine. Most teens need time to work for minimum wage for a few and get sick of it. Finally, they have motivation to further their education. It never was an issue of lack of intelligence. It is an issue of responsibility, lack of maturity, and being the typical short sighted thinking a year is forever when it really isn't, as all adults know.

These girls are going to have to grow up a little faster than their peers because they are now parents. I had to grow up being a high school drop out with a full time job too. Don't underestimate teens or treat them as if they were grade school children. They are far from that making stupid decisions no parent has control over. They are young.

This was a dramatic adjust for me, as an adult, having an infant depending on me for life. It is even harder for a teen. I find it difficult to believe teen mothers don't have the same love for their children that I did. They need guidance to help them make this adjustment. They will never learn how to care for their infant child if adults find it suitable to do it for them. I would have never figured it out if my mother came in and took over my son. I was left alone with an infant I had no idea how to care for, but had people to call and tried, just as any teen should be given this opportunity to try and love their own child, not stay ignorant because adults removed this responsibility from them.

I am saying to do the right thing by teen mothers. There are a lot of things in life you will live to regret and feel guilt about. Teens are powerless, given the fact that they are minors. They very well may regret the fact that their child grew up in a high school day care center in adulthood because they felt there were no other options. Adults never gave them any.

They ship them off to school assuming they are exactly the same person they were before pregnancy. They aren't. They are mothers that love their children, but young and need guidance. It really doesn't take that much time out of your busy schedule to give this to them. If any parent is so busy with their own life that they are unfit to give their minor child guidance they need, this is legal neglect and the child should be removed from their home. Teen mothers of today will grow up and very well may blame others later who forced them to go to school, not care for their child. I can't really say that I blame them if options were never given, just one choice by parents of dictation, which teen mothers have no control or choice in the matter.

We are talking about the future of our children and grandchildren. Can't we be a little more creative? I think we can. This is exactly why I used the term stupid and meant it. I want to see people think beyond the easy answer of government day care in a high school. We are all individuals with differing needs and abilities. We all have something to contribute to society.

Some need something outside the typical high school environment to thrive. I did. My father did. So does my own son, but I don't give up on him or think he is anything less than intelligent because of failure to thrive in a high school environment. Today, my high school drop out father can afford to buy and sell me. He got a GED and an adult high school diploma. He learned rapidly in the Air Force and vocational school. I learned rapidly in a university. My son is not unlike my father or me. He isn't cut out for high school, which this sort of failure makes so many adults think they are not intelligent. It isn't true.

Higher education is the answer, in an environment where they are not treated like children. Any teen parent is not a child and should never be expected to act like one or you are doing them no favor at all, just teaching them irresponsibility with high school day care. You only have to choose which road to take and there are a lot of them with higher education, not public high school. There are better options out there besides public school. Teen mothers need to know that high school is not a big deal. The next step they take can take them anywhere they want in the right environment for them to thrive.

Not going to high school is far from the end of the world. This situation can easily be corrected. The situation of a teen parent can't. Give them options that fit their parenting and educational needs. How do you think they feel when they are constantly faced with the fact that they are now misfits with peers. They can no longer hang out with friends. I see how my son and his friends act. This is no place to be bringing an infant. I like kids, even teens, as horrible as they act.

I would tell any teen mother to leave my house immediately, if they ever brought an infant or very young child around my teen son and his friends. My son and friends are not bad people at all. I do not believe that their lifestyle is anything any child should have to endure because of a teen parent trying to be what they once were. They have to give this lifestyle up because they have something more important, their child. How are they supposed to do that when adult parents trow them right back into high school mentality, with no guidance because they are too busy?

Well, parent's make the time for your own teen child in need or you aren't parents at all. Parents who do nothing but make excuses working to pay for their SUV are guilty of child neglect. Maybe we, as parents, did not choose to be gradparents by a teens supid decision. They are minors and we still owe them guidance with or without children. I don't feel this constant contrast, of tossing a teen parent right back into high school with day care, is healthy for any teen mother who probably will attempt to fit in, dragging an infant with them places a child should never be.

