Thanks for the reply.
The problem with my sons mother is that I'm starting to believe she's a full fledged sociopath.Her own mother(who I think is a MASTER manipulator) told me that.She showed me a notepad full of the research she studying in a attempt to diagnose her daughter as a sociopath.I never took it completely serious because I know they're mortal enemies, but I must admit, some of the notes she had highlighted fit my sons mom to a T.It's a confusing situation all around.I think they're both nuttier than squirrel turds.
I was just a dumb guy to get involved with her.She was smart.She didn't allow me to meet her family until after I impregnated her.Looking back, I feel like I was being played the whole time.I was very green and gullible.I had a soft spot(And I still do for the ones who're not abusive) for single moms because I saw how tough it was for my mom to raise me and my siblings by herself.I really connect with children in that situation and it makes me want to be for them, the guy I always wished I had in my life when I was in that exact same situation.But that's how manipulators/sociopaths are.The prey on the people with true intentions.
I met her through my sister who is a hair stylist.She seemed like a cool girl with a lot of potential.She was telling me about er plans to go back to school and get a degree in business.She wanted to open up her own chain of laundromats and a beauty salon.At the time, she was pregnant with my step son.About 6 months pregnant and basically homeless.She was living out of a weekly at the Budget Suites.I would take her food and help pay for the weekly.I was sad to find out that she'd already did all the paper work to have her baby adopted as soon as he was born.It was my first time being around a situation like that.She told me the adopted parents would be coming all the way from New York to get the baby(we live all the way west, near CA).I couldn't believe it.It mad me feel really sad and emotional.
Now the story grows even more disgusting.She'd always tell me she didn't know anybody in our town and that she always stayed to herself, but I met a girl that knew her in the past.The girl told me that she(my sons mother) had met a guy who was a drug dealer/pimp and he had her working as a prostitute for him.Supposedly the guy had a 500,000 dollar house, Mercedes, Hummers.Come to find out, the guy got arrested a couple of months before I met her.That's why she was homeless and pregnant.The girl told me he got something like 114 years on pimping & pandering and drug charges.I guess a couple of the girls he had working for him were under age and the judge threw the book at him.The thing that was a big shocker for me was when the girl told me she was still turning dates to pay for her weekly.After that, I confronted her about it and she admitted it was true.She started crying and telling me she didn't want to live that lifestyle, but she had to do what she had to do to survive.I felt bad because I was giving her money to pay for the weekly, only to find out she was turning dates at the same time.She probably had more money than me.
That happened about two weeks before she had the baby.After finding out all that stuff about her, I stopped communicating with her altogether.I didn't her from her again until she was in the hospital having the baby.She called me crying her eyes out, begging me to help her.The adopted parents had come to pick up the baby, but she told me after giving birth and holding the baby in her arms, she had a change of heart.She was crying and begging me to help.Even after hearing all the things I found out about her, my bloody heart kicked in.It was perfect timing for her, being that my roommate had just moved out and I had a vacant room.I told her she could move into that bedroom, STRICTLY AS ROOMMATES, until she got back on her feet.
It was a very emotional time.When she got out the hospital, she showed up to my apartment alone, without the baby.The adopted family was on their way to the airport with the baby, headed back to NY, as they were notified that she officially changed her mind about letting them adopt the baby.I vividly remember when they brought him back.There wasn't a dry eye in the house.They cried, she cried, I cried.He was only about two or three days old.I instantly fell in love with him.
Things started looking up from there.She enrolled in school and everything.I liked having her around the house because she was very tidy.she made sure everything stay clean & neat.I bet you're wondering how I ended up getting her pregnant? It's damn near impossible to put a male and female in a confined space and not expect something to happen.It may be hard to believe, but I never came on to her, she made the first move.She walked into my room one night, totally nude and laid down right next to me.She's not ugly, and she had a good looking body.I tried to fight off the urge because I didn't have any condoms.Things were getting hot, but I turned her down.She went to her room to get her medical papers and came back smiling "look, they tested me for everything when I had the baby, I'm clean".I went over the paperwork and everything looked good.We fell into a deep world of lust about 5 seconds later.
After that, she started claiming me as her boyfriend.Everything was cool until she came up pregnant.It seemed like she was having second thoughts." It might be to soon, I don't think I'm ready for another child.Are you going to marry me?She even uttered to word "abortion" and it made my stomach turn.I don't believe in that.The thought of killing something essential to yourself really bothers me.It's cowardly & heartless IMO.Where there's a will, there's a way.Not only that, she was willing to go full term when the drug dealer/pimp got her pregnant, but wanted to get rid of my baby when I already had proven that I'd be a potentially great father?It created some tension between us.
