Need a mans advice, thanks

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Hello ladies & gents. Iam 23 & my bf of 4 yrs is 27. We've been living together for 2 yrs. I love sex w/ him want and initiate it. Always go down on him, wear the things he likes. I love him so much and he feels the same. Says he wants to marry me soon but is having $$ issues. He's currently not employed. I am I work from 3pm till about 10 sometimes midnight By the time I come home. I shower quickly/ change into something more comfortable and sexy. And start initiating sex and he says " no I'm tired" I love sex essp. At night I feel I fall asleep alot faster & better. This has been going on forever. I lost count how many times I was shut down. However once the morning comes he rises , watches porn and has a huge hard on and I even get up and give him oral and all. Bc I know that's wat he likes. He only wants it in the morning. Me at night. When we were dating we'd do it whenever wherever a few times a day and now I ask/ beg its a no & he won't do it a few times a day now. Idk what's his deal. Tried talking it got no where. He's even gotten out of shape and me, I'm 5'7 130. 36/25/39. I don't care that he gained weight I love him and told him. I care for his heart that's all. But still. I can't understand this. I don't wanna cheat I just want more sex and affection from him. I tell him it upsets me and he says he will try but he doesn't. And finds all the time in the world to do other things like watch porn, play video games. Not job hunt. I have adapted to him and his needs and he always has fresh clothes, his d#*k sucked every morning! Even though I work nights the house is always clean and I always make sure to cook something for him so he has dinner.always submit to him bc thats what he likes. I know he loves me but wtf I don't get this. Can someone please give me advise. A man preferably. Sometimes I feel like even bringing a sexy girl into our sex life bc I want to do it and i KnoW he would love this. But Ive even told him I want to but I doubt he can handle making 2 women orgasm when he barley does it for me. But he insists he can essp. Bc it's something he always wanted. Idk I just feel like an asshole. I get hit on soooooooo many times a day. And that bothers me that majority of men want to have sex w/ me and the one I love I have to beg like a dog. And I know for a fact if it was 1 am & I ask for it or initiate it he gives me a no but If another women (3some) was present he'd rise to the ceiling for it. I really don't know what to do Ive even stopped giving him morning head and sex bc I don't think it's fair that he ALWAYS gets it when he wants it and I have to beg and be turned down.

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Do you think you could write that again, in English this time?

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@SmartSexyChic,

Yours is not an unique situation. Many couples find themselves a little bored with the same routine after being together for a few years.
Each individual situation is different, so I can only guess what might be at the root of your issue, but it's a guess based on years of experience.
One thing to consider is that by now he may find your sexual advances to be predictable.
Perhaps, since he knows what's going to happen every night, he is bored with it and has come to expect it. So, he opts to put things off until morning, when he knows he can have things his way. Men become erect in the mornings, so naturally, he's rested and ready to go.
How would he react if you did not come on to him?
Have you tried changing the routine? The location? Do the two of you go out?
Yes. He probably would rise to the occasion if you brought another woman in. Most people will find energy when an opportunity to fulfill a sexual fantasy presents itself. But you may be opening a big can of 'what the hell did I get myself into?'
You've been with him long enough to know what arouses him. Maybe try being a little more cunning and creative.

Remember, you've got honey...I don't recall honey EVER having to beg bees to partake

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@nqyringmind,

WTH, are you reading what she put out there? She does just about everything for this prick and what the hell does she get in return: a lazy slob that looks at porn and plays video games while his girlfriend supports him financially. She cooks for him, does the laundry and gives him oral sex every morning, because that prick wants it. You have the audacity to advice her to do even more...where the hell are you from? Lala land?

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@SmartSexyChic,

I am sorry, you might be pretty and sexy but smart you are not.
Why on earth do you support a loser like this? Not only that - you wait hand and foot on him, while he doesn't even look for a job. At night he's tired from watching porn and playing video games and you have to beg for sex like a dog (your own words).