Teen mentality is known. Don't ignore it. I'm pretty sure I was far from the only immature teen, since I had tons of friends equally as stupid as I was. Please, don't try to sell me that you were so perfect. If you were, you were some nerd in the Chess Club or band or Chemistry Club or something equally uncool and complete social outcast, which no teen desires to be. So, unless I am talking to a bunch of high school nerds, which I seriously doubt, I ask you to think back to yourself and your own thoughts and behavior as a teen. Haven't we changed a lot? We are grandly mistaken applying adult thought to teens. They think vastly differently than we do.

Teen mothers have a huge adjustment to make. Don't make it harder by forcing them into high school with day care. There are plenty of young mothers for them to associate with who share the exact same difficulties who wish to try to be a parent and reach goals to independently support their child. I'm sure there are support groups and alternatives somewhere. These are the people they need to be associating with, not teens who are looking for the next social gathering where it is inappropriate for an infant or very young child by going back to high school complete with day care robbing them of parenting their child. I see this as clearly wrong for many reasons.

I don't understand why others cannot come up with something to suggest for these teen mothers aside from what the government offers as some easy fix, when it isn't. High school day care is a bad idea for many reasons. Again, I would like to hear other alternatives for teen mothers. Will I? I doubt it since everyone seems so stuck on an easy out that is only easy in short term, yet creates big problems later.

Wildflower - Wow, you are passionate - I like passion.

But I do think that your "one-size fits all" way of thinking may lead you to be swimming in an XL t-shirt sometime when really you probably need a small.

It seems to me that you're carrying around a lot of baggage about having had children and that you feel everyone else should grab a bag and haul it around too, even the kids.

You've written a ton of stuff on here and I'm going to try to address the critical points.


1. Day-care in high-school makes teens think it's easy to have and care for babies. (Your point of view)

I went to a high-school with a day-care. I'm only 10 years out of highschool so I'm not so far away from it that I think "damn irresponsible kids who are lazy and spoiled."

There were a number of girls who had and kept their babies in our hometown. Some home-schooled and some continued going to school at the public school (after taking a year out to care for their babies the way a working mother would). Having the daycare in the school was, in fact, a deterrent to other girls having babies. When the girls would see their friends who were mothers spending every break, lunch-hour, and evening with their babies and not their friends they saw what an effect having a child at a young age had to their social lives.

If the girls were to have left the public school and home-schooled themselves, the girls who were in highschool would have been left to dream about the "wonderful life" those young mothers were having, rather than witnessing the reality of what being a young mother is like.

I believe that day-care in high-school is a good way to allow mothers to finish their education and to enlighten other students as to the trials, tribulations, and sacrifices a teen mother has to make. I'm all for choices, like home-schooling, but I want the choice of in-school day-care to be there for young mothers.


2. You are complaining that your children aren't living up to their potential but are claiming that you know what is best.

As far as I'm concerned, there is a real disconnect in your logic here. The best leaders lead by example, rather than purely based on words. If you'd found the "right" way to parent then you'd be pointing at your children and saying "see" and people would think, "Wow...wildflower's kids sure turned out well, she must know what she's talking about."

**note at this point that your kids sound great and normal to me, but they don't sound like they are the perfect little role-models - giving you the weight to say you KNOW how it should be done. I'm also a believer that "everything will be okay" and there is very little in life that effects "your permanent record."


3. You claim that high-school daycare is a "government intrusion" into families?

It's been my experience that high-school daycares usually employ child-care workers and have some volunteers on hand. I've never seen any "shiny, black FBI shoes" in any of the daycare centres.

When a child is very young, I think that the daycare workers are more likely attending to their basic needs (ie. feeding, changing, providing stimulus and comfort) as opposed to indoctrinating the children with a governmental agenda...just a guess.


