Sack trouble.

Have you talked to him about it?

Yep, but then he tried turning it around on me and blaming me for it. It's funny I've never had this problem before in past relationships.

Can you be constructive about it? A game? I'll ____ if you ____, whatever?

The criticizy/ blamey stuff probably won't get either of you very far. No better libido-killer.

Tell me about it. Havn't thought about games, but it could be something to consider. It just pisses me off that he can be so overly giving in every other aspect(sorry to repeat myself) I just don't understand that.

It sounds like one of those things that aren't so much about nuts and bolts but more about the underlying issues. Maybe if you talk about that stuff, that'll solve the sack issues. Like, maybe your resentment of the fact that he is "overly giving" is something he senses, or that he is annoyed that you don't acknowledge all he does for you and that makes him indisposed to giving MORE, especially if withholding gives him some power, etc., etc., etc.

Good luck!

That's a good point sozobe. Something definatley has to happen. This relationship just seemed to go way too fast and with that things get old quickly. Thanks for the advise.

Sure! Hope talking can help clear the air.

Yeah, talking to him about it is the best way.

Good luck and welcome to A2K :-D

Have you tried doing it standing up in a hammock?

It's exciting and challenging.

"Hello people of A2K"

That's Atookans, bub.

I say......take the bull by the horns :wink: If you have tried talking to him and it hasn't done any good.....then pull his reigns back a little bit and YOU take control.

I believe that the more you give to your partner....the more you will get back. IN and OUT of the bedroom. But since this is about the bedroom...if I were you, I would be the agressor. Let him follow your lead and if he trys to get to the "meat" of things too quickly....pull back.

Without being too "blunt"....try softly trailing kisses up and down his body....and in between each kiss....tell him one thing you would like him to do to your body. When you are all done.....ask him to do the same for you. It might kick-start his foreplay. And would be a good way for you both to learn what the other likes....and sometimes learning in a sensual way is much better then talking. Men are pretty defensive anyways. Sometimes it's hard to get them to listen.

As a side-note.......Making love is an expression of the love you feel for that other person. Sometimes.....it's meant to be soft and gentle. Other times....it's meant to be passionate and heated. But always, when you fall back exhausted in each others arms....you are meant to be held. That can be one of the most tender moments of making love. If you are getting none of that.....you will always feel like you do now. Unfullfilled.

And life is too short for that

But hey....what do I know

~Brooke

Have you tried crying your self to sleep?My wife does it all the time and it seems to work for her!

I have to ask....what is it exactly about him being overly giving in most aspects out of the sack that annoys you so much? I am certain that he senses this, and on a subconscious, passive-aggressive level, he is taking his own resentment out on you in bed, by giving you selfish, crappy sex. He probably doesn't know exactly what to do here, so talking is good. Also, ask yourself this question: What if he wasn't so giving? What if he treated you like crap? Would the resulting "make-up" sex be better? I'm not trying to be harsh, just asking you to examine some questions.

Well I talked to him today alittle, just asked him a few questions. I asked him if he resented me for anything now or in the past. He said, "no I havn't and I never would". I asked him if he thinks I don't treat him as good as he treats me, he said, "You treat me just as good, you show me you love me in so many ways".
And to answer the question: "what if he wasn't so giving?" Well i've made him well aware that I don't need him to be that way or want him to be that way. I appreciate it but sometimes it gets to be to much. He said he knows he doesn't have to be the way is is but he wants to do everything and anything he can for me.
"what if he treated you like crap? Would the resulting make-up sex be better?" Well when he's an ass to me the sex is actually better.
It's not like it's always like this, it's kinda like pms. It happens at least once a month for a period of time when he seems like he just doesn't care how i feel.

How about the hammock? Did you try that?

lol...not yet, I do have a hammock...lol....but it appears there is still 2 feet off snow on the ground outside.

Ok, well keep us posted.

Ok well here's the deal, we talked again, but thoroughly this time. He admitted he was being selfish in bed. I told him I wasn't turned on by him anymore, like I don't want to kiss him or anything anymore because of all this. He said he's noticed that I don't feel into him like before and thats part of it. And just a whole bunch of little things. I honestly thought guys didn't give a **** as long "as they were getting laid, hey who cares." But my man is more sensitive then I am. Really weird. Anyway, so this past weekend we started trying to be romantic kinda thing again. And he's now trying hard to please me, and i'm feeling somewhat better about things, we'll see how it carries on. So yeah, thats the scoop.

Hey, communication. Good for you.

Sometimes the chemistry just ain't there, of course, but great that you're talking and working on it instead of just sweeping it under the rug.