If you want to continue being treated like a dog, go ahead, if you want to have a relationship with an equal partner, then look for someone else.
You've got a loser on your hands - a real loser!!

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@SmartSexyChic,

Perhaps it would be helpful to restructure your post like such :

Quote:

When we were dating we'd do it whenever wherever a few times a day. I love sex w/ him want and initiate it. Always go down on him, wear the things he likes.

I love him so much and he feels the same. Says he wants to marry me soon but is having $$ issues. He's currently not employed, (and doesn’t) job hunt.

I am I work from 3pm till about 10 sometimes midnight. I come home, change into something sexy and start initiating sex and he says " no I'm tired".
This has been going on forever. I lost count how many times I was shut down. and now I ask/ beg its a no. Tried talking it got no where. I tell him it upsets me and he says he will try but he doesn't.

However…in comparison : Sometimes I feel like even bringing a sexy girl into our sex life bc I want to do it and i KnoW he would love this. I doubt he can handle making 2 women orgasm when he barley does it for me. But he insists he can essp. Bc it's something he always wanted.

And for further comparison : And finds all the time in the world to do other things like watch porn, play video games.

And yet again : However once the morning comes he rises , watches porn and has a huge hard on and I even get up and give him oral and all. Bc I know that's wat he likes.

So that’s how he treats you. Now look at how you treat him :

I have adapted to him and his needs and he always has fresh clothes, his d#*k sucked every morning! Even though I work nights the house is always clean and I always make sure to cook something for him so he has dinner , always submit to him bc thats what he likes. I don't care that he gained weight I love him and told him. I care for his heart that's all. But still. I can't understand this.

So the end result is : I have to beg like a dog.

And this is one of the ways it makes you feel : I really don't know what to do Ive even stopped giving him morning head and sex bc I don't think it's fair that he ALWAYS gets it when he wants it and I have to beg and be turned down.

A number of things you should know about people in general :
1. People always make time for the things that are the most important in their life, no matter how busy they are
2. People tend to respect those that respect themselves, and take advantage of those that don't. They don't respect people that they can take advantage of (no matter what they say).
3. The thought & effort they put into an activity shows how much they value it.
4. Love doesn't = a lasting & happy relationship. Love + compatibility does.

Keeping those things in mind - have a read over your post again.

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I'm going to back up CJ on this one. Why would you want to be with someone who simply sits around all day watching porn and playing video games while you provide for his every need? I don't get it.

As far as why he turns you down at night, maybe it is because he spends his day getting off numerous times while watching his porn and has no interest in sex when you get home.

Please wake up and realize that he may not change because right now he has it all, a roof over his head and a woman to wait on him like some kind of servant. You even provide him with sex on his terms. Again, I just don't get why you would want to put up with that.

Kick him out or move out and tell him the two of you can talk once he gets his life in order. Maybe that will motivate him.

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@SmartSexyChic,

Since I don't know you or your man, and I only know the issue you address in this forum, I would NEVER disrespect either of you to the degree that I would call you names and capsulize your entire being with broad brushstrokes based on some personal anger and bitterness that I may need to address in a post myself.
Perhaps that's why you asked for advise from men.
You have made the choice to try to work this issue out with the man you love. Although I may not agree with some of your methods, I understand that the reason you came to this forum is that, at 23 years old, you may be seeking the advice of more mature individuals.
It's not easy to open up about such personal issues because of fear of criticism and judgement.
I admire your commitment to making the relationship work.
We all have faults. You believe he loves you and you love him. You have been with him for 4 years and are considering marriage. You have obviously not given up on the idea of making this work.
Prior to and during marriage, you will no doubt face even greater challenges.
You'll find that the reasons for certain behaviors are typically not superficial.
If there comes a time when you decide it is not going to work out, then move on. You know your limits.
Until then, remain optimistic.

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Need a mans advice, thanks

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