4. Hitler, Vietnam, and Iraq - You brought all three of these topics into a thread about high-school daycare.

Are you for real?


5.

If you are of the belief that life is that hard, why would you want to make it "that hard" even earlier than it needs to be? Should we start when they're really young and impressionable and take away Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy too? I mean come on, it's not like those kids earned the quarter they get for their teeth!

Maybe as soon as they learn what "work" is, we should tell them that this is what every day for the rest of their life will consist of and offer them the option to end their existence at that point?

I find so often that children who are TOLD that "life is hard" and "daddy knows best" are often the one's who turn around and sell that BS to their own children.

Granted, there are a number of difficult things that life brings with it, but there are oh so many beautiful things too, rich or poor. Teaching a child to think independently and provide reasons for their actions is what I believe parents should be teaching their kids. We do that by providing them with reasons for our actions, rather than the standard "Because I said so." Telling people they are stupid, particularly kids, because they don't agree with your point of view isn't a very constructive way of dealing with people. Makes a lot more sense to explain why you hold your point of view and then be receptive to their arguments - both parties might learn something that way.

Teaching kids to be compassionate, understanding, and reasonable people should be parents and school's first and foremost priorities; making "good" people. Technical and job-ready skills can be learned at any time in life, but laying the foundation for who someone is going to be happens once.


MY PERFECT WORLD (RE: Teen Pregnancy)

Now I'm going to give you a few of my thoughts on the whole teen-pregnancy dilemma. In my perfect world all teens who got pregnant would choose to have abortions and wait until they were ready to have children.

I wish that every child that came into this world was a "wanted" child, rather than punishment for having sex. Unfortunately a big portion of our society sees abortion as abhorrent - I don't understand their point of view but will live with the fact that's what they believe.

Once someone's decided to have a baby, rather than abort it, I think the right thing to do is to shift gears and celebrate the life - making the best of a potentially tough situation. Like when you spill milk, you can cry or get mad, or you can grab a rag and clean it up. Punishing young mothers for their choices or excluding them from society isn't going to help them or society.

Life is as hard or as easy as we collectively make it. If we provide daycare services for young mothers it will offer them the chance at an education and a chance to advance their earning potential and job fulfillment. It may not be everyone's first choice, but it needs to be a choice that everyone can make.

Once again, Wildflower, I love your passion.

Please go at what I've said here and educate me where you see fit. That's how I learn.

I apologize if you understood my thoughts to be of a singular nature. I intended to send just the opposite message. This is the message I intended to send:

1) No matter how hard you try, your teen children are going to act stupid. It is not any parent's fault who tried to teach them and spend time with their children. Children make choices for themselves, which parents have no control over.

People are making a grand mistake if they are dumb enough to belive proper parenting results in the perfect child. I'll visit them in that big castle where they reside in Disney World, if anyone is dumb enough to belive that. Here are some words of wisdom, it isn't your fault if your teen acts horrible!! They made the choice, not you!!

2) Home schooling has many different programs that a teen mother may opt for as suitable for her needs. I wish to offer them something that suits the individual. I checked into this option for my own son. I decided against it.

Done with that one. Given the fact that this is probably a guy who posted, I'm sure guys do look at these girls in high school bringing babies as stupid. So does my son. You can't force a minor boyfriend and father of a child to take much of any responsibility. Boys know this, which is exactly why they think these girls are stupid. I hear it all from my son and his friends.

I also hear my daughter and her friends talk. They view things very differently. I wont risk my daughter in a school with day care. They play victim of dick happy teen boys who couldn't care less who gives them sex, just as long as they get it. My daughter understands this mentality. She grew up with a brother and his massive group of friends four years older. They even thought she was a cute little project. She is attractive, which is the #1 concern of teen boys. My son will rip the throat out of any of his friends who hit on her, but a few have.

