I used to say the exact same things as yourself.
From my experience there are many ppl who Create an imaginary world of no God or creator because they are afraid of Judgement, or are to prideful, or want to live life ‘lawlessly’(as if no absolute truth exist) satisfying their desires. To elevate themselves to ‘king’ dictating right from wrong.
Personally, I now know I wasn’t so much one of those ppl, just a person who was being fed misinformation, deceived.
Once I sought, and discovered the truth, I decided if you can’t beat them, join them haha.
I desire nothing more than truth, whether I like it or not....we will all have to submit to it right?
I accept that my father may very well not be ‘in heaven’(a peaceful eternal society of law and order)... that he chose to reject truth/god, choosing isolation/jail/hell. It is what it is.
An important point is ‘who is good?’
Has God not revealed ALL have sinned?! That no one can enter Gods ‘hockey league’ because of any level or degree of goodness? That no one is pure/holy...,
That if anyone ‘dirty’ who tries to approach the Sun(would be burnt up)
What if this is the truth? What if? Submit your will and way of life?
I did. No brainer.