Long story short, after my son was born, the postpartum was horrible.We ended up breaking up.She took my son and went to her mothers house.I was really depressed.The lease on my apartment ran out and I went to stay with my sister.Her mother would call me and complain that she was leaving the babies on her.Eventually they got into it and she moved around living here and there.I was dying inside at this time.I didn't go to work or eat.I was worried about the babies.The straw that broke the Camels back was when she left my son at what was the equivalent of a gambling shack.She got desperate for a baby sitter one night and tried taking the babies back to her mom.Her mom told her she'd just watch one, but that she'd have to take the newborn (my son) somewhere else because they're "too much work". I just happened to call her that night to ask how my son was doing and she told me "he's fine, he's with my mom" but she didn't know I had already went to her mothers house and my son wasn't there.That was the first time I exploded on her.I called her a bunch of dirty names because I was overcome with anger.It was beyond anger.After arguing back and forth with her, she finally came clean and admitted she left my son with her moms neighbor.The neighbor is a notorious party animal.her house is like a bar/night club.All types of different people in and out, but that's exactly where my son was.When I went in there to get him, there was people smoking and playing cards right above his baby seat.
I snatched him up and he's basically been living with me ever since.By that time, she had disappeared.I was surprised she left my step son with her mom, knowing that her mom called CPS on her before.I was in a tailspin at the time, so I had to tough it out.My family started helping me with my son until I got everything up and going again.I'd periodically go visit my step son over at his grand mothers house, but I could tell she was at her breaking point.As I got more situated, I started going to get my step son more.It started off as going to the park, to spending a night, to weekends, to whole weeks, to whole months, to damn near whole years.Their mother would pop up from time to time, but as I stated in my first post, her mind wasn't focused on being a full time mom at the time.That's when she was involved with the "Bad news guy".I wouldn't be surprised if he was the same kind of guy as my step sons sperm donor.
I'll admit, it was the most peaceful time.I had the boys all to myself and I was away from her drama.Of course it didn't last long.After she had a baby with the " bad news guy" he kicked her door down and beat her up.I guess it was a sobering experience because she went back into "I'm tired of this lifestyle" mode.She told me she had to be there for her daughter.She checked back in school and moved to a new apartment.
She started coming back around.I felt like she had really matured.Her energy felt different to me.Like she felt more calmed down.She started doing more activities with the boys, but she never had them full time.I told her she had too much on her plate and I was going to keep them most of the time.She was ok with it.It gave her the opportunity to only have to worry about taking care of her daughter.That's the way it's been up until now.
I've let a lot of things go by, but when my son pointed at the marks on his face and said "mommy hit me" all that anger and disgust I felt for her came rushing back.When I took my son to see the nurse yesterday, I couldn't bring myself to tell the nurse "he told me his mother slapped him".She's been denying it the whole time and claiming his baby sister scratched him.I feel like she got away once again because I wasn't ready for all the CPS investigation stuff and the fear of what might happen to my step son.I'm his father, to.Even though it's not legal, we have a emotional/spiritual bond and he calls me dad.I've been with him since before he was born.He heard my voice while his mother was carrying him.I'm especially sensitive about his situation because I know without me, he'd be in for a uphill battle.Not only that, the emotional trauma of potentially being separated from me and his brother.
It sucks that their mother is so delusional, bi polar, manipulative/psychotic.She actually calls me the crazy one.Saying I blow things out of proportion and I'm paranoid.Sounds like the manipulations of a sociopath to me.Trying to reverse all the guilt back onto you.
If we look at her track record, she has 5 kids total. two are in the CPS system already.One she put up for adoption(step son), and one she turned her back on for most of his newborn/toddler years(my biological son).She tends to get involved with abusive men who don't stick around.Is on record for assaulting her own mother(bit her forehead, badgered her face) and threw hot chocolate on a 7/11 cashier.Not to mention any of the other stuff that might be on her record that I don't know about.
And now with my son claiming she slapped him, what do you think the chances of a judge granting me full custody are? Especially if I go to the authorities and let my son tell them what happened? when we went to the doctor yesterday, we never mentioned anything about a slap.I just asked them if the marks looked like scratches to them? by that time, he was in day 4 of the healing process, so the marks have started to fade.I think if I would've mentioned the slap, they would've anaylzed the marks from that point of view, instead of just looking for a "scratch".
I just feel like I believe my son more than I believe her.As I said, he's never been the type to make up stories.When I talk to her about it, it seems like she tries to convolute everything.Always adding new pieces to her side of the story.
She plans on coming to pick the boys up on Friday to take them to a swimming park.I really don't trust my son with her.She might try to scold him and make him feel bad for telling on her.I'm afraid if I refuse to let her take him, things could become pretty violent.She's the type to break out windows and cause a scene.I feel like the only way to get peace of mind is to report her for child abuse and walk through the storm that follows.There will be a lot of animosity, but i have to do what I have to do to protect my son.She knows a lot of shady characters, also.It could even put my life in danger.
I know this is a whole book, but any words of wisdom that you may have, please share them with me.Thanks for taking the time