daughter`s pain

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i have an adult daughter who has made some unhealthy choices in her life.my grandson`s father is in prison for murder.my other grandson`s father would leave her when ever things got difficult.the next guy would beat her in front of her kids.i called the police numerous times to check on her.this last relationship caused my wife and me many sleepless nights.through all of this i have always been there to help.our relationship has always been strained.she also has been homeless.she just got a job ,i lent her money for an apartment.i told her i could no longer support her unhealthy choices if she continued she would not be able to come home .i said i would report her to cps if she neglected her kids. i do not know how else to deal with this.

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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 1,028 • Replies: 6

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@501bob,

She just got a job. How about offering to watch her kids while she works? That way, they wouldn't be neglected or abused and your daughter would be able to keep her job.

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@501bob,

Have you ever thought of attending support groups? They aren't just about the people with problems, but also usually for family of people with problems. The same goes with counselling sessions (they are for family as well as for the person with problems).

In many places, support services can also be accessed via a phone call - though of course, those sort of things are for shortish conversations.

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@vikorr,

childcare is being provided,we have also spoken to a therapist.her advice was to not help and let her accept the consequences of her actions.

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@501bob,

That therapist was wrong! It might be too late to help your daughter, if she won't accept your help or make changes to better her life, but you have two grandsons who might need you dearly.
They should not grow up in such unstable and violent environment and
I think you should be there for them. You are saying that childcare is provided, but why don't you take over and do that? Be a good, stable influence in their lives and perhaps be a (grand)father figure for them,
since neither father is involved in their lives.

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@501bob,

501bob wrote:

childcare is being provided,we have also spoken to a therapist.her advice was to not help and let her accept the consequences of her actions.

Sure, but that also means that the kids suffer the consequences. In your position I would do the tough love thing, but I would also be prepared to fight to sever her parental rights, I would try to take the kids if she failed to get her life together, assuming that she refused to given them over voluntarily.

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@hawkeye10,

i have mentioned getting custody if she could not care for my grandkids,that will be my next step if she doesn`t make healthy choices.i love these two boys

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daughter`s pain

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