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Thu 12 Feb, 2004 08:40 am
Love this:
Paul Revere's Mother
I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!
Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary's Mother
I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?
Mona Lisa's Mother
After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?
Humpty Dumpty's Mother
Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!
Columbus's Mother
I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!
Babe Ruth's Mother
Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!
Michelangelo's Mother
Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
Napoleon's Mother
All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!
Custer's Mother
Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!
Abraham Lincoln's Mother
Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?
Barney's Mother
I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple.
Mary's Mother
I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.
Batman's Mother
It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?
Goldilock'sMother
I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?
Little Miss Muffet's Mother
Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!
Albert Einstein's Mother
But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something ...?
George Washington's Mother
The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!
Jonah's Mother
That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days.
Superman's Mother
Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?
Thomas Edison's Mother
Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!
Forgot to add this:
You got any funny responses to famous mothers?
When my mom taught in a one room school house, she gave a history test that was simple but open ended:
Tell all you know about George Washington and Lafayette:
Answer from a student:
George Washington he fit the Indians; Lafayette he fit 'em too.
Mother Teresa is one of the most famous of Mothers.
Hey, Miller. No one would deny that. Odd that you should have a moniker like "Miller". My mother's father was a miller, and died at age 39 from typhoid fever. My mother contracted it also, but survived with no ill effects.
Have you any famous answers to Mothers in history?
How about the biblical "Eve"?
Erma Bombeck
Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"
Hey Letty, why don't you name the mid-wives who helped in the birth of these saucepan lids
Hmmm, Miller. What about the biblical Eve? What did she say to Adam?
Keep your hands off my ribs?
Colorbook, Erma was so great. "If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?"
C.S. That must be rhyming cockney: Sauce pan lids-kids, right?
Mother's response to midwife. "Are we there yet?"
Mary's mother to Mary:
I don't care what that angel told you, Mary. You're in deep trouble.
Mark Spitz' mother:
"Get out of the swimming pool, you're going to catch a cold"
Mahatma Gandhi's mother:
"Eat your supper! I won't stand another of your quiet tantrums!"
fbaezer, love it!
Bill Clinton's mother:
I told you those cigars were bad for your health.
Nathan Hale's mother:
You've only got one life. Don't throw it away for some hopeless cause.
only one life ? no rehearsals ? strewth. you got to do it all in 1 take, word perfect & no continuity cock ups . Well stroll on & stuff a ferret. Well how doe Geo W Bush get away with it then ????????????
heh..heh! " stroll on and stuff a ferret?" funnnneeeeeee.
George's Bush's mother:
No, George. You CANNOT go to England and play with Tony. You are going to stay right here until you learn to read this primer.
Dante's Mother:
I told you not to play with matches. You could cause this chalet to become an inferno.
General McArthur's mother:
"Are you coming back?"
Lady margaret Beaufort, Mother of Henry VII, and therefore mother of the Tudor dynasty.
Helena, mother of Constantine.
Margery Kempe, mother of 14, wannabe saint.
Good one, Gus.
Hobitbob's mother:
Bob, will you please get your nose out of those dusty tomes, and go outside and play?
Mao's Mother:
Most young men your age have a little black book. Yours, of course, has to be red.
Deadalus to Icarus ___ "We can't fly son, there are reports that Martian terrorists are on the warpath & the CIA have grounded us"
"Or shucks pa. Look, I'll take the pretty route & go round the Sun to Get to the Moon"
Splat>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.....
Cockney Sperrer's mother:
C.S., I don't want you playing in the streets anymore. You've picked up some terrible language.
Venus' mother:
What do you mean, "Look, Ma. No arms"?
Onan's mother waking her son one morning ----
"Here's your coffee & danish" as she pulled back his sheet. "Eek, what have you been doing, you discusting boy"
Onan smiled, "Hey mom, don't get all moody, it was spontaneous combustion. no hands"
"Well you're too old for the tooth fairy i suppose" she replied
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