It could easily be my daughter or one of her sexually active friends, in the near future, with a baby to care for. Men and women think just as differently as teen boys and girls. It just happens to be that the boys are on the mark with this issue. It is stupid.

Teen girls get wrapped up in the emotional aspects, where they boys don't. Teen girls many times make the mistake of sex as love. Guys don't get this idea at all. Sex means sex. Love means love. The guys happen to be correct with this one.

These teen girls are not unlike women at all. Men and boys aren't the ones carrying life in their body, so it is understandable how they can see it more objectively than a teen girl can. It does not excuse behavior equally of either parent. We all know who will ultimately pay the price, the girl or woman who carries out a pregnancy out of love for a child, not necessarily the father.

Males will never understand how horrible opting for abortion really is, even if it is in everyone's best interest, including the unborn with a kid as a parent and no father or family support. The child's life will be very difficult also. Guys think it is just something unpleasant, like having a filling done at the dentist office. It isn't. It is a choice of life or death for any pregnant teen or adult woman. Many choose life, even if difficult. I probably wouldn't make the same choice, but women do have the right to make it.

They do have to live with the reality of their choice also, often with no help at all from the biological father. No wonder guys think we are stupid. They wouldn't do it. The only problem with that theory is the fact that guys could not possibly understand pregnancy, love for the unborn in their body, and love for the life they brought into this world. Guys can disassociate completely and many times do. Emotion makes women stupid and that I can agree on.

With the differences in psychology of men, women, boys, and girls, I don't like what it may teach my daughter, given she does have sexually active friends at the grand age of 13. I completely agree, boys see this topic very differently than girls. I would yank my daughter out of any school with a day care center. I don't trust it at all.

As far as political beliefs go, what government is sending in uniformed men to change social culture among young people? None, throughout history, would dare to try this measure of stupidity. It is subtle, but does exist. It never did end with Hitler or Stalin (is that how you spell it?). It has not ended today either. That is why children need family to teach them, not rely on school and government programs to brainwash the young. This is why I strongly feel that parents should raise children, not our government programs. Just read your history and you don't have to be a pro to figure it out.

I feel it is a larger one than we believe. What does this country stand for? Freedom, individuality, etc. This includes choices for our young to carry on the beliefs of the American Way. I watch people of our country freely give up rights every day out of fear of responsibility that seems overwhelming. Freedom isn't free and where on earth did people of today take this for granted when so many have died fighting for the rights we so easily give up today for free choice, not government intervention.

I am very passionate about this issue. I want a better life for my children and grandchildren than what I had. I want them to be responsible adults that take the good with the bad in order to live with freedom of choice, not like the communist of the past opting for ease of government instead of using their heads making choices in the best interest of their teen parent.

Any parent claiming their teen is so perfect either got lucky, like winning the lottery, or is a liar that wont face up to the truth and wants to save face. At least I am honest about myself and family and the problems I face and deal with every day to guide my children.

No matter how stupid my teen's choices of today are, I know that they are good people and have faith in them. I am always here to help guide them, not bail them out. I'm the only parent they have. Their father couldn't care less. At least I try, which is more than I can say for a lot of people who would like to bury their head in the sand forcing their teens to be liars. I have seen a bit too much of that and will not do that to my children. This is a good thing, not a parenting flaw.

I'm off my soap box!!

What i think of childcare in highschools
i am in fact a teenage mother and thank God i already finished highschool. for all you tax payer that are pro childcare in highschool, thank God i didn't need your taxes because my mom took care of my daughter. i think who ever talked bad about young parents are wrong to generalize and say that we are bad parents, because we are young.

i'm going to a community college right now and planning to go to A&M university afterwards. i want to be a teacher and my husband is going to be a register nurse and maybe if time a doctor. he works in a bank right now, that pays him $9/hr. i do not work

as you can see i been married 3 yrs now and i got married when i was 14 and had my baby when i turned 15. as you can see we are young and not stupid!!!!!!! he is 19 and really responsable. believe we do live a good life and i do not ask for food staps, walfare, or any government help, he doesn't want to.

so for all you negative people IN YOUR FACE for desiring hell for us young people having kids. I THINK DAY CARE MAKES IT EASIER FOR YOUNG MOTHERS, GO FOR IT AND IT HELPS THEM TO KEEP GOING AND DOES NOT GIVES THEM AN EXCUSE IF THEY DON'T FINISH HIGHSCHOOL!!

LENE, I think if you'll read through this thread, you'll find many of us agree with you.

You sound like a very responsible young lady. Good for you! I'm glad to hear you're continuing your education. It's the best thing you can do for yourself AND for your child. But I'm sure you already know that.

Oh, and welcome to A2K!

Lene, I am not criticizing all teen parents as being bad ones. Obviously, with family help, you made it work for you. I'm sure it was far from easy for you. I am very happy that all is well and you are getting educated.

I have two views on this subject.
1) Homeschooling is far better, in preparing for college and life that public school.
2) All young people, under 18, have the legal right to acquire an education by whichever means they feel serves them best. If a teen parent feels s/he should attend public school, then it's the government's responsibility to make it possible; since this is government school we're talking about.

A homeschooling teens doesn't need parents standing over their shoulder to make them learn, they need to have the desire and motivation to pursue learning on their own. This is what they will have to do in college. In college they won't have teachers telling them what to study and when. They will have homework assignments to turn in, but they won't be given a detailed schedule to follow as they did in their younger years; they will have to create their own schedule, making time for all the important activities.
It is my opinion that high school is a complete waste of time; it doesn't prepare anyone for college, much less life.

As a high school drop out and college graduate, I couldn't agree more with this post. This is a very valid message. Those who make fantastic grades, in high school, with ease of fantastic grades, do not necessarily make it through college. They are often arrogant and fail out. My brother and best friend are excellent examples of this. Everything came so easy to them that they forgot to study, in college. Both, my brother and best friend with fantastic high school grades, failed out of college. I didn't!

I passed every class I slept through in high school before being a know it all teen and quit going. My high school grades were nothing to brag about, but passing. My grades may have been lousy, but I could have graduated from high school easily. I thought using drugs constantly was much more fun, at the time and quit going. On drugs, I was still passing high school. That is just how much of a no brainer high school really is!! Yes, I did finally grow up and quit this drug lifestyle nonsense before turning 18 even. I was sick of it all. Just an FYI! lol!!

I am a high school drop out, who you would think of as a complete failure with education. You would think my brother and best friend would make it way past me, but this isn't true. I am the only one with a college degree and job requiring licensing and further education. My brother and best friend have almost the same job. One is a mail person and the other delivers packages for FedX with good benefits and good pay. I would trade them any day!

Their jobs are low stress, but they are very lucky to have this pay and benefits. Most high school grads do not and scrap hard for their paycheck, unlike my brother and best friend. It is the end of the road for them, but not for me. At least I do have choice, but they don't, no matter how jealous I am of their pay, benefits, and low stress jobs. Who would figure?

Not everyone is conformist enough to pass high school. People fool themselves into thinking they are stupid because of this. Not everyone is cut out for this style of education the government offers. I never was! Some of those who do well, do not do so well in college thinking it is going to come easy and without self discipline.

This post is so correct. It is about motivation and self discipline, nothing more. I thrived in college. I hated high school and quit. It really is all about what you really want to do. Home schooling is completely dependent on the individual, just as higher education is. No one is going to tell you to do homework in college. You better get with it or fail out. You can't compare the two. They are drastically different.

If you can't get through home schooling, you will not make it in a university setting. A high school diploma does nothing for you in today's work force. You are set at minimum wage and lucky to get above it. Higher education is necessary. There really is no big deal whether or not you get a high school diploma, if you don't further your education. You are worth the exact same, minimum wage and lucky to get above it.